Chuffin stop using "retarded" as an insult..grrr

a reply to: boymonkey74

This one hit home for me. I must admit, when I was younger, I did use the word as an insult. That was until my autistic cousin opened my eyes. I'd like to share my experience in hopes that it changes some minds on using the word as it did mine.

One day while having a conversation with him about music (his passion), he cut our convo short to ask me a question. He asked me.(with a confused look on his face)."What does retard mean?" What I felt at the moment was almost inexplicable. I was shocked at the question coming from him. So many things came to mind as to why he asked & I couldn't come up with an answer. He then replied "...I know, I know" & walked away. I felt disgusted at myself for ever using that word, haven't used it since.

Everytime I hear someone using it as an insult I feel how the op feels. You can't control what comes out of everyone's mouth. What I can say is, for those that do use the word, is that maybe if you were really close to someone that's autistic or mentally disabled..you would feel different about the word.

This whole thread is gay.

People need to chill out and stop worrying about what other people do and worry about themselves. People say and do stupid stuff every day. Get used to it or you will give yourself a heart attack.

And, yes, I called this thread gay because it isn't pc. Deal with it.

originally posted by: watchitburn
a reply to: boymonkey74

It's just a word. Words only have the power that you allow them.
It's a sad state of affairs when people get all worked up about sounds coming out of someone's mouth.

This culture of sensitivity and political correctness is getting out of hand in my opinion. Where does it end? People are actually being fined and imprisoned over words. When was the thought police established, because that's the end result of stuff like this. I don'tremember ever reading about a right to not be offended.

I understand your position Mr. Monkey, but I have to disagree.

If you don't like something, don't listen.

It is one thing for an able person to shrug off or ignore insults, but when it comes to the insults being aimed at someone who could not defend themselves even if they wanted to, then that's a different story. He is defending the helpless person he went shopping with.

There are few things that make me angrier than to witness someone pick on someone who is helpless, or to witness someone making fun of someone about something that the victim cannot help (physical/mental handicaps, the way they look, etc.)

Good job, boymonkey, for speaking up for someone who is unable to speak up for themselves.

a reply to: boymonkey74

So, when a word is utilised to describe a human condition, you think it should not be used to describe other people. The word retarded can suggest mental, physical, even an idea can be retarded. It is a useful word that has been used for a long time. People joke about not having teeth, I lost mine in a accident. I don't get offended when people just assume I was a crack head. People say silly things all the time. Op included. Its life. PC is destroying our freedoms. We need to toughen up a little and crying about normal things we are all guilty of.

a reply to: boymonkey74

I think you are seeing this only as someone who works in the field of mental health. You may need to step back a little for perspective.

People use it like they do other words. They are just words until we empower them internally.

Saying something is "lame" may be expressed with "gay", or any such example...dont want to go off more than necessary here.

Really I agree with you when someone uses it to insult a mentally handicapped person. Thats terrible.

If they are referring to something being absurd, or poorly thought out...slow witted...ect...then its not an insult.

Its only insulting at that point if you stand to be counted.

originally posted by: greavsie1971
a reply to: boymonkey74
PC is destroying our freedoms. We need to toughen up a little

Yeah.

I agree with you.

its getting to be "absurd".

Reatrded when used in its correct form can be directed at a person quite correctly. Like I said above... it can be used to describe an idea, comment, mental or physical condition.

Firstly, I thought retarded was not to be used anymore to describe a permanent handicap. So why is it still insulting people?

Secondly, Why OP are YOU still linking this word with people with disabilities? YOU are making that association, not necessarily the person saying the word......what does that tell us???

Should we stop use of a word because it was ONCE used to describe a negative human condition and as we see from the OP, some people still use that association. This thread is keeping that association alive in peoples heads. This is not helping at all.

