Chuffin stop using "retarded" as an insult..grrr

i work with people with learning difficulties and the other day I was out shopping with a guy with autism whom can not communicate and his senses are more to do with sensory touch and sounds more than us and anyhow he and I were walking down a road and some kids called him retarded as an insult. I told them to # right off before I give em a clout round t' earhole. My service user was unaware of what happened but we had a great time anyhow .
But I am sick of people on ATS and in general life calling stuff retarded...just because people are born different from us or have an accident or illness which effects their brain it doesn't give anyone the right to use that word as an insult.
These dudes have every right to have the choice in what they do in their lives and are given that choice even though it may be hard understanding their choice.
It just makes me wince and growl every time I hear it used as an insult when some of these "retarded" people are some of the brightest buttons I know.

a reply to: boymonkey74

It's just a word. Words only have the power that you allow them.
It's a sad state of affairs when people get all worked up about sounds coming out of someone's mouth.

This culture of sensitivity and political correctness is getting out of hand in my opinion. Where does it end? People are actually being fined and imprisoned over words. When was the thought police established, because that's the end result of stuff like this. I don'tremember ever reading about a right to not be offended.

I understand your position Mr. Monkey, but I have to disagree.

If you don't like something, don't listen.

a reply to: boymonkey74

So... is "Chuffin" the name of the guy you hit?

a reply to: boymonkey74

Slurs have a tendency to become common place as people try to make them not a big deal. The whole time to the people it concerns, it still hurts. It takes a public reminder of the pain a slur causes to make it forbidden again. For a short while, people will take it too far and have a public burn fest of offenders. Shortly after people will again insist the slur has alternative meanings or intents and use it regularly.

To me the ones with chromosome diseases are not a mistake, they are examples of our flexible genetic pool trying to find new possible adaptions. Handicap individuals tend to be the most real, uncomplicated, appreciative and truthful stereotype. People fear or are indifferent to that which is uncontrollably different. Its a shame.

I'll start calling flame retardant materials 'flame special needs.' I am being facetious. It's not nice to pick on people. You sound like a good person. Don't let those who are enlightenment handicapped drag you to their level.

a reply to: Cuervo

Chuffin, as I understand, is slang for the F bomb. So when he says chuffin what he means is well... you know.

Ultimately, while I agree with the sentiments of boymonkey, I have to side with watchitburn on this one. Anyone anywhere ever can call me whatever colorful insult their feeble mind can muster, let them. Words are wind.

It really is silly to get bent over words, that, however, is not to say the buffoon using the words does not rightly deserve that clout round t' ear.

Kallisti

originally posted by: boymonkey74
i work with people with learning difficulties and the other day I was out shopping with a guy with autism whom can not communicate and his senses are more to do with sensory touch and sounds more than us and anyhow he and I were walking down a road and some kids called him retarded as an insult. I told them to # right off before I give em a clout round t' earhole. My service user was unaware of what happened but we had a great time anyhow

.
But I am sick of people on ATS and in general life calling stuff retarded...just because people are born different from us or have an accident or illness which effects their brain it doesn't give anyone the right to use that word as an insult.
These dudes have every right to have the choice in what they do in their lives and are given that choice even though it may be hard understanding their choice.
It just makes me wince and growl every time I hear it used as an insult when some of these "retarded" people are some of the brightest buttons I know.

I understand your issue but how many times must we delete a word from our every day use in order to please others?

It's getting to the point that I am waiting to be charged with using the word FART to Describe something.

Retarded is and will always be a term for a condition or a term used to Deride someone.

It's just a word. We can still use words right?

I Don't like the terms "like" or "awesome" because I think they contribute to a lack of proper use of language and when used too many times make the user look "Stupid".

Should they be banned? Or maybe just the term "Stupid"?

If we keep fighting amongst ourselves as to what we can and can't say or how we can speak to each other, we are completing the task of eliminating our freedoms. Big Bro Doesn't even have to try anymore.

