HOW TO REAR CHILDREN FOR A LIFE IN PRISON: BE A COLD, HARSH, DETACHED, RIGID, INSENSITIVE, ABSENT, EMOTIONALLY ABSENT,
EMOTIONALLY--VERBALLY--PHYSICALLY--SEXUALLY ABUSIVE PARENT, ...
I have a few threads up about preventing and overcoming ATTACHMENT DISORDER/ RAD--Reactive Attachment Disorder.
I suspect most folks have a whole lot more experience and familiarity with DETACHMENT PARENTING wherein the ATTACHMENT DISORDER patterns and features
were created by flawed parenting.
It occurred to me that articulating some of the more reliable ways to help insure that one's offspring had an above average chance of spending
considerable adult years in prison might be a way for many folks to think things through more clearly with better focus.
ATTACHMENTS: WHY YOU LOVE, FEEL AND ACT THE WAY YOU DO:
Has a section in the last chapters about how to do things right. They also discuss 'DETACHMENT PARENTING.'
However, this OP is off the top of my head from my 30+ years of counseling experience and my watching families extensively most of my 60+ years of
IF YOU WANT TO HELP INCREASE THE ODDS YOUR OFFSPRING WILL SPEND CONSIDERABLE NUMBERS OF YEARS IN PRISON, THE FOLLOWING ARE THINGS THAT SHOULD BE
DONE--particularly ages 0-8 and the teen years.
1. Insure that each child does NOT FEEL
2. Particularly avoid healthy affection of a genuine, sensitive, consistent sort.
3. Be cold, harsh, erratic, irrational, abusive in verbal communications.
4. Be angry, arbitrary, arrogant, insensitive and out of proportion in discipline. Remember that discipline WITHOUT SUFFICIENT RELATIONSHIP
demonstrating understanding and cherishing of the child--will virtually always result in rebellion.
5. Expect perfection and persistently be derisive and punitive when perfection is not delivered--i.e. all the time--as perfection is an unrealistic,
unreasonable, unreachable goal. And, it usually has more to do with a parent's sense of low self-worth instead of truly trying to train the child in
6. Avoid meeting the child's NEEDS--particularly 0-8 years old and very particularly as an infant. That teaches the child that the world is a scary
undependable place and that other people cannot be counted on to help meet one's needs or to be there for one when needed. Therefore, the individual
grows up frustrated with a tendency to just DEMAND and TAKE things because they have no realistic hope of receiving things through honorable
7. Avoid treating the child as an individual with the child's own perspective, needs, tastes, wants, etc. that are as fitting as any other
individual's. Demand that the child be an extension of the parent to try and prove to the parent's dad and the world that the parent is worthwhile and
wonderful instead of the luke warm pile of puke the parent has felt like all his life because of his lifelong RAD.
8. Parents out of their own insecurities--particularly women are good at this but some men, too--SMOTHER THE CHILD . . . trying to control the child's
every moment and behavior. Insist that the child breathe, walk and think in lock-step with the parent and throw a panic attack fit when the child
shows the least bit of creativity and/or independence and thinking on their own.
9. Avoid modeling how to handle frustration equitably without a lot of emotional drama, distress and cursing. Show the child that the only things
worth doing when frustrated are to throw fits, curse, blame others, destroy property, generally act like an out of control 2 year old in an adult's
10. Act supremely selfishly at all times--particularly around the child. Get in lots of p*ssing contests for control and for 'winning' every 'battle'
until the child gives up and curls up in a fetal position giving up on you as a parent and on life as worth the bother.
11. Never admit you as a parent are/were wrong. Arrogantly demand submission and kowtowing at all times over every petty issue and all the bigger
issues. Utterly fail to demonstrate humility and the maturity and capacity to admit mistakes and learn from them.
12. Insure that even infants HAVE to 100% conform their NEEDS AND WANTS to the parents' fantasies, arrogance, sense of worthlessness, tastes,
preferences . . . see the child as a trophy object to be paraded as the perfect little darling before all the relatives, friends and co-workers.
Emotionally & verbally pressure and batter the child into conforming to that fantasy in whatever way's necessary.
Feel free to add others you have observed or experienced.
edit on 17/6/2014 by BO XIAN because: add title in the body