The lost art of loving others

People seem to have lost the art of loving others. In the world of speed and time rarely do we, "stop and smell the flowers" as much as we should. We seem to live in a world of one upping the next person. Whether its just for fun or to be vindictive. Maybe the one up was to get that new job promotion. Whatever it may be we all seem to do it at some level. How many times per week do we have meaningful conversations with our neighbors? How many people do we pass everyday and do not say hi too, nor care how they are feeling at that moment? How big is the world around us, and how little a world we let in. It's like a flower that has never seen the sun. It starts out closed, and remains closed until it sees the sun. The flower opens and closes depending on the brightness. That brightness is what we let into our lives.

You are talking about community spirit rather than the ability to love. People still love others.

Communities, at least here in the UK aren't communities in the way they used to be any more.

Here in southern UK, within the London commuter zone, an hour to central London, there are vast new build estates being built, yet there is still a chronic lack of housing. Vast immigration from all over the world has occurred and those groups tend to keep to themselves. The Polish talk to other Polish, African to African, Pakistani to Pakistani etc, often because of language, religious and cultural restrictions.

Additionally, because of towns and cities being dynamic places where people move around, often never in the same place for any length of time, people don't get to know their neighbours as they used to in smaller close knit communities where generations of the same families lived over many years.

Consider also other socially destructive factors such as mafioso, gangs, drug dealers, religious extremism etc that makes ''getting to know your neighbours'' less desirable.

On a perhaps less sinister note is the destruction of the high street, community centres, town halls etc, if people now shop all over the place in vast retail complexes, chances are they aren't going to meet their neighbours in any settings conducive to forming any sort of relationship.

Here is an example I read this morning that is true, it details how some schools here are attempting their own religious agenda rather than the standard UK education, a form of multiculturalism that most here in the UK see as damaging to our own culture of ''community spirit'' and Christian ethics (practically all our laws and customs are based on Christian ethics).

www.theguardian.com...

A culture of fear and intimidation has developed inside some of Birmingham's state-funded schools, says Ofsted's chief inspector, Michael Wilshaw. Islamic "extremism" wants to rule the roost (my quote marks are there not to imply irony or scepticism, but simply because nobody seems sure of what extremism is). Ofsted's report finds that in Park View school, the sexes are segregated inside the classroom, their sports events are scheduled for different days and that a "madrasa curriculum" denies evolutionary theory and omits reproduction from biology classes. One teacher has handed out a worksheet stating that women must always obey their husbands, and another has been using school facilities to copy Osama bin Laden DVDs.

a reply to: LightSource

We lost it, the sense of oneness..
Everyone is pretending to be the one, the big self, detached from others.

The greed and jealousy have overcome love.
I can see it when I look at my "friends"...I can smell the ferocity, the will to fight others in order to become the best of all.
You can see it in schools where students would kill themselves for better grades.
You can see it at work where people would kill their colleauges in order to get a better paid job position.

Just think about it, how many real friends do you have? When I say real I mean people who would hold your back and stand behind you regardless of your social or economic status.
How many people around you are not just using you for some benefit of theirs?
...and how many poeple do you purely love just because of their mere existence?

You see, the society has spoiled our feelings because the number of real friends we are talking about here is very close to actual ZERO.

We think in terms of achievements, plans, numbers and we literally fight for money.
We are schemers, we don't do things 'just like that' anymore. We don't appreciate the mere existence and we don't love because of no reason.
We are f**ked up.

But remember, the error occured in the entire system and 'the western society', yet it is the system that is not broken, it was built this way.

Empathy, that is what we lack.

a reply to: LightSource

It's only going to get worse as technology continues to make communication less personal. Texting and Facebook has made communicating much more impersonal. People lose scruples and can hide behind a computer rather than face one-on-one interaction or experience the emotions of the other person. I see it in the young generation everyday! They don't realize how inconsiderate or rude they are because most of the time they communicate using social media. They're used to typing rude comments about someone without facing physical feelings or reactions from the other person. Everything is expected to be fast and to the point. They don't have the time to listen or carry on a conversation.

a reply to: LightSource

Synergy.

If everyone was compelled to share equally, there would be no "give and take."

This is why I have withdrawn from society. I could not continue to live amongst such hate filled people, to have my compassion and good will taken advantage of.

Failbook is the perfect example--so much hate by people who are meant to be your friends. I deleted my account there a couple of years ago--I really should have never opened it.

Anti-muslim, anti-LGBT, anti-science, anti-[anything] will not progress our society, it will only add to its downfall.

ATS and some other message boards are my only communication with humans outside my family. Its not a case of "F--- the world" its a case of F--- the people in it.

a reply to: LightSource

How big is the world around us, and how little a world we let in. It's like a flower that has never seen the sun. It starts out closed, and remains closed until it sees the sun. The flower opens and closes depending on the brightness. That brightness is what we let into our lives.

This is one of the most wonderful ways to express this. Not everyone is extroverted enough to ask others how they are doing, and yet still have the little nods and waves and hi's. We all need to practice more and more on shining ouwards to others like a star not inwards like a failed star.

Technology.

Do a search for a video called

LOOK UP
You'll see why the world is drunk.

GOOD POINTS worth some paragraphing for easier reading--particularly for older eyes.

originally posted by: LightSource
People seem to have lost the art of loving others. In the world of speed and time rarely do we, "stop and smell the flowers" as much as we should. We seem to live in a world of one upping the next person. Whether its just for fun or to be vindictive. Maybe the one up was to get that new job promotion. Whatever it may be we all seem to do it at some level.

.

How many times per week do we have meaningful conversations with our neighbors? How many people do we pass everyday and do not say hi too, nor care how they are feeling at that moment?
.

How big is the world around us, and how little a world we let in. It's like a flower that has never seen the sun. It starts out closed, and remains closed until it sees the sun. The flower opens and closes depending on the brightness. That brightness is what we let into our lives.

Certainly teaching love as a priority has diminished greatly in recent decades . . . some say by design . . . as TPTB have increased work pressures, hours worked by both parents . . . etc.

And, then there's ATTACHMENT DISORDER where children are essentially taught the opposite of love.

This thread can help with countering such ugly junk loaded onto kids by teaching some of the better points about teaching and rearing kids with secure attachment and particularly about teaching them THE WAY OF LOVE.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

It takes focus.

It takes keeping THAT GOAL OF TEACHING THE WAY OF LOVE in the forefront of one's mind during each interaction with the kids . . . and even interactions with others that the kids are merely observing.

And, to help the focus, one can ask daily . . . or several times a day . . . HOW WILL MY KIDS REMEMBER ME AFTER I'M GONE? If they were compelled to be honest at my funeral, what would they say?

Teaching the way of love is best done by modeling it in interactions with one's kids and with others in front of the kids--genuinely.

Anyway--thanks--good thread topic.