Public Transit, and the Death of Sensuality

Public Transit, and the Death of Sensuality

Sometimes I enjoy public transit. The intimacy found there is profound. The smells...even more profound. How many sardines can we stuff in this tin? Sure, let us touch our thighs together; we don’t have a choice otherwise. Am I in your bubble? No matter, you are in mine.

One time when I was on a city bus, a woman was leaning against me as we stood in the crowded aisle. She was immersed in a screen, headphones on, texting or facebooking as we stood there in an awkward embrace. Every time we went around a corner she would lean her head on my chest without any care; and me, almost frozen, did best to control my heartbeat for fear that she might feel it. With every motion, we moved together, closer, her cheek to my sternum, in a way reserved strictly for lovers. And I could feel her breath through my clothes as she exhaled, as I fought hard not not to breathe at all, for fear that it might make her feel just as aware as I. It was a strange and intimate slow dance, and her hair smelt of lilac. The moment had me. She, on the other hand, didn’t know I existed.

A somnambulist no doubt; or at least one that was conscious enough to get from point A to point B without inflicting serious harm upon herself. But other than some mediocre signs of humanity and wherewithal, she was senseless. So was the man behind me, lost in some imaginary world on the tiny screen in front of him as he huddled into my overcoat. I could taste the odors as they achieved a vortex right in front of me. It was completely silent. Every one on the entire bus was trying so hard not to notice each other, peering into some little fetish of theirs, fingering it and fondling it in a nervous fashion, running away from their sensual lives as they dehumanize themselves right before me. Is this what we are becoming? some sort of ape entranced by shiny objects?

I suppose it saves us from an awkward moment—or, God forbid, from having to talk to one another. But I don’t mind a little awkwardness. In fact, the awkward feeling I get is quite invigorating in moments such as these. That combined with my own desires, fears, arousal, amidst the darting back and forth of thoughts, and the inundation of all sensuality coordinated into a fully alive human being in a fully dead and lifeless environment, made me feel alive. Why would I not make it more awkward?

“There’s a world out there you know.” I said. Genius, of course—an icebreaker to make a polar expedition jealous.

“We’re in a bus,” she said back not looking up from her screen. I had nothing else to say. I became bored. I closed my eyes and I thought—

Sensuality is dead, and we’ve gone to great lengths to hide it. Nietzsche was right when he said “Christianity gave Eros poison to drink; but he did not die of it, certainly, but degenerated into Vice.” I mean how could we be sensual after thousands of years of religion denouncing it as evil, and philosophy denouncing it as false? Consequently, philosophy and religion have always been in bed together. None of these have been life affirming, but life denying principles, for sensuality, and therefor embodiment, and therefor mindfulness, and therefor love, and awareness of others, are hidden from plain view, denounced and discouraged out of perhaps fear or because some people are just too offended by their own sensuality, that they refuse to see it in others.

But no matter. We will always be sensual beings. Remember that. Throw them into new things, new risks. Become sensitive, sensual and vulnerable. Shame is never found in the senses. Sensuality doesn’t need to be hidden and suppressed, and nor does it need to be let loose in wanton abandon. It only needs to be seen, felt and listened to.

Thank you for reading,

LesMis

P.S. Is sensuality dead?

I . . . I don't get it. Where you trying to drop a subtle pick-up line or something? Why would being a transit passenger need to be something sensual in the first place? She was a rude twink, that's all I got out of the description of her. You, though, I don't know about that sensuality take. On public transit. That's kind of weird to use those two words together in the same sentence.

I don't know if sensuality is dead. I have been married for almost 18 years. And I have never taken public transportation... We don't have that in the boondocks. The closest thing we have is a yellow cab and you would have to mortgage your house to be able to ride in one.

BUT- I did enjoy reading your OP very much! I could almost see and smell the environment as you were describing it. I picture you and the woman in that awkward dance as sure as I can see myself when I walk past a mirror. You have talent hidden there.

I apologize for not contributing more than that, but could not resist telling you how good your OP was.

I can see where you are going. Even parties can have a whole lot of young people peering into their phones.

