posted on Oct, 22 2014 @ 08:17 PM
a reply to: SyxPak
a reply to: Night Star
I appreciate the support guys. But I have been smoke free for some time and I was astounded at how easy it was to start smoking again. A cigarette was
always my go to thing when ever I got frustrated and angry. I have been angry a lot this year, mainly at the idiocy of my Government but also what I
perceive to be the idiocy of people here in my area. And I am extremely angry whenever I perceive myself to be an idiot which has happened all to
This past weekend projects frustrations though drove me to buy a pack of smokes before I destroyed my buds garage.
What should have taken a day,
took three days and I saw the obstacles quite clearly early and could not figure a way around them. Which also cost money as well.
The meltdown has been averted for now, but I am still at critical mass for the most part. I have my vape out, and a couple of cheroots for
emergencies. But I know I will be stressed until the 31st, which is payday for me. Things are financially tight right now and I can see the light at
the end of the tunnel.
It's times like this when I get paranoid as every time I get debt free, something happens that throws me right back in the hole. Some times my fault,
some times not. Being in debt is my PTSD, I [SNIP] you not.
Times like this, I can't think straight enough to write as I'm concentrating on other problems and how to fix them.
But I do appreciate the support...and Geez! I haven't even been gone a week!