This is the world we know. This is the one we trust. We've fought hard for what we have and enjoyed it. So when a youngin' comes out and makes a show
of disapproval, you can understand our response. We defend our home. This is what we're. All the bad is outweighed by the good. We love this world;
this life. The youngins' might try to remove the bad and keep the good, but we figure they'll quickly find you can't hold onto the good without
knowing the bad.
I'm one of the youngins'. Unlike you, I don't think the good outweighs the bad. So, have at me. Show your contempt, or just ignore me.
Every pretty girl I see is accompanied by an ugly girl. Every beautiful scene has superimposed on it a gruesome one. Every place of peace I think of a
place of unrest. In every star I see regions of dark all around. Every healthy and vibrant person is shadowed by a crippled and mourning figure. For
every beacon of love there's a bastion of hate. This is my life in this world. I mostly see conflict here. It's as though all good is paid for in
earnest by an token of evil.
I don't believe in a heaven or a better place after death. So one is left with a conundrum. Stay here and get what you can? Or leave and the only
reward is you end your awareness of good and bad? No matter how bad this world might be, is it still better than nothingness? It all depends on how
you respond to things, I guess.
I am selfish. I don't want pain. I don't like bad places or disarray. I realize to earn a good life means we must fight through the bad. Some of us
will thrive on the challenge. It's overcoming which gives us a sense of accomplishemtn. I just feel like my fighting spirit is so much weaker than
normal. I am somehow not made for this world, although I share many of the traits common here.
At some point a person has to decide. To be. To always be between is to not be. Inaction is to have no dignity or being.
I know some people have a tougher life than me. Appealing to my sense of shame is an easy one. However, there's also another side of me which doesn't
run on emotion. I look at the way of the universe. I see numbers, not feelings. How to appeal to that part of me?
Just tired of the tug of war between everything, the yin and yang, selfishness and unselfishness, beauty and ulginess, sin and salvation. The constant
struggle to attain and overcome repeated endlessly. Death, it would appear, is the only way out of it.
I know this is unattractive. I didn't come to this thread to just blend in. I came to state my thoughts as they stream out.
edit on 5-10-2014
by jonnywhite because: (no reason given)