It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Doomsday By Design -- Collaborative Story [ WORKING THREAD] [Updated!]

page: 23
14
<< 20  21  22    24  25  26 >>

log in

join
share:

posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 12:24 AM
link   
Okay... I need to make a point real quick.

I intended for this story to be very down to earth and realistic, I didn't mean for everyone to have fortified unbreakable houses they could abscond to, or have some kind of secret killer training they could use to their advantage.

I've kept my mouth shut so far, because I adore all the characters, and I very much enjoy where this story is going... but it seems every challenge in the story is completely negated because a character will be instantly supplied with guns, protection, etc... no single post sparked this, either. I was skimming through the story, and I noticed it again. The characters were meant to be relatively normal high school kids, from all different backgrounds and with differing personalities. And while that aspect has succeeded, it seems that many of the characters only follow the main story if its convenient for them.

I am not talking about any single character, and I do not dislike ANY of the characters. I adore them all, very very much, but there is a particular direction that the story is meant to go.

Dorian's bunker was the safe haven in the story because no one else in the town had any sort of fortified safe house, and now that has been completely tossed out the window. And, I feel as though some of the characters feel out of place in the story because it has become so super hero/espionage esq.

Dorian's bunker was meant to hold all the weapons used in the story, but everyone rushed off and found guns before the story even had a chance to unfold.

I want more than anything for the story to continue, because its been incredibly fun to write, but it is not turning out the way it was meant to.




posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 12:27 AM
link   
Point taken as it is your brain child we are writing in. Quite the monster you have created here, so do you have any ideas on how we might get things back on track? Maybe you should give us a rough chapter outline so we can reign it in.



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 12:31 AM
link   

originally posted by: hangedman13
Point taken as it is your brain child we are writing in. Quite the monster you have created here, so do you have any ideas on how we might get things back on track? Maybe you should give us a rough chapter outline so we can reign it in.


Just a simple walk to the northwest...?

It will take about a week. It'll be full of survival challenges, and maybe a wild animal or two. I figured that'd be the point where things evened out.

EDIT; I don't want anyone to think I'm disappointed in the story, I just don't want it to trail away too far, you know? I'm enjoying this story so much I haven't drawn in a week! I'm very into this.


edit on Xx134121230AM612 by XxNightAngelusxX because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 12:36 AM
link   
Ahh good old KISS! At this point it seems that we are about ready for the bunker crew to go out and do that very thing. Just let me know if there is anything you need for me to do on my end!



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 12:39 AM
link   
a reply to: XxNightAngelusxX

Based on your initial run through




Unlike most places in this day and age, most folks in Las Nueva Era were survivalists, who practiced gardening (as much as the climate would allow, anyway), hunting, food preservation, and water purifying. While they were moderately independent in some aspects, you couldn't rightfully call them doomsday preppers... because none of them were prepared for a day like this.


That is what I was working on and I would have thought, by that description, that many would have had at least a fortified cellar whilst others would have something more although not up to Dorian's standards.

So the story has developed as stories go. By the time I was 17 I already had 3 years of martial arts training under my belt and was quite deadly although, with no apocalypse handy, I never had to use it.

I do not know how you can reel it in now! We have all stayed within the provided guidelines.

I could have Sue-Lin go out and hunt Ryujin. I imagine that encounter would see the demise of both of them


That was meant as a joke though.


P



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 12:40 AM
link   

originally posted by: hangedman13
Ahh good old KISS! At this point it seems that we are about ready for the bunker crew to go out and do that very thing. Just let me know if there is anything you need for me to do on my end!


Right on!

I'm kinda hoping we run into Sue-Lin and Ryujin on the way, if they decide to venture out to this ol' town.

Time to write~



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 12:43 AM
link   
a reply to: pheonix358




I do not know how you can reel it in now! We have all stayed within the provided guidelines.


No! I'm not reeling it in.

This story's become an avalanche from a snowball, all or nothing! I'm not giving up on this story. No way.

Based on the premise, Dorian was supposed to be the most prepared out of everyone in the town. But that's neither here nor there, that phase of the story has passed, and doesn't matter much now.

The group is about to embark on their journey to the northwest.