Peace

The words coming out of bullies mouths say more about their state of mind than their targets. That being said, my son has severe autism so I can totally empathize with this reaction. When someone you care about has autism, and you know how amazing they are and how incredibly difficult it is to be them (at least as much as you can know from the outside), it is easy to get all Momma Bear or Pappa Bear and do what you can to defend them.

("Sticks and stones will break my bones but words can never hurt me" is a nice phrase, but the truth is WORDS DO HURT. Trust me - girl-bullies have it down to a science. The boy-bullies might threaten and punch and humiliate physically, but the girl ones seek to destroy your inner being - and words/lies are the weapons of choice. Congrats to the people who are sophisticated enough to not be hurt by the words of others - good on you - but I could hardly expect that of my son, who has no words of his own to fight back with.)

OP, defending the vulnerable, even if you think he did not notice the insult (which he may have btw), teaches your autistic friend that he does not deserve such meanness from others. It lets him know they were WRONG, even if he didn't really understand the entire exchange. Ignoring the bully-boys might even let him think it was ok for him to have meanness hurled at him. It also let the bullies know that they were not going to simply be able to walk away unscathed and laughing at how clever they were.

It is said that boys fear weakness and being perceived as weak more than anything else - weakness is the greatest shame of all - if that is so, perhaps we can teach that true strength comes from caring for and assisting those whose bodies have dealt them a massive challenge, and that the true weakness is in going out of ones way to insult someone who can't fight back.

Blessings to you for the work you do - you have no idea, from a Mom's perspective, how incredibly appreciated you are. (Oh dang. I'm getting all misty eyed here!!!) Thank you.

- AB

originally posted by: boymonkey74
i work with people with learning difficulties and the other day I was out shopping with a guy with autism whom can not communicate and his senses are more to do with sensory touch and sounds more than us and anyhow he and I were walking down a road and some kids called him retarded as an insult. I told them to # right off before I give em a clout round t' earhole. My service user was unaware of what happened but we had a great time anyhow

.
But I am sick of people on ATS and in general life calling stuff retarded...just because people are born different from us or have an accident or illness which effects their brain it doesn't give anyone the right to use that word as an insult.
These dudes have every right to have the choice in what they do in their lives and are given that choice even though it may be hard understanding their choice.
It just makes me wince and growl every time I hear it used as an insult when some of these "retarded" people are some of the brightest buttons I know.

100% behind that, when people in this supposedly enlightened, brave new world use that as a slur on someone with disability, that is a sign of exclusion from society, or from the rest of 'us' It's borne of ignorance and a lack of knowledge, you could go further and say not wanting to have that knowledge, because that might mean you need to have some responsibility.

a reply to: AboveBoard

While I agree, it would be, in this ones opinion, a far more apt choice to teach his friend that what these imbecile bullies were doing is inherently ignorant and that their words don't matter, therefore, we shall pay them no mind. In fact, suggesting that there words have power at all is grounds for his friend to feel negatively in the future when, inevitably, bullies of this ilk strike again. So again, I ask: is it better to teach the lower functioning individuals that word of ignoramus bullies carry the power to negatively impact our emotions if we let them or to teach said individual that these words are like wind and carry no consequence thereby instilling in said individual a practice he can use in future confrontations. This is all assuming, of course, that the friend of boymonkey has the cognitive capacity to grasp the concept on an intellectual level.

Kallisti

originally posted by: watchitburn
a reply to: boymonkey74

It's just a word. Words only have the power that you allow them.

If you don't like something, don't listen.

That's not entirely correct, it's nothing to do with PC. The 'cultural' use came out of a non specified medical condition, as it was called 'Mental Retardation' no longer in use for obvious reasons.

a reply to: CagliostroTheGreat

Sure - I can understand that take on "the teachable moment" and I agree that is very healthy and appropriate - I can also understand that occasionally, as humans, we get our buttons pushed and our emotions riled and what comes out comes out. It is not always easily controlled on the fly when someone we humans are feeling naturally protective of, who is very vulnerable, has been "attacked" - but if one is prepared and has a strategy for dealing with that (usually after having a negative and emotional experience), then there is a better chance at staying cool-headed and "in teaching mode." So, I see your point. I also see within your statement the acknowledgement that the use of the word "retarded" to bully someone is wrong.

