Rape and Mens Passive Acceptence

I have put a lot of thought into if I should post this or not, but it has been bugging me for a long time and I just need to get this rant out there because I am really curious and quite frankly a little pissed about it.

Yes, the subject is rape as the title has alluded too. I actually have two rants about it. Feel free to address either one.

For the life of me I just dont understand how men can be so two sided about it. Yes, before everyone goes off on me, I realize not all men, but, for this rants sake, I'd say the percentage is on my side of how many actually tolerate it in a passive way.

Now what could I possibly mean by that? Passive way? How many times have threads come up on this site about someone in the news being raped? Countless threads. How often Do we read the response of, "If it was my daughter, I'd blah blah the sob." Yes, if it was
"Your daughter."

Can someone then please explain to me why there is really no action taken beyond outrage for anyone else's daughter, sister, mother, and yes sadly even someones grandmother? Oh yes, that is for the court to decide, good they caught him, let Bubba deal with him in prison, I hope he gets what he deserves. A shame it had to happen to that poor girl.

Outrage? Yes. Action taken after the fact? None. Why not before the fact?

I realize that it is a crime and it is for the justice system to take its due course, but my rant is, why do men not let it be known amongst themselves that it just ISN'T ACCEPTABLE TO BEGIN WITH? The old boys club, boys will be boys. All is fair in war. WTH?

How often do we hear of cases of gang rape? There's always that one guy that joined in because he was afraid what the other guys would do to him if he didnt. What's up with that? Is this just a case of a boy with no balls? Certainly can't call himself a man now can he?

Why do men not, as a collective let it be known amongst their peers that this just isnt acceptable beyond the public stance, wink wink? I dont get it.

Please explain this too me guys. How do you as a collective explain how you have let this go on with your own for eons of time? Why do you wait to get mad until it is one of your own family or friend?

My one other rant, concern, is why on earth would we unleash such a drug as Viagra or anything similar on a populace that cant control itself on a normal day? I cant help but wonder how many rapes have occurred just because some guys date planning didnt go exactly as planned and he had to release that frustration somehow.

Yes, I get all the arguments that women can be a tease or whatever excuse you may want to use, but there is still no excusing a out right wrong. Im sick of boys will be boys, I want to know when Men will be Men again and not just talk the talk and look the other way. I want to know when Men will be Men and let the little boys know that it is not acceptable anymore in any kind of form.

This can also include child sexual abuse as well. This madness has to stop and quite frankly, it is up to you the MEN to stop it. Or, is a true Man something of the past and only exist in Hollywood movies now?

Just for the record? No, I have not

Just castrate rapists and sooner or later the raping will stop.

a reply to: onehuman

I dont think that there is an underlining rape culture to men. Everyone I have met is generally pretty straight forward about it. KIll em all.

I think deviants and people of both sexes who like the idea of rape find each other like anything else.

I think its just always going to be part of human nature. Its not just up to men to stop it. Women have a part to play as well. The justifications for it do come from all sides. "she deserved it or ended having it happen because of blah blah blah".

I am with those that say "kill em all". Over sensitive people need to step back and let that happen I think. There will be instances where it happens but "death" is a pretty convincing argument against trying so I think it would happen less.

What about women? over a hundred million of you in 'Merica. The outrage from women should be enough but not enough of you are vocal about it either. Rape isn't a one way street either in that respect or that only women get raped.

originally posted by: Antipathy17
What about women? over a hundred million of you in 'Merica. The outrage from women should be enough but not enough of you are vocal about it either.

Oh, so if raped women were more vocal about it, it would somehow stop men from raping? "When are women going to take responsibility for being raped", huh?

Jesus!

Hmm....Do you think maybe mothers are failing to convey how and why they should respect women to their sons?
Do you think some women stay with horribly abusive men 'for the sake of the kids', while 'the kids' learn a totally dysfunctional life style?
How about judges who tend to give rapists/child molesters minimal suspended sentences?
Don't a lot of families have an uncle or grandpa that's such a wonderful guy- but you have to whisper "Don't let your little girls sit on his lap"......
Nothing new is happening, other than it getting more attention.
Rape and child molestation has nothing to do with sex, love or passion. It's a crime of violence/control/dominance/fear/power and pain.
People are broken, and as your children fill their time watching violent movies and playing violent video games their tolerance for violent behavior increases.
The laws need to change, and parenting skills need to evolve to be effective in this new age.

a reply to: Antipathy17
Seriously??? I'd laugh if that wasn't such a sad statement. You are saying American women aren't outraged enough to make a difference?

American women are the power women of the world now and it is up to us to stop this? We can't even be considered for equal pay and you think our concerns and outrage about Rape would change the situation in the world??? Really???

Sigh....

trollololol

a reply to: Benevolent Heretic

Considering how many rapes go unreported by women, ya I'd say they aren't being vocal enough. Pretty bad when American women are the voice for empowerment of most of the world and yet 60% of rapes go unreported.
www.rainn.org...




As far as equal pay is concerned. What % of people are fighting against or disagree with equal pay? I bet most of any percentage stated would be of rich employers who want to pay people as little as possible, not just women. And the majority of Americans are probably for equal pay. How many people have you ever heard say women don't deserve equal pay?

a reply to: onehuman
I think the best example I've ever seen on the "rape" issue that is almost never breached because of the taboo surrounding it is a poster with a woman crying while sitting on the edge of a bed.
The caption on the poster reads, "just because you regret it, does not mean it was rape".
I got a deserved reputation for being a woman hater as I would not play their games.
What none of them ever realized, I like women, not silly stupid girls.
It is not a crime for a woman to mess with a guys head.

a reply to: onehuman

I am a woman....but if my family was threatened or harmed in anyway shape or form I would act upon it!
The fact I wouldn't probably do the same for every similar case or story I heard about just reflects the fact I am not a vigilante...I'm guessing it's the same for men.

