The Shed 2

a reply to: gimmefootball400

Gonna have to pass on the shine (maybe a sip) Gimme. Me and hard liquor don't get along. I seem to always get hangovers from the stuff. And I hate hangovers. A day hugging the lou is a day I can do without.

Good morning everyone!

I have had such a strange twenty four hours! I went to a training course at Berkhamsted yesterday, which involved being up at four thirty in the bloody morning, and so I spent most of yesterday in an odd stupor...

I learned a lot though, and I like doing that, so it was worth the extremely early rouse!

Also, it's a driving lesson day today, and I have other matters to attend to throughout the day, so I will not be able to catch up with the thread until tomorrow in all probability.

I hope you are all well.

Much love, and massive hugs to the lot of you!

a reply to: TrueBrit

More roundabouts for you today?

I can't stand the things myself.

a reply to: TDawgRex

Yes, in all likelihood there will be some circular traffic control devices involved with today's lesson, but that does not concern me nearly as much as the sheer number of total nut cases that my colleague (who drove us to Berkhamsted) encountered on the journey yesterday. The weather is not all that different today, and therefore I am concerned that there will be further examples of nutterdom on the roads.

I am hoping however, that the limited scope of today's escapades, will mean that I come into contact with a smaller number of them than we experienced yesterday!

At the moment I am watching the State opening of Parliament, checking out the badassery of the Yeoman guard, the Lifeguards, and the pomp and circumstance involved with the whole thing.

Hello folks!

Just dropping in to update you on the days silliness so far.

My driving lesson went well, and today was my first time on a full fledged dual carriageway! I reached up to fifty miles an hour during the lesson, not to mention handling some of the boroughs trickiest roundabouts, some very tight rural roads, and people failing to indicate at turnings and roundabouts, which as I am sure you can appreciate, makes everything just a little bit more awkward than it needs to be, especially for the less experienced road user, like myself.

My cousin lives in a village which is quite a few miles from the nearest main road, and also takes lessons from the same instructor that I use. She actually got his number from my sister, who also put me in touch with him. Anyway, because she lives a fair whack from the beaten path, she has to meet my instructor at an industrial park in a town called Rochford. To get there, it is necessary to take a route, comprised of the things I mentioned above.

He had booked her in for a two hour lesson, because he had been unable to fit her in the week before. We roll up at the designated meeting place, and I put the car in neutral, put the handbrake on, turned off the engine and stepped out of the vehicle. I began to roll myself and my instructor a cigarette, while he placed a call to my cousin to see if she was nearly there.

She was not. She had been waiting for a confirming text message (which was unnecessary since she had already been firmly informed that the booking had been made, in prior communication from my instructor). So she was still at home, and her lesson therefore, had to be cancelled, since she had no way of getting there in time to partake of it. The next pupil in the schedule, was my sister, and the pick up point for that was back in my street. Rather than have me sit idle as a passenger, my instructor offered me the opportunity to drive back as well, and I jumped all over that.

Basically, short of a few minor balls ups, I am informed that for my first time being plunged into the situation of fifty mile an hour roads, dealing with the presence of wide, heavy goods and agricultural vehicles on roads with minimal lateral clearance, I did a sterling job! I really enjoyed todays lesson!!!

a reply to: HomerinNC

Homer....saw this over on the post a funny piccy thread....and thought of you



@True.....well done matey.....wont be long before there will be another terrorist in charge of a WMD joining our ranks on the roads by the sounds of it!

Rainbows
Jane

Morning peeps! Congrats True on doing a sterling job driving!!

Back to the story...

Night Star, instead of locking up the rum, took it with her. She kept sipping from the bottle as she counted the animals. 21, or was that 22? Um...21...A pixie flew over landing in her hair. She kept trying to untangle the pesky bugger but the pixie was relentless. "What are you doing????" shouted Night. The pixie peeked out from the long silky blonde hair. "I see you have the liquid of the Gods and thought you might like to share some."

Night thought for a minute. "I suppose a few drops won't hurt". She carefully poored some rum into a tiny cup shaped flower for her little friend. They sat for a while on the shore with the wind in their hair and the sun shining down upon them. They watched as the sunlight danced across the crashing waves. "Come on, I have to finish my count and this might take a while." The pixie flew awkwardly in a zig zag pattern and Night Star laughed like hell. She then noticed she was walking like the pixie was flying. "Uh oh. That's not good". she replied. Then she broke into more laughter.

Hey all,

Had a bit of inspiration this morning. Hope you all enjoy


Foss went to the helm, as Night & Jane were admiring the view from the sandy beach...From the sounds of it, the rum had been gotten into, as a pixie almost beamed itself on the mast in it's haphazard, drunken journey, punctuated every now and then by little giggles & hiccups.

