Have you ever walked into a situation you weren't sure you were going to walk out of?

a reply to: onequestion

i have been at that " i am still alive " point so many times

i don't ascribe any " spirituality " to such moments

a reply to: onequestion

Yes. Five years of secondary education. Every school day, not being sure if I would be going home, or to the hospital, or to the morgue.

It stunted my concentration on my studies, and contributed to some behavioural issues, which I sorted with the help of good people I met at college (while I was re-sitting my exams to gain the qualifications I was prevented from getting the first time around by the circumstances at school).

All in all, it improved my street smarts, and made me aware of the importance of a level of spatial awareness, but at the cost of my academic progress. I cannot say what I would have been doing with my life, if that had not been a part of my life, and so I cannot say how it effected who I am today. All I know is, that I like the person I am today, and I would not change anything about what bought me to this place, because although sometimes it is the journey which is important, I also have a healthy respect for the destination as well.

About here is ok with me, and a damned sight better than some people get. I am pretty pragmatic about this sort of thing these days really

a reply to: Phage

Surfing at Margaret River in Western Australia, 6-10 foot swell. Well not really surfing, so much as somehow making it out to beyond where the waves are breaking and realising I do not have any ability in this sort of swell and shouldn't be where I am. I find myself in a situation where I can't get in to shore as I'm too incapable of actually catching one of the monstrous waves. Finally the inevitable happens; a larger set comes through but through some luck I'm only creamed once, spluttering in an endless sea of foam, finally getting pushed enough of the way in by gentler waves in the lesser inner break.

I was smart enough not to go back out.

Another time I became acutely aware of my mortality was hiking down a mountainside in Tasmania as a torrential summer downpour came in. I reached the button grass plain at the base of the mountain, and the walking track I was on became a rivulet, then a stream. I wasn't actually in a huge amount of danger, but I was walking by myself in a wilderness area and became more aware than I'd ever been that if I had a mishap, help was at best a few hours away (before satellite mobile phones were readily available, and the area is still largely off the grid), and at worst a day or two. Unlike my surfing adventure, I hadn't actually done anything stupid, but was simply in a situation that could prove deadly if I did happen to want to explore doing something innately stupid.

14 y.o. -nearly fell off the rock face at Roche A Cri mountain in Adams Wisconsin, luckily the little root I grabbed onto didn't break until after I regained a foothold.
15 y.o. -was in the back of a car which was driven over a cliff into a frozen lake by some dummy who claimed to know how to drive but didn't, cut hand punching out the window before the car sank through the ice.
16 y.o. -rolled a car several times and was uninjured.
21 y.o. -aircraft was struck by lightning when I was en-route to basic training.
21 y.o. -actually thought basic training and jump school were going to be the death of me several times.
21 y.o. -thought I was gonna die on my first jump at jump school.
22 y.o. -had a parachute malfunction (cigarette roll) during a training jump on Ft. Bragg.
22 y.o. -was deployed to reforger 1982 and diverted to an obscure operation in Turkey and what appeared to be run out of country by the Turkish military, not sure what it was that happened.
23 y.o - was deployed to the west indies for an obscure military operation, caught a ricochet in ankle.
23 y.o -during (and with the ankle injury) deployment was not allowed to sleep for around 7 days, felt like I was gonna die and the potential for death was witnessed many times during that period.
23 y.o.-another cigarette roll during training jump.
23 y.o. -woke up in a burning apartment after a night of partying off post, got everyone out of the building and was called a hero for some strange reason, turned out the guy downstairs (Nam vet and still in) was trying to kill himself.
27 y.o. -crashed a motorcycle at 90+ mph, no serious injury but while I was rolling wondered whether I was going to make it out alive.
27 y.o. -was seeing this crazy woman and really feared for my life several times, it took 4 years before she quit stalking me.
35 y.o. -got married and wondered if it would be the end of me many times before it was finally over.
39 y.o. -had a massive stroke which ended the marriage when my not being able to work for an extended period of time revealed some financial shenanigans the wife was pulling.
40 y.o. -laid off from work and lost my house for lack of funds, never mind I was still recovering from brain damage from the stroke and still dealing with a divorce.
42 y.o. -sold everything I owned and walked away and moved to Florida.
And that doesn't even include the last eleven years....
battery is dying, have to go....
Nobody get out of this alive, no sense dwelling on it, no sense being cognitively dissonant about it either.
Enjoy the time you have here...

