The life of times of Hillbilly Ryan Part 1

It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly a shot rang out and the Butler fell dead. The Cook fainted, the Maid screamed, and the Chauffer became violently ill. Of course none of this had anything to do with Gaptooth Ryan Jenkins, the huckleberry of KinBang Tennessee, presiding President of the “Sister sharing club”, and Grand PooBah of the “My Uncle’s Brother, or plain old Dad” lodge.



Gaptooth Ryan had just finished weed eating his living room when his best friend, Slackjaw Tom came runnin’ over, sweaty and all excited. “Hey Rahn, Rahn”. He yelled in his utterly ridiculous accent. “Y’all ain’t never gone guess what I just sawed by Gum, Y’ain’t never!” “Calm down Tawm, jest git yerself calmed down” Gaptooth Ryan yelled at the top of his lungs for some reason. Y’all knowed I cain’t unnerstan you when y’all run your gums so speedily”

“Ah shore do don’t meanta” Slackjaw Tom replied “It be jest that ah Sawed sumtin outtin in them thar woods over thar”

“Not yonder woods I’s hope” squeaked Gaptooth Ryan “Y’all know them thar woods is haunted! Why, none other than the ghost of Betty Crocker lives in them thar woods. An’ she sho nuff ain’t no friendly haint, why, we done found a bunch of her chocolate chips in them woods and they taste powerful bad Tawm, powerful bad, ‘specially them fresh uns that’re still warm”

a reply to: mymymy

Nice
I love the accents you used
And the ending made me smile big

a reply to: natalia

Thanks I usually try to be as absurd as possible on here

a reply to: mymymy

Ah's do luvs me a gud spun yarn.

Whenas you gonna spun Pert Two?

Utterly ridiculous accent? Has anyone who visited NY ever said that? lol

Good story, though.

a reply to: mymymy

This is awesome!

Gaptooth Ryan made me laugh, really enjoyed it.