The Shed 2

Dawg woke up feeling somewhat better, but it was still somewhat dark. He realized he could see the planking and gazed intently at the wood grain. He didn’t know why, but he always found comfort in a well crafted piece of wood. He lay there for a period of time looking at the planking until his stomach growled.

He looked up and realized that he was under a pile of netting. He didn’t remember crawling underneath it, but it was comfortable and smelled nice, like straw. “Food”, he thought, “And coffee.” At which point his body reminded him that he had to relieve himself. “Oh, hell. I don’t know where the bathroom is.”

He scrambled to untangle himself and once on his feet scurried below decks looking right and left with a growing urgency. “Ya gotta be kidding me! No Bathroom?!”, he yelled to no one in particular. And top things off, his stomach was really growing impatient with the lack of nourishment and his brain was getting cranky from the lack of caffeine.

His intestines rumbled a bit and he ran for the stairs topside. “Screw it, I’ll just get to the deck and let it all hang out over the rail. This is now an emergency.”

Upon throwing the door open to the deck he realized that this plan just would not work. The railings were too high and the ladies ship was off to the left. “Port…right? Left is Port, Starboard, is right.” He couldn’t believe his brain was thinking these things considering his plight.

He ran up the stairs to the rear (Stern…get it right Dawg) of the ship, grabbed some line and started tying it off to the rails of the ship and around his waist.

True, at the Con (The ship’s steering wheel to you land lubbers) tried to start up a conversation, which Dawg wanted nothing to with at the moment.

“Ah! There ya are!” I wonder where you had gone. Do ya fancy some breakfast?”

“Not now True!”

“Where ya been? I haven’t seen ya in a bit…ya know I could use some assistance here? This ship is big you know?”

“Not now True!”

And with that, Dawg with a line tied around his waist jumped overboard.

True cocked an eyebrow and took a drag off his smoke. “He’s a strange lad.”

Hiya Mura!

Nice to see you back! I love the way you say I'm the writer instead of a writer hehe. Now, how to convince the publishers?

I visited your link. You are definitely THE writer. I love your poetry.

FYI, don't pay any attention to Rod, he's sane so he doesn't know what he's on about!

Aha! That explains a lot!

Too many revelations for a Sunday morning: poetry I GET and an explanation for Rod. I'm in danger of moving into the sane camp too now. HELP! How do I prevent this terrible affliction (as TrueBrit so rightly put it - another revelation).

Fossilera, my day is not going fine. This is far too revealing and I am feeling inadequate. I'm going away to sulk for a little while.... and perhaps write that story that Gordi and TDawg have been nagging for......

That should keep me firmly in the opposite-of-sane party. Either that or the joy and delight of Monday morning to look forward to.

Mura

a reply to: TDawgRex

As Jane came round the stern of The Dragon, reefing in the mainsail on Skip, she heard a loud splash at the stern of the boys galleon.
"What the heck! Dawg! What are you doing you silly man?"
Dawg was splashing about in the water as Jane manoeuvred Skip over to him.
"I couldn't find the heads!" he spluttered.
"Well get yourself sorted around the stern, then I'l help haul you on board" she chuckled.
While Dawg was treading water, Jane leant over the stern and whispered in his ear,
"Couldn't you find a bucket?"
"Look woman, I was that desperate I didn't know my rollocks from my aft!"
They both burst out laughing at Dawgs analogy.
"Come on you great lump, if you're done lets get you aboard" as she extended Dawg a helping hand.

"How fares bellow?" shouted True from the deck of the galleon.
"Oh we're fine" Jane called back as she grabbed Dawg's belt to haul his R's over Skip's stern. "Just drop the rope ladder over would you please?"
"Okey dokey" True replied and promptly flung the ladder overboard.
"There's a bloody ladder! squawked Dawg
"Yup" smiled Jane.
"I really need to rekke that ship"
"Get to know the ropes, as it were" grinned Jane
They both guffawed.
"Right your belly sounds hungry. Fancy going onshore for some breccy? I've got bacon and eggs."
"Splendid idea me dear!"
"Well hoist the jib, and we'll be ashore in no time me harty!"

........to be continued

Rainbows
Jane

LOL Enjoyed the latest story editions Dawg and Jane!!!!

Hello Foss and Mura and everybody!

Happy Father's Day to our Dads!!!!!

"Watcha doin?" asked a curious looking pixie as Tsu fought to alter the position of the Ariel.

"I'm trying to get a better reception on this crystal ball, I'm looking for the Shed frequency but I keep getting the wrong channel." she cussed as a police helicopter chased a stolen car through the spherical glass. Another twist of the ariel and they were looking at old re-runs of 'Home and 'Away'

"Yay!' shrieked a young looking pixie, Amanda, as Shrek and Donkey's faces became visible, singing and dancing without a care in the world.