Been in some house fires doing search and rescue and the SHTF!

Death stalks me like a crazy bunny boiler ex girlfriend , I firmly believe that someone up stair's is looking after me as i should not be here typing this and 50 % of me is atheist .

On 2 occasions where i should have been working 19 people were killed ,and on more than 1 occasion i have walked away from what should have been fatal without a scratch thinking wtf .

The only thing i can think off is i am one lucky [snip] and it was not my time

closest i can think of would be up on the two lane mountain roads i ride my motorcycle on. a few times going pretty fast ive had cars and trucks coming at me in my lane around blind turns because they where swerving around a bicyclist or going to fast. just happened yesterday actually, a Porsche was hauling and completely in my lane as i came up to the turn.

its weird it doesn't phase me at all just a quick thought of "friggin idiot" then keep going at my pace no anger or noodle legs. it all happens so fast, in a split second. none of that time slowing. guess it isnt close enough to dying.

So I don't know if that means I have been dead that many times or what, but I will say it was a somewhat scary experience all of those times. It is like a wave of panic came over my body, kind of like that electricity or burning feeling in your chest if you've ever had a panic attack, and thus why I thought that was what it was...And then I could feel myself blacking out. Breathing was difficult. That would last less than 5 seconds for sure. But once I was in the ambulance or had professionals there, I was not so afraid anymore. So that leads me to believe that the scariest part was being alone.

a reply to: JiggyPotamus
I will vouch to high heaven and back that the above quote is so on the money that it gave me chills.
My worst nightmare come true, I died in our Kitchen and I was alone and when I woke up it was major panic time until the EMT's and Fire Rescue actually got to our home.

My biggest fear was dieing alone and I almost did that, once the medical help arrived I somewhat relaxed.
If that is possible when you are flat lineing?

Enjoying the thread and the input.
S&F
Regards, Iwinder

a reply to: Iwinder
Me to. Very interesting people we have here on ATS.

Oh oh oh! Pick me! I have some stories!

Let's see...

First story; I ran away from home a few years ago, about a week before my 18th birthday. I had police looking for me, but I had exactly a week to stay under the radar before I was legally allowed to go where ever I pleased. So, my ex's mom took me in for a short amount of time, and my ex and I stayed in a little rv behind her store for a few days. We were staying in a town where I used to live and go to school, so I knew my way around the place pretty well.

In this little town was a place called the warehouse. It was a big abandoned (or so we thought) building, and it was AWESOME! It looked like something straight out of the Fallout games! Crumbled sections of the place, monstrous holes and cave-ins in the ceiling, abandoned stuff... it looked like it was hit with a bomb. The building was mostly in tact, but it was falling apart. No one had taken care of it in decades.

Everyone in town--meaning, the other teenagers I used to go to school with--visited this place all the time. So, naturally, I didn't think anything of it. I was pretty sure the property was abandoned, or, at the very least, whoever owned it simply didn't care who came and went.

So, one night out of boredom, I dragged my ex to the warehouse to explore and play. Now, at this point, he and a few of our friends already visited the place a few times earlier in the week, and I fell in love with the place.

We're there for about an hour, and a fat bald dude shows up with a flashlight and starts ordering us around, telling us that we're not allowed to leave. Soon after, a scrawny dude with Aryan Brotherhood tattoos comes in and starts flipping open a pocketknife over and over again. The scrawny guy approaches me and threatens to cut out my tongue.

At this point, I'm terrified, but I was surprised with my ability to maintain a calm composure. I smiled at him, trying to let him know he wasn't scaring me (which wasn't true, haha). I had a pocketknife in my pocket, and my mind was suddenly racing with delusions about how I'd slice at him, dart to the left, jump out the window, etc etc... it was some bizarre action movie-type stuff.

After the guy proceeds to threaten me some more, my ex is sitting on the other side of the room, saying nothing. He didn't stand up for me at all.

