a reply to: TrueBrit
I've been lurking furiously of late, and have been paying particular attention to True's current situation!
I've thought long and hard about it, and am maybe coming at it from a slightly different perspective, so I've been debating with myself over whether
to post or not... anyways... here's my tuppence (2 cents) worth!
Everyone is shaped by their experiences.
No one goes through life without any good, or any bad experiences.
Life is a mixture, a hotch-potch.
We all have ups and downs (Yes, I know some have more ups than downs, and some more downs than ups!!) but the important thing IMHO, is HOW WE LEARN
FROM and HOW WE USE those experiences.
No matter what lot in life we are given, it is important for our own self-preservation, development, happiness and health, that we make the best of
We cannot grow and develop and improve our lot if we don't learn from our mistakes (and our good decisions as well).
If certain situations prove to be bad for our well-being, then we should naturally gravitate towards avoiding them.
If certain people continually let us down or upset us, then we should avoid them.
If we keep falling for the "wrong type" of potential partner, we should learn to look deeper/further afield, broaden our net so to speak. Take a
second look at someone we normally wouldn't consider for example.
I have known several people personally who seem like they are "stuck in a loop" when it comes to relationships.
But, crucially - they don't seem to be aware of it. They continually make the same mistakes over and over, and then blame the partners that they've
WE ALL CHOOSE who to be with. We go in with our eyes open. We decide, consciously or otherwise! who we commit to, so WE must bear some of the
responsibility for when it all goes wrong.
There is NO WAY of telling whether someone we met is going to be THE ONE.
We have to trust our instincts, but what happens when our instincts have repeatedly let us down before? do we need to start applying other
Take for example the young lady who seemed interested in True a couple of weeks back.
Attractive? Interesting? Exciting? and seemingly Attracted, Interested etc too!
But apparently gets written off and pretty much "character assassinated" by most folks in the shed, because she later kissed a couple of other
people? (Sorry if I've misinterpreted that???)
Lets just clarify a couple of things...
1. She had made no commitment, (that I'm aware of) to True or anyone else, so she can kiss who she wants in my book.
2. She may be Straight, Gay, Bi, Experimenting, into 3-somes.. whatever. That is completely up to her. Also fine in my book.
She is quite young, and may well just be exploring the limits of what appeals to her?
I personally would not write her off so quickly. She sounds confident, attractive and interesting to me, and if there is a suspicion of a "lack of
commitment" from someone like that, then that's fine. Maybe someone in True's shoes doesn't need a high-commitment relationship at this time?
(Given that he's still apparently hurting from being let down before)
Maybe a fun, flirty, low-commitment encounter would be just the ticket?
REAL, deep, meaningful relationships develop where they are often least expected.
It's when we deliberately go looking for them that they rarely work.
I don't get the impression that True is completely happy at the moment.
So, change the routine.
Mix it up a bit.
Choose something completely out of character to do. Try something that you've never ever even considered doing.
You'll challenge yourself, stretch yourself, meet people from outwith your current circle...
At worst it'll take your mind off things.
At best, it could open up a hundred doors for you. New people, new activities, new opportunities.
Break the cycle.
I shall now dismount from my horse on high!!
I really do wish you all the best, as we all do. I hope that I've not come across as too harsh or preachy??
(I can be a bit heavy-handed when I get a bee in my bunnet somethimes!!! LOL)