I also feel the anger that stirred the OP's Rant and know what its like to be in similar circumstances - when it hits out of the blue the first time, well it doesn't feel good and its not pretty, well thought out or anything like that - it is rage. For my part, I didn't say anything, just clammed up and stared down a woman who had verbally attacked my kid. It was a very painful experience.

Thanks for your wise and calm approach!

a reply to: boymonkey74

I would never refer to someone who is mentally disadvantaged as retarded because I am not the type to try and hurt someones feelings like that however I refuse to eliminate the word or classification to people, events, and whackerey as being retarded or acting the retard. It is a word that can accurately describe a situation or such and conveys it in a way no other word or words can. As long as I am not using it to mock someone who can not help their situation then there is no harm.

It was Sarah Palin that first threw a fit over it and took offense because of her kid but the word wasn't aimed at her kid in essence she was acting a .....

Here we go.... What are we going to do now? Start calling it "The R word"? The PC police are taking things too far..

originally posted by: jude11

originally posted by: boymonkey74
i work with people with learning difficulties and the other day I was out shopping with a guy with autism whom can not communicate and his senses are more to do with sensory touch and sounds more than us and anyhow he and I were walking down a road and some kids called him retarded as an insult. I told them to # right off before I give em a clout round t' earhole. My service user was unaware of what happened but we had a great time anyhow

.
But I am sick of people on ATS and in general life calling stuff retarded...just because people are born different from us or have an accident or illness which effects their brain it doesn't give anyone the right to use that word as an insult.
These dudes have every right to have the choice in what they do in their lives and are given that choice even though it may be hard understanding their choice.
It just makes me wince and growl every time I hear it used as an insult when some of these "retarded" people are some of the brightest buttons I know.

I understand your issue but how many times must we delete a word from our every day use in order to please others?

It's getting to the point that I am waiting to be charged with using the word FART to Describe something.

Retarded is and will always be a term for a condition or a term used to Deride someone.

It's just a word. We can still use words right?

I Don't like the terms "like" or "awesome" because I think they contribute to a lack of proper use of language and when used too many times make the user look "Stupid".

Should they be banned? Or maybe just the term "Stupid"?

If we keep fighting amongst ourselves as to what we can and can't say or how we can speak to each other, we are completing the task of eliminating our freedoms. Big Bro Doesn't even have to try anymore.

Peace

So can we still call Downs people Mongoloids?
How about cretin?
Idiot Savant for someone with Autism?

a reply to: the owlbear

I have never heard of people being called Mongoloids except in some old journals to describe some Asain characteristic but I don't think the s was used. I have never used cretin in any other sense than to describe an extremely obtuse person. I just looked it up and found out it describes an actual disease even if it is rare.

Words matter in how they are used and with whom they are used they all have their place IMO. Use your best judgement it is when PC is no longer a choice that we have a problem.

Bless you for the work you do... too bad everyone could not have the kindness, patience, and understanding that you do with those that are different than the average person. There is so much we could learn from them if we would just learn.

Maybe WE are the "BAD WORD WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY"

I'm Sorry OP you have to deal with bullies and inconsiderate people....and here you are minding your own business, working with kids, and you got some idiot yelling derogatory names at you....it's just rude. You'd think people would see a handicap person and realize how good they actually have it. But don't worry OP...karma comes around! and when she strikes .....it's not pretty.

That made me laugh as when I was a child the word "stupid" when applied to a person was the biggest insult imaginable. I was a teenager before I realized it wasnt a real swear.a reply to: jude11

When we were kids, children in my neighborhood were pretty much restricted from calling other kids retarded. So, we called the Duval's instead. The Duval Home was a place for retards to live. LOL

Thanks for a memory that put a smile on my face.

I've never liked being PC, and I don't plan to start at my age.