So, the bald guy calls his family over, and a fat chick strolls into the room with a few other people.

While they're talking to my ex, I flip out my tracphone and hide it by my side. I text my ex's mother and ask her to help us somehow.

She was there within the minute, I swear to God, I have no idea how she showed up so fast. She was, as I later learned, apparently packing heat and prepared to shoot some bad guys.

So, we all had a long talk about not trespassing on other people's property, the entire time I'm dog-eyeing the bald guy like hell. I took full responsibility, then stormed off.

I was so pissed. I was thoroughly convinced that the guys were going to kill us, and I was scared out of my mind, but I was ready to fight them. I was also furious with my ex, because he was acting like the biggest damn coward I've ever seen in my life. He always liked to ramble about how he could beat anyone in a fight, even though he'd only ever been in one fight all his life, and he got his ass handed to him. He also always told me, "I'll never let anything happen to you." Yeah right. I saw his true colors that night.

Aaaaaanywho, as much as I hated the events of that night, I was rather grateful and impressed at my luck. We got away unscathed, and we didn't attract any law-enforcement attention. All this happened while I was on the run.


Story 2 -

Shortly after the warehouse fiasco, on my 18th birthday, I learned that my father and stepmother were trying to have me put in jail (WTF?!). This hit me harder than anything. I hadn't done anything to them. I'd barely even talked to them for the past three years.

It was later admitted that they were putting a restraining order on me in an attempt to keep my mother from getting custody of my two younger siblings, who still lived with my father. My mother was about to apply for custody of them, and somehow this information leaked into my father's family. In a last minute attempt to stop her, they manifested an INCREDIBLY backwards and morbid story about me in order to halt the custody proceedings.

They made up stories about me abusing my stepbrother and stepsister as a kid, pulling knives on them, making them molest one another, sick things like that. Honestly, I wasn't the most friendly kid in the world, but holy crap! I would NEVER do the things they accused me of. NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS!!

So, my mother was unable to apply for custody, and I wasn't welcome in her house whenever my brother and sister were home. I was not allowed to see them anymore.

For a year, I drifted from place to place, between my friend's house, my ex's place, and home. I had to stay on the move constantly because I had to avoid crossing paths with my family, because if I did, I'd go to jail. It was the most miserable year of my life.

A few days after learning about this, everything seemed hazy to me. I could barely comprehend that my dad would do something so low. So, I went to a 4th of July party at my ex's sister's house, and I downed more alcohol than everyone else in the house combined. I took twelve shots of whiskey, and a couple swigs of something else (I don't remember what), and I blacked out.

The next day, I felt terrible. I felt like I'd died. Everything was heavy, and my stomach felt incredibly sensitive. My ex was angry at me for being so irresponsible (he didn't even try to understand why I was so careless and sad). He was the most judgmental person I ever knew, I swear... I know I screwed up, but if someone I knew was doing something like that, I'd be more concerned than angry.

He proceeded to suggest that I was "just like everyone else" and that I'm weak for using a substance to escape my problems.

It was the first time I'd ever touched any hard liquor in my life! I never made a habit out of drinking. It was a one-time mistake!

So, I went back to my mother's house and separated myself from him for as long as possible.

Point being, I honestly think I died that night, and something brought me back.

Everyone was playing Rockband in the next room, and when I heard "Time of Dying" play, it was ringing through my head like an echo. It was the only thing in my mind, and if that song hadn't been on, I honestly believe my brain would've shut down.


I have a couple other stories, one of them involving me getting run over by a police officer in an SUV, and one of them involving a drunken friend and a lot of fighting and struggling... but I'm gonna stop. I've rambled enough.


My 21st birthday is just a couple weeks away.

Life should give me more fun stories soon.

Three times:

#1 - When the police invaded my home while I was sleeping, murdered my dog, put me face down in my dogs blood, and told me if I moved they would kill me. They then proceeded to rob me blind "looking for drug paraphernalia". I've never used or possessed drugs so they of course found nothing. I never got anything back.

#2 - When a cop pulled me over one night for "driving suspiciously". Then when I blew a 0.0 while he was certain he could get a DUI off me, he beat me on the side of the road conveniently off camera and while shouting at me to stop resisting (which I didn't do).

