ATSecret Attraction

a reply to: AnteBellum

Hi AnteBellum! (and everybody!)...
I will admit that I am a little bit in love with a lot of members here!
It's not sexual...it's just from the heart.

I'm attracted to people with humour...people who bare their soul....people who are consistently lovely.
I have even 'adopted' a number of members as 'family', and they are some of the best people I've ever known.

Some of the members I care about probably don't even know me here, but that's okay. I love that I have the opportunity to 'meet' people from around the world, that I would never cross paths with in my 'real life'.

jacygirl

a reply to: Serdgiam

You bring a good point to the table also Serdgiam that I have noticed but not explored yet.

When I was younger my dad took me to see Tomb Raider at the movies, I somehow bonded with the character Laura Croft. I wanted to be exactly like her, as if I was seeing myself as an older woman. Now there are many other strong female figures in my life that I admire but for some reason it was different with Laura Croft. I have spent many years trying to do some of the things she in the movie was able to do.

What caused that connection?
This is parallel with what I addressed in the opening post, but it is still a different thing though.

originally posted by: MystikMushroom
Well, its bound to happen when you spend a lot of time around these parts!

We're like a big old loony family

Excuse me! I represent that remark!

a reply to: jacygirl

Hi Jacy!

I have to use you as an example because you are one of the first to enter the thread that illustrates what I've been talking about.
You joined ATS almost to the day I left the site in 2011. Back in late March this year, recently back on, I came across a post of yours somewhere on here for the first time. Instantly before I read anything you wrote or knew anything about you, I 'felt' something. Of course I looked at your profile and such, but there was nothing out of the ordinary to make me feel drawn to you in some way. It just happened at first glance - BOOM!
Now when I see you here I feel like I'm talking to one of my long lost friends from high school, it's very sister-ish. I can't explain it and I don't know the reason for it yet. I don't even really know you that well, there are others here that I speak to more, but the feeling is very strong with you.
I don't get it yet???

originally posted by: AnteBellum
a reply to: Serdgiam

You bring a good point to the table also Serdgiam that I have noticed but not explored yet.

When I was younger my dad took me to see Tomb Raider at the movies, I somehow bonded with the character Laura Croft. I wanted to be exactly like her, as if I was seeing myself as an older woman. Now there are many other strong female figures in my life that I admire but for some reason it was different with Laura Croft. I have spent many years trying to do some of the things she in the movie was able to do.

What caused that connection?
This is parallel with what I addressed in the opening post, but it is still a different thing though.

It may be different, but perhaps it is sourced in the same behavior. I think that attraction can go a lot of ways.

For Lara, perhaps it was the idea of an independent, fearless explorer that finds the answers every time. That HAS to be appealing, especially given she was one of the first mass-market video game heroines. She wasnt a stereotype, she was more of an "individual," regardless of the fact that its just code.

I think that video games might be a good place to look for this behavior, simply because it tends to require "relationships" that are more analogous to real life. Relationships through message boards, FB, etc. all run the risk of only seeing the good side of things. In games, as I am sure you have noticed, there are situations that can get dramatic. Very dramatic.

But, I just lost a video game buddy, and I have to say.. it hurts as much as losing a friend that I knew for the same amount of time in person. I mean, there is a separation when we only communicate through words/voice, but there is still a very, very real person on the other side of the words. Sometimes, I think its easy to lose sight of that fact. That we are not just interacting with some private world, as in a book. Its a new experience for humanity on mass scale, and I think we are only starting to scratch at the surface of what it might mean for the long term.

I think another factor would be whether or not one is single. Several have mentioned it on the thread already, but I think our cultural story is that being single is something that is to be "cured." Meaning, we are always looking for a potential mate regardless of venue.

In the end, I think there are a ton of really interesting factors at play, but they all center around the idea of "relationships through technology." I think it is even bringing to light new types of relationships that have no prior analog (catfishing).

a reply to: boymonkey74

I said the same thing to my associates also and they gave me the same reply, "Jesse Who?"
One even asked me if he was the guy that started the Cabo Wabo Tequila Company.

Are we that different or is everyone else just completely ignorant?

a reply to: AnteBellum

Aww thank you hunny, I feel the same way about you!

I've adopted a few 'sisters' on this site...I'm an only child, so I'm lucky I get to pick my family, lol.

I am always me when I'm here. I don't pretend to be anyone other than who I am. That's what I meant by the word 'consistent', earlier. After a while, you can tell who is genuine. (at least I think so)

I appreciated your comment about me, because I still tend to think of myself as fairly invisible here. In my mind, not many people know me....but then I get lovely u2u messages, and 'friending' messages...and it makes me happy.
jacy

Serdgiam...Did you see the movie/documentary 'Catfish'? I watched it....it made me sad that some people don't feel good enough as they are, and feel that they have to reinvent themselves to be appealing to others. (It's also scary that some people will go to such a huge extent to live a lie too!)

a reply to: AnteBellum

I cant help but wonder if you are experiencing a kind of psychometry (the ability to pick up on the history or owner of an object by holding it).)
The description that you give sounds very similar to this very real ability.

originally posted by: jacygirl
Serdgiam...Did you see the movie/documentary 'Catfish'? I watched it....it made me sad that some people don't feel good enough as they are, and feel that they have to reinvent themselves to be appealing to others. (It's also scary that some people will go to such a huge extent to live a lie too!)