Tsu sighed resignedly. "OK, you can watch it for a bit but then we need to get back to finding the Shed.



"What land is this?" asked Tsu quizzically as the pixies danced to the BeeGee's 'Staying Alive'.

"It's the land of 'Far Far Away', don't you watch tele?".

"Not if I can help it' muttered Tsu, "What's 'Far Far Away' anyway?".

"It's where we want to go!" said an excited pixie, "We are going soon, in about 2-3 months, we think, when we've got everything ready. It's only down the road really."

Sigh, no one told me! Why 'Far Far Away' anyway?" Complained Tsu.

It's where we have friends! Mice, Pigs, Giants, Trolls, Faeries, Disney Princesses..." The pixies were getting more excited by the minute.

"We may as well just go back to the Shed then, it's home and we can see it through the glass ball" Tsu offered, not happy with the idea of change.

"I know" said Amanda, "We will go back to the Shed, we want to see 'Far Far Away' though, a holiday, a break from the pressures of living within a cave within a tower on a mountain".

"I guess we just click out heels together three times like this then?" mocked Tsu. "I could look for courage too while I'm there." she giggled.

Without noticing what had happened Tsu and the pixies found themselves in the 'Land of Far Far Away.

"Yay" shrieked the pixies as they spread out, enjoying the carnival atmosphere.

"What time is it?" asked a yawning woman, stretching out in a recliner near the candy floss store. "Sssshhhhh, go back to sleep, it's only 2014" whispered a group of three sweet looking pigs.

"Quarter past eight?! I have to be..."

"Ssssshhhhhh, no, it's half past six, PM, year 2014" said a pig. "You have another fifty years before your alarm goes off."

She had already fallen asleep though by now, comfortable and relaxed in a duck down duvet, happy dreams starting to form through the fog in her mind.

"I've fallen down the rabbit hole" mused Tsu under her breath.

"Wrong story, wrong thread." smiled a cuddly looking Faerie God Mother as she passed.

With that a mean looking wolf appeared and started, "I'll huff..."

"Oh FFS, yeah, yeah, yeah" groaned Tsu, "You'll huff and puff and blow my house down, blah, blah, blah. If I get on the property ladder I'll be sure to let you know."

"Pst! You!" came the voice from behind the trees. "Over here, this way, under the awning." The pixies had regrouped by now and were relaxing in the shade and drinking Horlicks and snacking on a Ginger Bread Mans ankles.

"What is this place?" asked Tsu "Who's in charge and how do I get home? I don't like it here anymore, I'm tired and I want to go home."

"You are safe here, you can snooze if you must. The land has been taken over by an Ogre though, albeit a not-very-clever Ogre, an evil cousin of Shrek, not for long though." He said confidently.

"Parliament has a plan to get back land, the Queen is in hiding and the Prime Minister, Pinnochio, is working on tricking the Ogre so that we can slip past unseen. Donkey, our Union Leader is forming a plan of attack." He said.

"Where is Pinocchio?" asked a particularly wicked looking pixie. "I want to ask him about his manifesto and sit on his f..."

"NO! screamed Tsu. "FFS! The Suffragettes did NOT die for your right to sit on the fence Goddamnit!"

"I'm really, really sorry about them." said Tsu through a facepalm. "Pixies, you can't take them anywhere!".

"We really do need to get along now though, it's getting late and it's past our bedtime".

"Take these", he offered, "You will need them to get home, the doors are all open but there are invisible forcefields all around the land."

"EH? asked Tsu rubbing her eyes, but he had already stood to leave.

"I'd chat for longer but I have to drop off some catnap to Puss in Boots and then I'm going to the pub with the Sandman". He said.


Tsu looked around the office and wondered where the time had gone. Fidgeting, she tried to get comfortable and continued writing her most shocking piece yet for the latest competition on her favourite forum. Failing to get comfortable she checked her back pocket to see what was causing the unease.

"Eh? Why the feck have I got multicoloured glowing beans in my pocket? I suppose I could plant them is an open area of the garden, maybe next to the wall. I spose a little nap wouldn't hurt first though..."

a reply to: Mura44

Hiya again Mura!

Trust me lol, ALL of the writers here feel inadequate at times! It's what pushes us to try harder.

I really do think that if you were to write a piece in the same way that you write your posts you would do absolutely brilliant! There's only one way to find out right?