#3 - I was at a friends house for the first time and his loser/criminal roommate got home, very drunk. He just bought his first handgun. He pulled it out loaded and chambered, pointed it at my head and in all seriousness told me I had 10 seconds to explain why he shouldn't kill me.

originally posted by: fossilera
a reply to: onequestion

First half of the skid was in real-time, and then it transitioned to slowed-down time - In that split second, I was able to come up with a plan, turn the wheel to aim for the ditch, and still managed to stop a couple inches from the sign.

This type of experience is actually pretty common in an accident, and very cool if you ask me! Time seems to slow down and can even become jumbled, with events seemingly happening out of order.

In my case, it was not life threatening by any stretch, but I was rear ended a few weeks ago and experienced the same slowdown, along with the jumbled events.

What happened was that I was stopped at a red light and an old truck with faulty brakes slammed into me. But what I perceived is seeing a truck stopped behind me in the rearview, followed by the drink in my hand flying out of my grip and slamming into the dashboard, and I remember seeing the liquid moving in a sort of slow motion around the interior of the car. I had just enough time to wonder what the heck was going on, when time went back to normal, and that's when I heard and felt the impact from the crash.

Fascinating stuff really.

November 7, 2011. I walked into the VA ER with intense neck and upper back pain. I though it was a pinched nerve. After a STAT MRI, they started prepping me for emergency surgery. A bacterial abscess infection was crushing my spinal cord - inside the confines of my spinal column - at the C6-T4 region of the spine. This is just above where the nerve bands that run your heart and lungs and kidneys and liver break free from the spinal system to go do what they do.

They handed me a phone and told me to call anyone I cared about, but to be quick about it. I made three calls and told the folks who answered that I loved them, and made sure they knew what was getting ready to happen to me. Not that I fully understood any of it myself.

I was told that my chances of being a paraplegic (or a quadriplegic) ran about 70%, and that I had a 50/50 chance of stroking out with a brain stem stroke during the surgery. That, of course, would have killed me immediately.

I remember telling the surgeon (who I'd just met at that moment) that if he felt it was going badly, that I'd appreciate it if he'd let the knife slip and send me packing. I don't think he liked that I said that, but in a moment like that, gallows humor runs like sweat with me.

When I woke up 4 hours later, I was strapped into a 45 degree angle reclining position, with my head in a bracket. I moved my toes and my fingers. Since then, I've discovered that I'm one of a very tiny club of people who've come through that specific surgery, in that region of the spine, with an epidural abscess of that degree of intensity, with full functionality. The VA even wrote up a case study.

The only thing that sort of bothers me is that the emergency nature of the situation (I didn't have long to live, since the nerve bands being crushed were the ones running my internal organs) prevented the manufacture of a prosthetic spinal cord casing to replace the outer half of the spinal column that they had to cut away to get to the abscess and clean it out, so my spinal cord is completely exposed to my muscle structure for about 8 inches in my upper back. Also, the entire shoulder and upper back muscle network is literally stitched together - muscle to muscle - and not anchored to the spine, as originally designed.

It all works, but it can end up feeling really weird, and if I overwork those muscles, the build up of lactic acid (which causes those muscles to expand) can have an interesting impact on my spinal chord.

The worst part is that while I can physically do things, the US Labor laws that require that I be covered by Workman's Comp insurance prevents me from ever working again, since no insurance policy can ever be taken out on me by any US business. With the missing spinal structure, I'm an impossible to justify risk. And to date, still no SSDI, but I'm hopeful.

The net effect of all of this has been a few waves of PTSD, but nothing terrible. My Tarot reading have become the stuff of legend, and I'm not afraid of a goddamn thing anymore. Not that I was all that afraid of stuff before that, but still...

Sounds similar to my experience of having a massive stroke.

I accepted, not the possibility but the FACT that I was probably going to die.

And now here I am basically unemployable forever because the stroke was unexplained and I am a high risk for any but the most menial and pointless, low paying employment.

I have relegated the rest of my life to a long, somewhat boring at times vacation.

Drive on homie, it don't mean nothing anyway....

a reply to: NorEaster

originally posted by: MyHappyDogShiner
Sounds similar to my experience of having a massive stroke.