That was actually what opened my eyes to the extent of what was happening. I was heavily involved on the internet at its upstart, and someone else mentioned this too.. But, back then, people were meeting left, right, and center. I was meeting as many new people as possible, and there was never really a thought of risk. Perhaps it was being naive, but at the same point, there never was a situation that was risky that I experienced. Though, I started to see changes and jumped ship 12+ years ago. In that time, things have changed drastically.

But back then, I did make a connection with someone that opened my eyes in a lot of ways, even though we never met (CO/CA is a hard gap to bridge when young). It was deep, and I would say even mystical. I wasnt mature enough to realize what was there though. All that said, I am not sure how open people will be to similar experiences now, because of the "dangers" present and thats a shame in a lot of ways.

I actually think that as a species, we could use this to our advantage in good ways (like the above experience). I also think that the dark side of individuals is more apparent when communicating anonymously. If members of an organization were judged on these two factors alone (how much they bring to the table, and how much they revert to their "dark side"), one could create something rather unique that may have not been possible before this point in time. If we added in that subjective "connection," in all of its various meanings, perhaps it would allow us to see more easily what is really going on.

I find it all completely fascinating though, and it isnt talked about much. The evolution of social behavior in the advent of technology could be something we use in a good way, or not.

One of my nieces, who is in her young teens, was actually asked out by a guy on her FB recently. It took everything in me not to troll that, but I was a good boy. Its just... how often do you have ringside seats to a conversation like that? I felt like it was literally inviting me to comment. I think something like that is completely unique to the technology we use.

a reply to: AnteBellum

Both dear...I know not one person in real life who I can talk ATS stuff about, If I start with my mates they just tell me it is all bollocks, at work they think Iam bat # crazy.
Only place I get some sanity ATS is.

a reply to: AnteBellum

So do you have the outfit? If so pics!!! lol.

a reply to: bluemooone2

Wow, you hit the nail on the head!

I have that ability and I've never told anyone on here about it.
I would have to research to see how these coincide with each other, I never really thought the two circumstances had anything to do with each other until now.

If you have any info please post it, if not I will get back to you.

originally posted by: boymonkey74
a reply to: AnteBellum

Both dear...I know not one person in real life who I can talk ATS stuff about, If I start with my mates they just tell me it is all bollocks, at work they think Iam bat # crazy.
Only place I get some sanity ATS is.

one of my friends who thinks i am crackers and does not want to know anything looked at me last night and said you may be right about people on t.v after seeing this on the box [ and it is not right out ]

originally posted by: boymonkey74
I know not one person in real life who I can talk ATS stuff about

Most of my social circle are into 'ATS type' talk, but we're from the 90's rave/free party/demo culture so blind acceptance of authority is not the norm for us.
One of my closest 'non-digital' mates is a member though and it is funny when we 'bump into each other' at threads sometimes - I would love to bump into a few members in 'real' life though, face to face is always a different experience, especially with the alpha-keyboard/needlessly aggressive types lol

a reply to: AnteBellum

When I read I can hear the voice in my head(no speed-reading here at ATS) change from post to post.

I get this too...
It's strange...
I've got two possible explanations to this phenomena...
It's either the voice of the person almost projecting Astrally... & we can here there wavelengths aloud...
Or Spirits that sit around with us reading it for us

I tend to go with the 1st...
Sometimes I hear the accent and then read where their location is & they coincide!!!

Maybe others know what I'm talking about, but I agree with BoyMonkey... Most just think I'm a little deserving of the Sectioning I received in 2012...
One of the reasons I was also absent from the site for a while!!!

Maybe us who disappear for a while are an collective of Souls going through a transition!!!

Sorry for rambling

Peace AB!!!

Yea we are like a big ole dysfuctional extended family with a slew of weird Uncle's & a couple of questionable Aunts. We piss you off, we make you laugh, you love us, you hate us. You swear your never speaking to us again & viola' here you are.

Just never invite us to your home...we will probally wreck it. I mean in order to get some of the GINORMOUS egos on here in one house.....you would need to live in the Super Dome. Just like family it's O.K. to love us & hate us at the same time.

Quite an interesting thread with all the replies, and I have to say some good insights.

Its my opinion that bonds that form before there is any physical attraction seem to be longer lasting, at least in my experience.......

I would however be interested on what the inbox looks like for people who have commented on this thread now!

a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

I hope empty because mine is lol.

a reply to: boymonkey74
Mine is rammed, can't keep up with it!! Nah, empty as usual lol
Loads of members probably imagine I am a bit of jerk with my blunt honesty at times though, so no surprise there. I don't ever go out with an intention to cause emotional upset to fellow debaters, but I don't choose the sugar coated message as many do, I think such false interactions are as damaging to our society as being outwardly unkind.
If I'm nothing else, I'm always honest, even if I know I'll be accused of brutality because of it.

...I choose honesty over potentially hurt feelings, including my own, every time. Not volunteering information sometimes perhaps, but always honest if asked "What do you think?" - works much better for me in my non-digital life Lol

a reply to: grainofsand

Thats the good thing about the ATS community I can get so mad at someone and the next day I would have forgotten about it and it is all cool.