I'm not actually sure what you are implying???
I don't actually know any groups of men who tolerate and accept rapists? If the subject is brought up they vocalise quite the opposite. Infact convicted rapists in prisons for example often have to be protected and segregated for their own safety from other in-mates because they are considered extreme low life's.

You are a foolish and very sexist person... Rape has been happening all throughout history and hasn't changed regardless of what form social justice has taken.

Women commit these acts too so why don't you women take a collective stance on that and put an end to it?

I am not responsible for anyone's actions but my own. I can not sit there watching every person I know at all times to make sure they ain't sneaking off to go rape people. Just not possible


YOU CAN BLAME MEN AS A WHOLE ALL YOU WANT BUT THE REALITY OF IT IS WOMEN NEED TO PROTECT THEMSELVES. IT IS A WOMAN'S RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP HERSELF FROM BEING A VICTIM. JUST LIKE IT IS AN INDIVIDUALS RESPONSIBILITY TO LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE CROSSING THE STREET.

# happens regardless. The world is a dark and scary place regardless of all our fancy lights.

a reply to: onehuman

you failed to address the women who rape and abuse other women, and the women who rape and abuse children. you should probably address the entire issue not just a portion of it

a reply to: onehuman

I'm the most liberal guy ever and this OP is ridiculous. That's like saying sympathisers of woman who killed there children are the norm and it's up
To the women of the world to police them.....


The reason people say " if they did that to my daughter" is because they are internalizing it. They are putting there daughters face on the victims body. No not mentally questionable people condone rape. Sounds like your putting your personal opinion of men onto all men... Or at least most of us.

a reply to: onehuman

I find it kinda funny that your the same as the men who ask if she teased him or made it all up.

You have the same distrust of men they have for women.

originally posted by: Antipathy17
a reply to: Benevolent Heretic

Considering how many rapes go unreported by women, ya I'd say they aren't being vocal enough. Pretty bad when American women are the voice for empowerment of most of the world and yet 60% of rapes go unreported.
www.rainn.org...

Confessed Rapist gets 45 Days

“The truth is that he admitted that he sexually assaulted her, that she did not give consent, that she said 'no' and we certainly believe that no means no in these cases.”

Judge's Sentence

I wonder if this sort of thing might be the cause of "60%" of rapes going unreported.



Onehuman, I understand what you're trying to say. I simply don't have any answers.


J

Attacking me and calling me different things or assuming I think in certain ways doesn't really address the issue I presented.

I am highly aware of the fact that there are all kinds of rapes from all corners. I tried not to make a mile long thread as much seems to get lost even when it is short.

I could have started back in the day of the caveman clubbing the woman and dragging her off for his, but I guess some will just say that is hearsay and can't prove it.

It was mentioned that it is up to the woman to be able to defend herself against it. Great, all women become Laura Croft over night?

It was quoted over 60% of rape goes unreported. Hmmm I wonder why? After all, we all know how fair and balenced the system is.

How many service women don't speak up I wonder? Hmmm career threat? Other threats? Probably holds true for a lot of other women as well.

I agree with whoever mentioned it should start at the family core and that we have reached a serious point of lack these days in that department.
I also concur with the point of castration as punishment plain and simple. I think that would help detour a bit of the problem over time.

You can call me a sexist or a man hater or whatever all you want, doesn't make it the truth. You don't even know me to make that judgment. You can't go by what I have written because that would require reading everything I have ever written on this site to even begin to formulate a true assent of what my feelings may be. I'm guessing no one has time for that though, so save your judgments and assumptions.

If you really read what I was asking, it was basically why do we need to wait for Bubba and his buddies in prison to deal with it and teach the lesson? You know your frat pals or whomever are going to do something wrong,why don't you let them know it is unacceptable instead of looking the other way?

Laws differ from state to state, but they are far to lenient in all states.
Judges tend to be far too lenient in sentencing.
Cases drag on for years before even getting to court, because the more time that has passed has been proven to lesson the chance of conviction.
With a first offense only resulting in a slap on the wrist, after the pure torture of repeated depositions and last-minute canceling of court dates, it's obvious the court system-and the law- is designed to protect perpetrators.
The connection between those in power and alleged inappropriate sexual activity should be a major clue as to what is going on behind the scenes.
Shiite rolls downhill......

a reply to: onehuman

you act like there are secret dude meetings were we all get together and discuss how women should be treated when and how society should deal with certain issues. If you ever listened in on a dude party its usually talking about games movies and work, Jokes and ball busting, and sometimes we even get into philosophy. My question of the day at work the other day(all male kitchen staff) was if one was to pleasure themselves and then used a live sea sponge to clean up the mess is it considered bestiality?

the bar staff who is mostly dudes have a book club were they discuss books. never once have i been to a dude gathering were we discuss serious issues, i mean they do come up but never is it a reason to meet at a certain place and time, i think you may be living in a fantasy world were you think dudes collectively believe rape is ok, that is not how it is, so get over it.

"If you really read what I was asking, it was basically why do we need to wait for Bubba and his buddies in prison to deal with it and teach the lesson? You know your frat pals or whomever are going to do something wrong,why don't you let them know it is unacceptable instead of looking the other way?"

Because most people don't want to turn into the animal they're trying to teach. I'm speaking from the standpoint of a "sensitive" guy though. It's literally beyond measure how anyone could do this so you relate by taking the point of view of a relative. Some people don't have the knack for teaching hard facts to these SOBs, and so you support as best you can but stand back when push comes to shove.

I think thats the closest I can get to providing one part of the answer...