What I do not understand is that they are all texting each other in the same room. Why? The music is on, the lights are on, everything ready for a party and ..... they sit there texting.

Strange new world ...... From one of my children, it is better to text than talk, I actually get more information that way. Strange but true.

Yes, it used to be that when thighs touched or your arm would graze a boobie, there would be little smiles and a sorry. No one needed the apology, it was just cramped quarters, still people acknowledged the out of place meeting of two bodies. Now, your body does not exist to those around you.

It is as if personal space is decreasing until it disappears altogether and then we become like dead sardines in a can. Oh, you didn't know those sardines are dead, well, yes they are. Caught (You have been), processed (Schools are handling that, don't twirl that pencil) and canned! The canning is coming!

P

a reply to: LesMisanthrope

Is this what we are becoming? some sort of ape entranced by shiny objects?

i've listened to enough of your audios to know that you know that i know that you know it already *wink*


train girl was probably onto you right from the get-go.. like that upstart mother who suspected you were trying to hit on her two beautiful, intelligent & articulate daughters, you sensual cat you

a reply to: Nyiah

I . . . I don't get it. Where you trying to drop a subtle pick-up line or something? Why would being a transit passenger need to be something sensual in the first place? She was a rude twink, that's all I got out of the description of her. You, though, I don't know about that sensuality take. On public transit. That's kind of weird to use those two words together in the same sentence. - See more at: www.abovetopsecret.com...

Transit passengers are human beings if you haven't noticed. Every human being is equipped with these faculties called the senses through which we make sense of our environment. I cannot help but notice that a human has her cheek to my chest, and that she is basically using my body as a cling-to.

How are you able to turn off your humanity in such a situation?

a reply to: pheonix358

Very good. Good example.

It is a strange world, isn't it?

Not only is personal space decreasing, but the closer we get to each other, the further apart we become. It's paradoxical.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

I don't know if sensuality is dead. I have been married for almost 18 years. And I have never taken public transportation... We don't have that in the boondocks. The closest thing we have is a yellow cab and you would have to mortgage your house to be able to ride in one. - See more at: www.abovetopsecret.com...

Then you are safe, my friend. Stay there. Where ever sensuality is still alive, stay there.

a reply to: LesMisanthrope


Beautifully written !!

My first thoughts ... Are you a writer? ... I closed my eyes and I was there
with you.

People these days are all too busy and politically correct for sensuality,
too insular and protective of their 'own space'

a reply to: LesMisanthrope

I get what you are saying. I have this Beetles album, "The Magical Mystery Tour" and there are people on a bus on the inside cover. They are looking at each other, talking to each other, having a grand time.



A bus ride is a chance to get to know people, to discover more of the world.

In many ways, they are perfect for doing just that - a half hour of time, forced to be with strangers, to be innovative.

Believe it or not, this is what bus rides really were literally like before smart phones came into existence. Places of sing-a-long songs and verbal games made for them - possibly even card games, like poker or war. The city buses, just as much, but in different ways.

This story of Les represents a larger picture of how our society is changing. Despite his best efforts, I don't think the point of this post was a failed pick-up line but a statement about our society.

With the perfect answer, "There's a world out there, you know." "We're on a bus."

The Magical Mystery Tour was centered around a bus. There were even more than one of those. Charles Manson inspired System of a Down, and was involved in some crazy hypnosis and murder schemes - and all that happened on a bus, too.

Buses used to be a symbol of community for a reason.

But all that can go... shall we say... by the wayside if we stop interacting - we won't even know the difference between when we are missing out on something or not.

originally posted by: eletheia


My first thoughts ... Are you a writer? ... I closed my eyes and I was there
with you.

People these days are all too busy and politically correct for sensuality,
too insular and protective of their 'own space'

Facebook could be to blame. According to a friend of mine who is a developer with the company, they develop algorithms to ensure that people are only exposed to others with similar views to them.

This is a problem. Real growth comes with confronting people with different views, as does acceptance and anything else useful.

originally posted by: eletheia
a reply to: LesMisanthrope


Beautifully written !!