The people who still make this association in their heads (usually the offended ones who are not 'retarded' themselves) are the very same people who complain about its association with disabilities. Whereas, when I use the word, Im just using a word that best suits what im trying to describe and I dont get images of disabled people in my thoughts every time when I hear the word.

a reply to: boymonkey74

Yeah i hear ya boy monkey.
its like that other insult, calling someone 'gay' for whatever stupid reason.
The IQ level of the world seems to be dropping at an alarming rate

originally posted by: SecretKnowledge
a reply to: boymonkey74

Yeah i hear ya boy monkey.
its like that other insult, calling someone 'gay' for whatever stupid reason.
The IQ level of the world seems to be dropping at an alarming rate

What has IQ got to do with it?

Its about perception, nothing more.

Funny how you complain about insults then end with one aimed at most of humanity.. Classic.

a reply to: watchitburn

I was drunk when writing the rant.
I understand what you are saying but to me the "R" word is like the "N" word for people with learning disabilities.
It just isn't right to use it as a slur....it is like people calling things "gay" when they mean it is rubbish.

things like this are going to happen

grow a thicker skin

a reply to: boymonkey74

I do use retarded in a negative light sometimes.

BUT

I don't think of people with mental impairments as retarded. I don't use the phrase to refer to them.

To me that different too the insult.

I use Retarded to refer to someone who does something stupidly dangerous or criminally stupid. Ie "American cops are retarded".

What I don't use is the "person in the wheel chair is retarded."

I used to know a down syndrome guy, IQ about 50. Would never call or even think of him as retarded. He was mentally impaired. On the other hand I have a IQ of 135, hold a degree in biology and I ate a chair leg as a drunk dare.....I would call me retarded

People that cant help it are handicapped; people that can help it are retarded.

a reply to: boymonkey74

Like others have said, it's just a word used to describe something retarded. More often than not, it's not associated with the people you helped take care of. As an example, I'm not homophobic, and have gay friends. But I do call people who annoy me fags. The South Park episode about harley riders is a good example of what I mean.

Plus, here's what's funny. My g/f used to work for a place around here that helps take care of people with special needs, very similar to where you work. What cracks me up is quite a few of those people with special needs, use the word "retarded" to describe something that's, well, retarded.

Words evolve, and can only harm you if you give them power. Also, my nephew is a child with special needs, just in case anyone decides to think that I'd have a different opinion if someone in my family was like that.

I get a bit more specific and use "Libtard" so as not to offend the actual.. um.. developmentally disabled.

Retarded is not actually "slang" for a mentally disabled person.

Retrded means delayed or not as advanced.

The timing on a car's engine is measured as retarded or advanced depending on whether the spark comes before or after when the piston reached top dead center in the cylinder in it's movement.

Calling a person retarded wasn't meant to be a derogatory thing it just meant that their learning level was "retarded" or not as advanced as a person with normal learning abilities. Retarded was a way to describe their mental state or learning abilities.

originally posted by: acacko
things like this are going to happen

grow a thicker skin

You must be speaking from years of experience.

There is nothing wrong with "retarded" or any other word. The problem is bullying.

Ill shamelessly call a thing retarded. A person on the other hand......

Im not giving up any more words. I use them responsibly.

a reply to: boymonkey74

At some point we have to come to terms with words meaning more than one thing.

I guess it all depends on the context... I don't know.

Our entire family used to use the word "retarded" all the time. We never directed it at individuals, we just used it to make fun of things that we thought were silly.

When my son ended up in Special Education due to permanent brain damage (due to an injury), we all went WAY overboard in the other direction to NOT use that word anymore, so as not to hurt the child's feelings or draw any extra attention to his problems.

Now my son (the one with the brain damage) is back to using it again. I hate the way it sounds, now that I've had to deal with a special needs child of my own, but I guess if the kid with the brain damage wants to use it and isn't offended by it, what right do I have to stigmatize that word for him?

I reckon that so long as he isn't offended by it and sees it as funny, he won't be offended when inevitably someone hurls it straight at him personally. I'd rather he laughed at them and waltzed on by than to break down in tears...