Across the still, mirrored surface of the water came wafting a tantalizing order - At least two parties were having a cookout, both seemingly attempting to outdo each other. There was also the smell of burnt meat, but we won't talk about that part in the story.

From another corner, a bit closer, came the slow, smooth notes of a guitarian serenade, singing in praise of the "Rainbow Warriors" being united once again.

Despite all this, foss was most concerned with the bickering that appeared to be coming from a ship farther out than the rest, and with growing wonder, noticed the ship was slowly coming towards the bay. Black sails darted the wind, canons exposed & ready to fire at a moments notice, the Jolly Roger grinning from the captain's hat.

With a dark, booming voice that shook the very air around it, the captain shouted "Release the Kraken!!!". Suddenly, just as foss was about to sound the alarm, a more annoying, more familiar voice spoke up.

"You moron", it said, sing-songing the words, "it's not "Release the Kraken" ". Getting a slightly more nasally tone to the voice, it continued. "You say it with a dramatic pause...Such as **ahem** "Release...The Kraaaken!" ".

"I should have known", foss mused, noticing that others were starting to hear the squabbling over how you were supposed to announce that you were letting out a giant octopus. Every now & then both ways of saying it spilled out off the boat, so it sounded like a pixie with a split personality was trying to find the right way to unleash their pet.

"Pixies, always up to something"


EDIT: I'm surprised no-one else thought to add this line into the story, as we are all pirates. If I had to pick though, Zeus said it right; Davy Jones left too big a pause between "Release" & "The"

As Night Star travelled around the Island, she shared her rum with various animals and they all had quite a time for themselves. Night lifted the empty bottle to her lips. "Why is the rum gone?" she asked disappointedly.

One of the pixies made lots of little braids in Night's hair and added beads and feathers. It looked adorable and Night was pleased. They all stumbled around singing pirate songs. She noticed the sun setting and the breath taking hues of pinks and orange in the sky. Storm, the dragon roasted meat and veggies for them all and later they all curled up along the shore and fell fast asleep. There was a cold wind blowing and Night curled under the wing of Storm for warmth.

a reply to: Gordi The Drummer

Are you attending the TT this year Gordi?

Or is it to touristy for ya?

a reply to: TDawgRex

Hi Dawg....the TT's finish tomorrow...

TT Races

Unfortunately there has been two fatalities this year...

Bob Price and Karl Harris

Rainbows
Jane

a reply to: angelchemuel

There are fatalities every year if I remember correctly. Of course it's bound to happen when you have that many adrenaline junkies in one place. Still sad though.

a reply to: TDawgRex

Hi Dawg,

I Had Prior commitments!! LOL

I LOVE bikes and Bike racing, and would like to go one year - just to say I'd done it.
I'm sure it would be quite a spectacle! But I hate the fact that people get hurt every year (It's like the "Grand National" horse race here, where nearly every year a horse or two has to be put down due to injuries sustained)
I find it really hard to balance in my head the fact that I'd be there for simple entertainment purposes whilst these guys were literally putting their lives on the line. I know that it their choice, but then again - to watch or not is mine! LOL

I have seen bike racing in the flesh at proper racing circuits, and whilst it's still fast and dangerous, it happens in a much more controlled and safer environment. (No Buildings or Dry Stane Dykes to hit for starters!)
I just wish there was a way to make the TT safer without compromising the excitement!

Maybe I'm just a big Wuss!! LOL

G

a reply to: Gordi The Drummer

Not at all Gordi...

The reality is, that if one is going to spectate, one must consider the moral implications of what one is watching. If the aim of the event is to see who rides around a course the fastest, then that aim is not furthered by the death of the participants, rather the opposite.

Let us consider the bullfight. The bull dies at the end of a "successful" fight, after being hobbled and then stuck with sharp sticks, and slaughtered with a small, particularly unmanly sword (bloody effete, pompous, overdressed wannabe swordsmen make me angry). And yet, the excitement of the event is the bull charging the matador, and that part of the event happens while the bull yet lives! Killing, or injuring the bull serves no entertainment purpose therefore, except for to the small number of people who get off watching an animal die in agony.

The death is not the part of the event that makes it worth watching, and therefore, making the events safer, making every effort to keep riders in the TT alive, makes perfect sense.

a reply to: TrueBrit

Well, True, speaking as a former adrenalin junkie, I have a tendency to agree and disagree with your post. I used to jump out of aircraft with 3000 to 5000 other people, at night and at eight hundred feet. (It's called a MASSTAC).

