You know about trying to fall in love

Hey ATS some really serious stuff happened interupted my life and made sleep hard and shook certain things I look at hopes dreams etc in regards to who I am, where I been, What I have done. You know I am a 28 yr old American Boy former Marine now I weld and want to be a builder of stuff I suppose. Had a strange life changing event as a citizen now I am questioning why haven't I found love yet I almost think at this point I am so closed away also so scared to say things at the same time. IDK ATS any regards, information, or advice? I am curious been here for awhile and as always love this community!

B-Man

You can't rush love ! Enjoy you're single hood until you find the right one, or they find you.

a reply to: Meldionne1

only things coming my way look like death been very depressed about things that have to be done, I am not rushing anything I may be dead sooner then later without knowing, IDK what it should be about at the minimum

a reply to: Brotherman


Love finds you my friend.

Here's my advice. Start going out to places you actually REALLY enjoy going and could go by yourself.

Then, at those events or places, chat some girls ( or guys whichever you prefer) up and you immediately have something in common.

Outside of that Sir, you really just need to expose yourself to a lot of people that may interest you. Finding that person you want and need is usually more hard work than most people want to put in.

~Tenth

a reply to: tothetenthpower

yeah normally if i was a normal kid unfortunatley i have taxes and all kinds of other bull# that require me to be out of town and weld all day and night, and the llc that has me welding also says its legit to pay less and eff off and people die in my house. I want to believe so much it is that easy. I want to be dead or homeless again, im a phucking wreak

a reply to: Brotherman

Oh well listen, if your day to day is kicking your ass, then change it.

If you have qualifications, which it seems like you do, then you CAN change your life and make it way less hectic if you choose to.

It won't be easy mind you and you'll probably need to relocate. Sounds like you're in need of a change of scenery anyway.

Never let the details ruin the big picture.

Just change the Big Picture and the details will fix themselves.

~Tenth

a reply to: tothetenthpower

Im just tired and your right I need to go away change of scenery problem is other depend on me and they are not my kids a bunch of really old people. Pound for pound on war campaign after campaign and every collegete course athelte etc not a damn thing ever mattered its hard for ppl without guidence you have to pay for to really make up your mind when you just have to do something. sometimes its very cold dreaming about telling your self to stay calm and wake up find yourself at early morning hours, counslers tell you stop drinking you don't have a beer in months draw paint weld nothing helps read 28-32 books a month it doesnt matter, damn things your supposed to be good at are not even good enough and cause and effect prove their nature time and time again no matter what you do. It isn't as easy

Life throws you curve balls...it's all in how you handle it. If something's not working for you, then change it. Only you can do that...only you can truly make changes for you. It sounds like You need to fix a few things in your life first to be happy,......after that ....love will find it's way....but if you think love will fix it all now, ....you are wrong. Love is a relationship of work. It can be great and it can be cruel...you must love yourself first, before you can give love to another.

a reply to: Meldionne1

work pays taxes pays for fuel work doesnt buy what I am looking for

a reply to: Brotherman

It is hard to get out from under a bad monetary spot....yes agreed...you just have to keep plunking away, or change your job...but if it's love your looking for, you can't buy love either. Unfortunately with love, it happens when it is right...and until then, all else is settling....never settle.

a reply to: Meldionne1

money isn't my issue i used to be homeless i don't have a money problem certain things happened recent just makes a guy think.

Perhaps a vacation is what you need . Some time to yourself to reflect and breathe.

a reply to: freedomSlave

wish i could afford one

I'm sorry for the spot you're in... I have been there truly, there is no good advice to give accept to take others advice seriously sometimes... I was in a rut and I would just listen to what people had to say and they made it seem so easy, actually getting out and doing it is scary as hell for someone in that position.. I either got lucky or it was me reaching out to someone that caught their attention, love is not always going to find you, if you want it sometimes you have to go out and look everyday of your life until you find it....

a reply to: jheated5

some kid died on my living room floor last friday (apparently on life support as of yesterday) my sleep hasnt been well and been thinking about alot of things that probably don't make any sense never met the kid before in life just literally ran into my house to die. I dont feel rational and I do not feel ok havent been for quite a bit

originally posted by: Brotherman
a reply to: jheated5

some kid died on my living room floor last friday (apparently on life support as of yesterday) my sleep hasnt been well and been thinking about alot of things that probably don't make any sense never met the kid before in life just literally ran into my house to die. I dont feel rational and I do not feel ok havent been for quite a bit

That's pretty scary considering I know someone who did exactly that on friday, not my house but this person was almost a brother in law and ran onto someones porch to die. Apparently he got beaten to death and a blow to the head that cracked his skull and did brain damage to kill him. I wouldn't want to be the person who opened the door and had to call the cops or ambulance to find him.. That's not an easy thing to get out of your head I'd imagine.

My case I tried to save his life I never called police everyone else did my life's been a worse kind of hell since

originally posted by: Brotherman
My case I tried to save his life I never called police everyone else did my life's been a worse kind of hell since

At least you can say you did what you could to try and save someone but sometimes when it's someones time to go there's nothing you can do about it. It doesn't make you less of a good person for not actually saving him, you did what you could when other people might have not, you shouldn't feel ashamed or guilty for trying to do the right thing and failing at something that was out of your hands...

a reply to: Brotherman

I remember that thread .. I hope you are not blaming yourself in anyway shape or form . I can see it being a long week for you . I stand by what I said and think you need need a break a vacation doesn't need to cost much just take a break from work some alone time . Worst case talk to some one about it that can help you .

I am sorry that you have had to experience that last week .. stay strong life will works it self out

Sorry you're having such a hard time right now B-Man.

When it comes to love, the true, never ending, cannot imagine my life without him/her kind of love, it happens when it is supposed to happen. That's what I believe anyway.

I am a huge believer in fate. When we try and manipulate fate, things usually don't go so well.

In the mean time, keep focusing on yourself, get things settled down, and relax. As far as places to meet people, you could look online for like a Meet Up group that interests you. Ask friends if they have any single friends, go to weddings...there's always single ladies at weddin's! Idk about online dating (Thank You, God!) but I've heard good and bad stories.

Anyhow, you'll find "her" when you're supposed to. It might take a hot minute, it might be tomorrow, but it'll happen if you let it.

When you do find her, give her your heart and soul but don't smother her, have a backbone but don't be a complete a-hole, DEFINITELY don't try and control her but let her have her space, and trust her unless she gives you a really good reason not to.

This is, in a very brief nutshell, how my hubby treats me. Now, some women like to be smothered and are all needy...I'd stay away from those types if I were you. I am independent, like my alone time, and cannot deal with anyone trying to control me. I consider myself very lucky and I brag about him ALL the time, lol! We're coming up on our 12 year anniversary soon and I cannot imagine my life without him, it actually hurts my heart to think about it. He's so good to me, sometimes I pinch myself because I don't always deserve it...

That's all I got for now.

Oh, and remember: A Happy Wife Makes a Happy Life!