Parents of ATS: I need your help...In a desperate way, I need your help!

originally posted by: ThePublicEnemyNo1
a reply to: MagesticEsoteric

"I'd agree with the statement, it does seem like he wants to be older than he truly is. In my opinion, from what I've read, it doesn't so much seem like he doesn't understand or doesn't comprehend that you love him, but it seems to me that he needs to understand his privilege(edit). It would be beneficial in my mind to help him understand who he is, and what he wants to do, but guide him in such a way that allows him to discover himself. There is also a possibility that he has something on his mind, or something troubling him. In many cases, people, not only children, will bully others because they themselves are either stressed, jealous, or nervous about something. Personally, I don't know him, but this sounds like it may be the case. Talk to him, and pry a bit if you have to, but don't try to force him to talk if he doesn't want to. As for the aggressive outbreaks, I don't quite understand the magnitude of it, but I'm to assume that it would most likely be punching, kicking, etc. As for this, I agree with disciplining a child, be it by removal of privilege or by force. Obviously, one does not have to a beat a child, but anything you may find fit to enforce the idea that he has no right to strike anyone without reason. However, this could also return to him just having a rebellious streak. Perhaps he needs to be shown new things, other than sports. Try introducing him to music and instruments. Perhaps he simply needs to express himself. Hopefully my advice may help you. Best of wishes to you and your family, and I hope that all goes well in your endeavors."

Okay, so my 15 year old son just wrote that. I asked him to come and read the thread and I then asked his opinion. His opinion is exactly quoted above. he typed it himself.

Obviously, I'm a parent, but there are sometimes things parents can not comprehend, things we just don't get. So my son gave is honest 15 year old opinion. He went on to tell me that sometimes when people are being bullied they release their anger, anxiety and/or stress on other people. He went on to say that "Sometimes the biggest of bullies have been bullied themselves".

So, that's it. I don't really have anything to add. I didn't have this issue with any of my four children...my 15 year old son being the youngest. I have three grown daughters. I did have different issues with two of my daughters while they were in high school. One of my daughters has a famous father and she told a friend of hers in high school. Once her story spread she got bullied. The odd thing about this daughter was that she fought back before ever telling us what was going on at school. She was an honor roll student who did get suspended that one time for fighting. But... she did fight the bullies back and yes there were several. My other daughter, received scholarships to attend an all girl private high school after having a congressional acknowledgement by Congressman Adam Schiff (she went on to receive a US Congress Academic Award upon graduating from a public high school). After her sophomore year at this all girl school and even after being the athletic MVP as a freshman, she did everything she could to get expelled from this school. She did get expelled and ended up graduating from a public school. I have one daughter who never gave me any problems and she's graduating college from a public California University on Saturday. The daughter that got expelled from the private school graduates from Temple University next year and the daughter that got bullied dropped out of college and now runs her own business...she's very successful.

My husband and I both thought that we were giving our children everything. I remember the beginnings of My Space and how awful I thought that was for my girls. Now, I have to worry about Face Book and every other social media outlet in regards to my 15 year old son who thus far, has never ever done anything wrong (keeping my fingers crossed).

Many of the times, it's never your fault as a parent. All you can do, is do your best with what you have and protect your children....just don't overprotect them. Reality for an 11 year old nowadays IMVHO is good as long as it's supervised.

The days of shielding our children from reality are over. You better let them know what the hell is out there before they learn it the hard way.

This again is only the opinion of myself and my 15 years old son. His opinion is highlighted and quoted.

I hope this helps you out. If there's anything I can do, please let me know via private message.


Love,

TPE & 15 Year Old Son


ETA
I forgot that when my son was in kindergarten, he was bullied. His father and I told him after getting no resolution from the principal, to go to school the next day and knock that kid down on his ass...he did, was reprimanded and continued on with his normal education. This may sound mean but to us as parents, it was the only way to handle a bully. My son has had the same set of friends since kindergarten and in my opinion they're all pretty normal boys, most of them are straight A students. We had to use ruff justice since the school did nothing. That's how our parents raised us and so be it. I believe in fighting back when you get no help. My son differs....I'm old school though.


The other kids parents removed their son from the school...we have never seen him since. As a matter of fact, the other boys mother was on the PTA!

Please tell your son that I truly appreciate his input....I also thank you.

Your son is wise beyond his years!

Wow!

You have obviously done an amazing job in raising him so...I also thank you as well.

Other than that...I'm left speechless.

originally posted by: ThePublicEnemyNo1
a reply to: TinkerHaus

Uh...yeah, my 15 year old did write that.

I have nothing more to say to you.

ETA
Actually, I do have more to say to you...I can't let that ridiculous comment by you slide. If it bothers you that I have a child that is able to read this OP and then comprehend another child's troubles and pains, then maybe you should pay attention to society a tad bit more since you would "Bet Moneys On IT". I'll take your money all day. Where do I place my bet?

I'm insulted that you or anyone else would think that I would make an attempt to "trick" another member in such a way. Thank you though for admiring my son who is endowed with wisdom and acknowledging his compassion.

It's interesting that your 15 year old child writes with the exact same mannerisms that you do. Very interesting indeed.

I'm just trying to figure out why you would do that in the first place. =]

To the few posters that suggested that this was the wrong site to bring up this topic:

MY SINCERE APOLOGIES!

You were all right.

I wasn't thinking clearly at the time and I really should have known better.

I'm more overwhelmed by reading the responses than I was to begin with....again, I apologize.

Some things are better left being private.

I still truly appreciate the time that everyone took posting to this thread but, I realize that this is an issue that I need to deal with on my own.

You guys ROCK! and I really do appreciate all of your advice but, this is something I should have never brought here.....

My bad.

Thread closed as far as I'm concerned.

a reply to: MagesticEsoteric

Thats a difficult one... I do not know the boy and I am not a specialist. So, in my opinion is to consult a proffesional, who knows the trade the best thing you can do.

I know this is hard beyond words for you. What some times happens is people who are involved get locked into a loop and cannot see any way out. Its important that you talk to a professional and perhaps they can help you see new ways of helping your child. Its so easy to fall into guilt that you have done wrong but if you do then you lose the ability to help him. I think best is to go talk to a professional.
Keep strong for you and your family