I think there's an emergency crisis line for anyone in danger of becoming sane. It's nothing to be ashamed of by the way, I once spent an entire summer having all my wits about me, thankfully my people stood by me and passed it off as a phase. I was soooo lucky!

a reply to: Tsu322

Hi everybody!
I'm really enjoying all the writing!

Tsu...can you see me in your crystal ball? I don't know where I am.
(Am I still locked up...or am I on a ship? I've disappeared....)

Oh, and sanity is over-rated. I much prefer crazy. Normal people seem so unhappy.

jaky

a reply to: jacygirl

Hiya Jaky-Sis,

((((((((((((((((((Jaky))))))))))))))))))))

I've missed you so much!


Can you guess I've had four cans of Red Bull today?

Hows Macy and Sophie? Both well I hope?

Are you thinking of doing anything for the next writing competition? I'm writing three different pieces at the moment, a poem that I wont be able to post, the comp piece and a play for another comp. I don't know what to think about first,it's great! Until I'm trying to sleep that is.

More massive squidgey hugs!

Far too much caffeine.

a reply to: jacygirl
Jacy my dear, you are not lost, you are on board The Dragon...


Well you were after me and Gordi rescued you.

Anyway woman....this is your thread n'est pas?
Well how come you haven't contributed to the story since the 24th May (Page 2)???

If it's OK with everyone, I will try and reconvene everybody on the Island for the treasure hunt......once Dawg and myself have finished our bacon and eggs that is.


Hopefully being re-grouped with a mission to accomplish we can all get our creative juices flowing again.


Just to remind everyone....Gordi has put us here....


Which looks like this....

(which is a lie because that's Bora Bora in RL )

And we have one of these to solve....


Rainbows
Jane

Hey all,

Just checking in, as I'm in need of some mental enjoyment. To make a long story short (which I know everyone is disappointed about), I met up with one of my old friends today that I haven't seen in about 4-5 years. We got to talking about the "good ol' days", and how everyone has changed. Well, stupid me asked about an old crush of mine, and not only did I find out that she's now "smoking hot", but my friend (who was well aware back then I liked her), told me that had I waited a little bit longer, we would've been a couple (grrrrrr, he tells me this now, 5 years after I made the mistake). Shame he didn't tell me back then, as I could have stayed at the dance with a girl that wanted me to stay.


**Splashing sounds in background**..."ah, what was it? I wasn't the one dumping the treasure chest overboard" foss mumbled as he awoke.

**curses floating in the open port window** "wait a sec, wasn't Dawg heading out on a solo journey?"

"You've missed a lot again, I see" Night said with an expecting smile. "Had you read the official story book, TDawg came back into the story about 2 episodes ago".

Suddenly, a pixie smacked into the window, ("about time I got my revenge on one of them" foss secretly thought), squealing that a "Dawg" was caught on board True's ship.

"Well" foss mused aloud, " seeing as all of our comrades are here, where are we off too?"

a reply to: fossilera

Hey Foss! Yep, it was a short sabbatical. Talked to my Father and he helped me pull my head out of my @$$. All with some simple advice and wisdom. So....I'm baaaack!

Nice addition by the way.

"Hmmm....I smell bacon and eggs on shore. let's go and eat, gather the rest of our friends and find out what our next move will be." Night adored the ocean, watched the rippling water for a moment, jumped in and swam to the shore with a crazy pixie hanging onto her hair for dear life. Wolf and Foss followed.

Foss, is there any way you can contact this girl you spoke of????

originally posted by: TDawgRex
a reply to: fossilera

Hey Foss! Yep, it was a short sabbatical. Talked to my Father and he helped me pull my head out of my @$$. All with some simple advice and wisdom. So....I'm baaaack!

Nice addition by the way.

Yay!!! Hugs the Dawg!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry gang, I've been so dang busy with school and family drama the last week that ive neglected you all
I hope to get back on track soon...

a reply to: Night Star

Ha, there probably is, although I doubt it would go anywhere; She chucked everything back in my face that I offered her at the time, and seeing as her habits haven't changed much from what I've heard, there'd be a lot of work to do.

@TDawg, glad to have you back (as always). As you can see, we all missed you!

a reply to: HomerinNC

Good to see ya here again Homer. We all go through stuff like that at times. We just have to persevere through it and not let it dictate who we are.

It's been a while since you thrown a spatula at me. Ninja style of course,

a reply to: Night Star

Thanks Night! And...um...

STOP THAT! I've got the grummbellies.

Welcome back Homer!
Dawg, we like giving hugs around here so suck it up cupcake. LOL

a reply to: TDawgRex

DAWG!

So, you did not have your wyrd upon you after all? Bloody good to hear it!

Welcome back!