I accepted, not the possibility but the FACT that I was probably going to die.

And now here I am basically unemployable forever because the stroke was unexplained and I am a high risk for any but the most menial and pointless, low paying employment.

I have relegated the rest of my life to a long, somewhat boring at times vacation.

Drive on homie, it don't mean nothing anyway....

a reply to: NorEaster

I'm spending my days writing. I think I like this researching and writing thing a lot. It took slowing me down to find it, but it's been okay. I might just like being outside of the constant competition for everything. Guys like us will always get by.

It's almost funny watching the everyone fight and scrap and pose and try to impress one another in whatever way when it doesn't even matter at all in the end.

Nothing is the potential for everything, not failure but potential.

Potential is to be saved like money, and spent on worthwhile things regardless of what others believe to be worthwhile.

It don't mean nothing anyway anyhow except to each of us in different ways which we fail to agree on.

We are all alone and always will be.

Anyway...

peace, over....

a reply to: NorEaster

a reply to: NorEaster

You are very brave, I am sorry for what you have been through and are going through.

I only hope you may find solace in the fact that even when we die, tis surely not the end - so says human experience.

I have a appointment for a possib, e brain tumor that runs in family - not many get it but I been getting weird headaches etc.

I am scared, but only of the pain of death in that manner - an opiate overdose (of which I have some experience) and you don't realise you are gone until you come back!

Actually yeah, like being born, but I didn't realize I wouldn't make it out alive for a time.

Yeah....

Oh I got a couple.

I grew up in a bad area in the bay area of California, and once me and a friend were fighting 3 guys in my apartment complex (they had previously robbed a friend of ours), he was 1v1ing at first then another jumped in, I pick him up from behind and dropped him on his head (afro possibly saved his life lol), he was pretty much out of it. The 3rd guy pulled a gun and just stood there looking stupid. Thank god he didn't start shooting or he wouldn't have looked so stupid to me. The guy my friend was fighting was left unconscious, the guy I slammed was just hurt but he didn't want to fight anymore, the other guy just stood there. The gun stopped the fight though, had he not had one he would've been next on the list.

Have seen multiple shootings there but was never afraid for my life, it was someone elses business not mine.

Also once someone pulled a gun and pointed at me while I was getting a soda out of a machine in my aparments, asking me if I was some guy I wont say the name. Surprisingly enough he let me explain myself, I truly was not the guy he was looking for and he got on the handlebars of another guys bicycle and peddled off into the night. That time I was pretty scared though because they were obviously from another area and were there with the intent to shoot someone. Lucky I wasn't the guy.

a reply to: onequestion

I was in the million strong Tiananmen Square demonstration 25 years ago today,(got photos but have heard China uses published photos for prosecutions) Went everyday until it got just too freaky. Tear gassed as we were leaving. Did meet student leaders - apparently they were shot in the head for their troubles. Their parents got a bill for the bullet used.

Got picked up by the Moonies on my first day in the US, mind games mostly - but really felt dicey. Had most vehicle accidents boats, planes, taxis, hit by a car, bikes. Walked across Northern Pakistan was quite sick on the Afghanistan border alone and unconscious for a few days, a family found me and dragged a doctor up the mountain. (Lost three stone in weight)

Was in St Pedro, Guatemala when the village stood up to the army draft, men with guns scare me.

About a minute away from a west coast 1km long surf break, on the right day it must be one of the best rides in the world, has scared me often. Had nightmares about some bad things that happened in these waves.

Scared the most while being a GE activist (I guess) can see no other cause. Returning home parked the car top of hill (got a 1km walk to get to bed (it's midnight) Hear a wizzing sound and a thump on the bank behind me. Never heard this before I walk closer peering in the dark. It happens again, s?*t someone is shooting at me, not much cover I hide behind the engine block of my car.

Stayed for a bit - no more shots, must have had a silencer - heard no shot. Probably a scope as well I guess, I did walk down the hill hoping they had gone. I figure it was a warning, and my hiding was saying message received. Didn't stop my letter writing though. The present and past prime ministers have read my letters. I wonder who this guy was working for?