My first thoughts ... Are you a writer? ... I closed my eyes and I was there
with you.

People these days are all too busy and politically correct for sensuality,
too insular and protective of their 'own space'

That's what I said above! ^^^^^^^

I was hoping that it would go on for a bit longer myself.

a reply to: LesMisanthrope

Not only is personal space decreasing, but the closer we get to each other, the further apart we become. It's paradoxical.

You should bottle that comment!



P

a reply to: LesMisanthrope

I think my mouth is open in surprise at what you wrote here. I know exactly what you are speaking of.

From one sensor to another... you hit the nail on the head.

I've noticed this behavior of peeps since I was a child, not just in recent years with the boost in technology where people bury their heads and are oblivious to everyone and everything around them.

Sometimes I wish I could turn it off to escape...just a ity bitty little break plz ...sensory overload. lol

Very good thread, very thought provoking and written very well indeed !

leolady

a reply to: LesMisanthrope

I believe that this generation is missing out on so much, as they walk through life with their heads down. Their minds are closed to everything around them and engulfed by that little screen.

I remember when a glance from a stranger could change everything. A glance and a tiny spark. You could possibly have the best night of your life, or maybe a year or two of wonderment. Sometimes glances turn into the rest of your life.

Things feel almost mechanical now. People never speak to each other. In restaurants even, people at the same table will not speak to each other. Heads down, phone in hand. It is so sad.

a reply to: LesMisanthrope


I just wanted to add that your writing style is exquisite. The girl on the bus may not have been alive enough to feel your heartbeat, but I felt it. You pour your passion on the page....Bravo!!

originally posted by: newsoul

People never speak to each other. In restaurants even, people at the same table will not speak to each other. Heads down, phone in hand. It is so sad.

That's what's so sad .... they are speaking to each other, in the only

way they know how these days (in text) LOL!!...


I have a family rule that, if I am taking anyone out or having them over for

a meal (or they me) Definitely NO mobile phones or any other apparatus at

the table!!

I fear they miss SO much ..... *eye contact, *mood, *subtleties,*warmth,

*voice inflections, *intonation etc. etc.....

a reply to: LesMisanthrope

Damn me to hell, for I have lost my humanity and sensuality reading this post, due to the fact I did so on my cellular device. Thank God I wasn't on a city bus though. I mean, even if I was and not on my phone, it'd be nothing but the same old ride, same old rude people who wouldn't want to interact with me. Curse these bastard electronics that pass the time instead of letting the evils of boredom and overexcessive thought wash upon a person. And don't even get me started on music listening. Wouldn't want the most influential art of today to go unnoticed just as positivity starts to spread throughout. Oh wait, yes we do. It kills humanity's sensuality.

*sarcasm* (the whole thing. i'm good at that.)

Edit: although i'm guilty of using my phome, i know when to not use it, and many people do too. But when the environment is uninteresting and impossible to make otherwise, you kind of have to do what you have to do to not lose sanity.

Not dead.
Just changed.
The only constant.

a reply to: LesMisanthrope

Buses are not a fun experience if you are female.

Sensuality isn't dead but manners sure are. When I ride the bus I put my earbuds on and stare at my screen because if I don't I get harassed by men. I am sure they are still making lewd comments but to be quite honest, I cannot hear them or see them and that's why many women do that sort of thing.

Looking up and speaking is NOT an option. At least not where I live. From the few times I have responded to men they have then gone into creepy lewd flirting(not normal flirting even, just overt gross sexual comments). I don't know if this is just an issue with my location but conversation is a no no.

I have called them out on it as well if it gets to the point of harassment, where I can't even sit in peace.

It is self preservation to ignore any conversation made your way on a bus when you are female. This is of course from my own experience. I am sure there are women out there who have had different experiences while riding on city transportation.

If I had a dollar for every time I had something lewd said toward me or had men just not get the hint(i.e. me staring at phone and ignoring them) I would be a rich woman.

That is all.

Edit:

The girl on the bus was probably being defensive. That's my take. If you knew some of the stuff that many women go through when riding city transport you'd be more understanding of why one would want to ignore those around them.