People were almost always injured and often some died due to a malfunction of some sort. But like a idiot...I kept doing it at the time because for one, it was fun. And for two, it was quite the challenge.

Burned in twice myself, due to a parachute failure, but I kept doing it. (BTW, in my stupid youth, I didn't realize that I would be paying for it later...but I do now.)

The guys and gals riding...they're still young and think they're invincible...like I once did.

The Pixies were arguing good naturedly amongst themselves. Dawg looked at the ship in question. "Good thing I'm not aboard that boat he thought."

The smell of burning wafted across his nose and he whirled on Homer. "Flip the meat man! It's burning!"

Homer chuckled..."Relax man, it's the rubbin's ya smell. The heat is low. It's all good."

Dawg relaxed a bit and watched the ship that he thought the Pixie crew were sailing...and it ground ashore.

Dawg looked at the planking below his feet. "Ya buy them books, Ya send them to school, and what do they do? They tear out the pages and eat them."

Time to crank up the tunes in here while I upload some more videos to Youtube!!!!!

Don't you know you gonna shock the monkey??!!

a reply to: TDawgRex

Sheesh Dawg...you realise I am going to have to go looking for a pixie ship for our fleet now don't you!
I think it would be quicker if I got my wand made up!

Gimme....thank you for some Peter Gabriel to wake up to.

Right, I have 2 fleamarket/collectors fairs to do this week end...that's if I still have enough 'stuff' left for Sundays! It's glorious weather here, so I'm off to get the 'stock' loaded, and then finish my cocktail cabinet in the garden and mess about with my Cumbrae wand.

I'll pop back in later.
Rainbows
Jane

So...

We have had a visitor in our store recently. For the last couple of days, a pigeon has been milling about in our street. Ordinarily, the birds we see down here, are seagulls, crows, starlings, robins, and sparrows.

I spied it first on Wednesday in the street, and got down on my haunches so to speak, to look at it more closely, because I was fairly sure I could make out tags on its little legs. Sure enough, it WAS tagged on both legs! I left Shoeburyness for the day shortly after encountering this pigeon, and my sister and I went to town to get a spot of lunch, and function some of the less inspiring elements of life on Earth, like visiting the bank, and what have you. Needless to say, I paid no further heed to the plight of the pigeon, since I assumed it would bugger off in its own due time, in the manner to which birds of that sort are accustomed.

So, when I walked back into work on Thursday morning, I really did not think I would be seeing the pigeon again. I was mistaken. When lunchtime came, I trotted off to the sandwich bar down the street from my workplace, waited while my order was assembled, and came back to our store, in order to walk through from the front to the back door, exit the premises and climb the stairs up to the residential floor above our store. On my way through the office space, just before the back door of our shop, I stopped dead in my tracks, because standing there, dead in the middle of the office, between myself and the back door, was the pigeon.

It had somehow ninja'd its way past my mother at the counter, snuck through the door to the kitchen and office, and taken position three feet from the rear access to the premises!

I announced to my mother "Mother... there appears to be a pigeon in the office." This announcement was met with no small amount of confusion and disbelief, all of which evaporated the moment she stepped in behind me. I told her that I believed this to be a racing pigeon, owing to the tags on its legs, and also the fact that it was a particularly healthy looking pigeon, with clean, neat plumage, and an inquisitive and not at all fearful temperament.

I asked my mother if she would like me to shoo the pigeon out of the back door, but the discussion which resulted from that query lead us to conclude that the pigeon was probably hanging out around here because it was tired, and that she was content to let it be for the moment. I proceeded with my lunch plan as normal, and returned to the shop afterward, to find that the pigeon had been placed inside a cardboard box, which had been modified for the purposes of ventilation, and had been outfitted with a water bowl, and a feed bowl so that the pigeon could eat and drink and rest.

Mother had been on the case, and had discovered (using the identifying marks on the tags) that the bird most likely came over from the southern end of Ireland. She also discovered that the best way to deal with the situation, would be to give the pigeon a couple of days and nights rest, and then take it to the seafront to release it, because that would give it time to regain its energy, and the planned release point would give it immediate access to an easily recongised route home, that being to follow the Thames corridor inland as far as it goes, and then rely on its intricate memory of landmarks between its current location and its originating point, in order to get back home.

So the pigeon is currently sitting in a box behind me, waiting to be taken to the sea front at some point today!

a reply to: TrueBrit

If you get the numbers off its rings, you can call the Pigeon club and they will notify the owner. Your local vets or NSPCA might have their number.

It's worth a try. I wouldn't like to just let it go as it could be well off course and totally disorientated......

Rainbows
Jane.