im surprised by the responses here, it seems most think its right not to tell your loved ones ahead of time and just let it hit them like a ton of
bricks when the day comes round,
posters are saying "why tell them just to have them be sad in your final days?" and just what do you think they are doing by being sad? nothing? they
are mourning, they are mourning the loss of you before you are gone so that it will be easier to let you go when the day comes, they are mentally
preparing themselves, that is the purpose of mourning, it is the mind attempting to adjust to an abrupt change that is not desired.
they are going to mourn you, and the pain they feel in your loss will be the same whether you tell them ahead of time or not, the decision you make to
tell them dictates will they be hit with that pain suddenly and all at once on that day? struggling to get over it as the days go by beyond that? or
will you give them the chance to to handle that pain slowly? in portions spread out in time? so that when the day comes they are not SHOCKED, they are
prepared, not that it wont still hurt them, but that hurt will surely have been dulled by their mental preparation for that day as they had seen it
coming, BECAUSE YOU WARNED THEM OF ITS IMPENDING NATURE.
some people think their loved ones can handle it and thus its better to deal with it quickly, to take the shock and pain all at once as quickly as
but some people cant handle it, it can break them if it is too sudden, it can ruin them for life, breaking their will even their mind, those people
are better off with a chance to deal with it in portions over time, they deal with mourning you while you are still around to help keep them grounded
for hope of experiencing your presence a bit more before the time comes. those type of people are far better off being given a heads up whenever
its your life, and your family, your decision. how best do you think to handle it? will your family benefit from the time to mentally prepare
themselves? or would they be better off with the shock of a sudden reveal that you are already gone?
personally, and no offense meant, this is just my opinion, but i think it is selfish NOT to tell your loved ones that you are near death if you know
it and they do not, you dont want them to know because you want to see them happy in your final days, reread "because YOU
want to see them
happy in your final days" if you tell them they will mourn you while you are still around to witness it, and my oh my how sad it is to have to see
that, why would YOU
want to see that? they are going to have that pain whether you tell them ahead of time or not, the only difference is do
you want to be there to help them through it? or would you rather escape them and leave them to deal with their pain without you? whats more important
to you? your own feelings? or theirs?
the logic of "im doing them a favor by not telling them ahead of time" is nothing more then an excuse the mind is making up to spare itself the
trouble of witnessing them mourning your own impending death. perhaps you dont see it that way, i would then say your mind has made that excuse
tell them ahead of time so that YOU
can HELP THEM
mourn you, so that you can help them let you go before its time, help them
slowly disconnect you from their mind so they are prepared for the final day, rather than having yourself TORN from their mind suddenly on that final
day, preparation will make it a much softer blow. if it hurts to much to see their pain then reinforce your feelings in them, tell them you dont want
them to mourn, you dont want to see them sad, you are there for them but you want these days to be happy, tell them that!
i think there might be to much emotion in my post, sorry if i upset anyone, im a big fan of communication, bit of a pet peeve when i see people
thinking its better not to communicate, no matter the reason.
the first sign a relationship is doomed to fail is when either party feels they cannot always communicate wholly and honestly with the other party. to
be wed in spirit you must also be wed in the mind, this includes complete expression and communication, no exceptions. but we can be a forgiving
species, so even if that hasnt been the case in a relationship in its past, it can survive by experiencing that honesty and openness in intervals, so
long as both parties remain capable of forgiving each other, once thats gone, its pretty much over.
without communication we would be less then apes. cause even apes have some communication,
edit on 5/24/14 by pryingopen3rdeye because: (no reason given)