Looking forward to seeing Sue-Lin and Ryujin eventually.



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 12:46 AM
link   
Although, with some added thought, with Ryujin and Sue-Lin not in the main action, you still have the group you envisaged, it is just that other things are happening on the side lines. The rifles in use are available right now, the story is set a decade into the future so these should be reasonably common in this time period.

As an example, Sue-Lin is about to write a summary of the world's current situation, as far as anyone knows, and give it to Ryujin to see what he can add and to get on his good side assuming he has one.

Up to you mam!

P



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 12:49 AM
link   
As a dungeon master [yea I am that kind of geek] players often make you have to tweek what you have planned because they decide to deviate from the story line on ya. But a player also should be willing to try and adhere to the story too. It seems to me that everyone writing this story will be more than willing to come together and get this story rolling on course. Don't be afraid to ask us to ask us to come back when we drift a bit.



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 01:04 AM
link   

originally posted by: hangedman13
a reply to: pheonix358

Cool I am going to read up on it! Although I am thinking about throwing a old school flint lock in my dads "collection" for me to grab. No need to load casings, just need a lead source a bullet mold and some black powder
For long term it is much more substainable fire arm. Except for the flint that is lol.

Wow that is some rifle!!


Long term, you are better off with a bow or crossbow. Unless you know how to make gun powder and where to get the raw materials. The only place to get quantities of lead from would be car batteries, assuming you are well versed in safely taking those puppies apart.

Once you understand bows and crossbows they can be made by an individual, as can the arrows and bolts.

P



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 01:44 AM
link   
Sorry... there was some electrical explosion outside and we lost our power for a while. But its back now, all is well.



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 01:48 AM
link   
a reply to: hangedman13




Don't be afraid to ask us to ask us to come back when we drift a bit.


Ugh... hammer on the nail, mate.

I hate sounding pretentious.

I wanna be friendly. I'm no good at laying out rules. And its funny, cause if you guys were to see me in real life, I look exactly the opposite of friendly. Just imagine the attire Sandra's usually wearing. Yeah... that's me.

This is practice for storytelling on my part. Been getting into role playing stuff with my friends, and I want to make a world of my own and be the soul story teller, but I'm terrible at it. I can write it out, but narrating it is another story.



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 02:27 AM
link   
You just had Alan lock the bunker door.

When Sue-Lin comes in much later, but already written, the door is wide open. As it was when they all left back on the previous page.

But hey, if you want me to change mine, I am happy to oblige.

On the other hand, seems a bit callous, Sue-Lin told everyone she would return, so what, no one in the bunker cares?

And also, already written, Ryujin has been to the bunker and had a look around.

So who and how would you like to fix these little problems?

I am easy. Perhaps leave the door open, leave a note for Sue-Lin with where everyone has gone and a reqeust to lock the Bunker and the code is 1933.

P

edit on 9/6/2014 by pheonix358 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 02:38 AM
link   
Just posted what the teams are up to.. Wrabbit 2000 sent the seeds in a U2U to me and I plagiarized the heck out of his ideas with his permission.. Thanks Wrabbit



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 03:00 AM
link   
a reply to: 727Sky

Nice! So the cat is truly out of the bag eh? Wrabbit is an NSA spy and really knows all this stuff. Awesome revelation!
Good writing!

P



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 04:05 AM
link   
Back .. well theres now a brand new little girl in the world as of an hour and half ago . both the mother and baby are doing well theyll be going back in morning to the nearby hmong village ..

Having dinner and just caught up on the story thread ..
@ 727 brilliant on the wrabbit giving the briefing .. sounds like the team getting ready to have fun ..



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 05:37 AM
link   


On the other hand, seems a bit callous, Sue-Lin told everyone she would return, so what, no one in the bunker cares?


I went back and edited that part out.

They left it open.



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 05:41 AM
link   
a reply to: XxNightAngelusxX

Thanks.

P



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 06:50 AM
link   
a reply to: XxNightAngelusxX

That was sweet!

P



posted on Jun, 9 2014 @ 08:37 AM
link   
a reply to: pheonix358

Shhhh! Don't ya know what secret means?? hehe...

Sheesh!




top topics



 
14
<< 20  21  22    24  25  26 >>

log in

join