Happines = Reality - Expectations

A simple, yet powerful formula. Once you realize how simple it is, it can be life changing.

Happiness = Reality - Expectations.

With a generation that thrives on instant gratification, expectations run rampant and have lost their proximity to and basis in reality.

The reality of the world, versus what we have been led to expect, is (in most cases) why people are so unhappy and feel like the world sucks. We have been led to believe that the people who represent us, actually DO represent us, and therefore, we believe that all of the our expectations will be met since they are supposed to represent them for us. Obviously that isn't true. The reality is that these people are greedy, manipulative, cunning, diabolical and don't care about us, which is far from what we should expect. This leads to a direct feeling of unhappiness, as well as a host of other feelings.

Another example is starting a new job that you are excited about. You expect that it's going to be perfect for you. You expect to be given respect from everyone you work with. You expect that you'll be valued as an employee. As time goes by, and you start to see reality for what it is, the gap between your new-found reality and the expectations you had starts to change. You realize that there are people who really don't like you, and you might not even know why. You work 70 hours a week and nobody even notices. In fact, you still get asked to do more. All of a sudden, you wake up one day, and realize that you are very, very unhappy. The larger the gap is between reality and what you expect, the more unhappy you are.

Or one that even more people can relate to.... A new relationship. You're so happy with this new person because they show you all of their absolute best qualities, setting an expectation for how things will be going forward. The relationship progresses, and you start to realize the reality, which is that they have disgusting habits, or don't get along with your friends, and suddenly you find yourself unhappy.

Or... you come to ATS expecting that you'll post something that people will appreciate and enjoy reading, that it will be flagged and starred and you will rejoice at your temporary ATS fame. Then reality hits you and you are unhappy that people don't like your post, so you go out and troll everyone else's. LOL

That is, unless you're the type that expects very little, and is therefore surprised and grateful for the reality you've been handed.

If the difference is negative, you're unhappy. If it's positive, you're happy. It really is that simple.

In a nutshell, it means that if you are looking for happiness, make sure that you have reasonable expectations, otherwise, you are all but guaranteed to be left with a deficit between what you expect and what you get with reality, and will likely be left unhappy in some way.

This simple way of looking at things can really impact your happiness.

Sometimes, people just don't know themselves like they think they do. Take a personality test of some kind and find out more about yourself so you can find ways to improve your happiness. I recommend this site for finding your potential but there are plenty of others out there.

My only expectation is that I wake up tomorrow breathing. As long as that happens in my reality, I'm happy.

Find your happiness by being real about your expectations and you can change your reality.

~Namaste

I approach life the same way I approached boxing and martial arts. Go in with no plan. Roll with the punches and take advantage of opportunities as they are presented. Expectations, more often than not, lead to disappointment.

originally posted by: SonOfTheLawOfOne
A simple, yet powerful formula. Once you realize how simple it is, it can be life changing.

Happiness = Reality - Expectations.

With a generation that thrives on instant gratification, expectations run rampant and have lost their proximity to and basis in reality.

The reality of the world, versus what we have been led to expect, is (in most cases) why people are so unhappy and feel like the world sucks. We have been led to believe that the people who represent us, actually DO represent us, and therefore, we believe that all of the our expectations will be met since they are supposed to represent them for us. Obviously that isn't true. The reality is that these people are greedy, manipulative, cunning, diabolical and don't care about us, which is far from what we should expect. This leads to a direct feeling of unhappiness, as well as a host of other feelings.

Another example is starting a new job that you are excited about. You expect that it's going to be perfect for you. You expect to be given respect from everyone you work with. You expect that you'll be valued as an employee. As time goes by, and you start to see reality for what it is, the gap between your new-found reality and the expectations you had starts to change. You realize that there are people who really don't like you, and you might not even know why. You work 70 hours a week and nobody even notices. In fact, you still get asked to do more. All of a sudden, you wake up one day, and realize that you are very, very unhappy. The larger the gap is between reality and what you expect, the more unhappy you are.

Or one that even more people can relate to.... A new relationship. You're so happy with this new person because they show you all of their absolute best qualities, setting an expectation for how things will be going forward. The relationship progresses, and you start to realize the reality, which is that they have disgusting habits, or don't get along with your friends, and suddenly you find yourself unhappy.

Or... you come to ATS expecting that you'll post something that people will appreciate and enjoy reading, that it will be flagged and starred and you will rejoice at your temporary ATS fame. Then reality hits you and you are unhappy that people don't like your post, so you go out and troll everyone else's. LOL

That is, unless you're the type that expects very little, and is therefore surprised and grateful for the reality you've been handed.

If the difference is negative, you're unhappy. If it's positive, you're happy. It really is that simple.

In a nutshell, it means that if you are looking for happiness, make sure that you have reasonable expectations, otherwise, you are all but guaranteed to be left with a deficit between what you expect and what you get with reality, and will likely be left unhappy in some way.

This simple way of looking at things can really impact your happiness.

Sometimes, people just don't know themselves like they think they do. Take a personality test of some kind and find out more about yourself so you can find ways to improve your happiness. I recommend this site for finding your potential but there are plenty of others out there.

My only expectation is that I wake up tomorrow breathing. As long as that happens in my reality, I'm happy.

Find your happiness by being real about your expectations and you can change your reality.

~Namaste

Reality = happiness + expectations ? By rules of math. So the expectations seem important, but probably bad for personal well-being.

My dad told me when I was young that you can only believe half of what you hear and three quarters of what you see. So my expectations are based on this beginning knowledge. The percentages have gotten a little bit worse over the years. He did mention also that all areas are covered by this rule, even medicine and science. he mentioned this issue directly. I was only probably seven when I was informed about this. He was right, the interpretation of evidence can be flawed half the time or the structure of the testing can exclude real issues that would disprove it.

So this is the starting point of my expectations. Now honesty in the public has gotten worse, desire governs the interpretation of honesty. Most people are parrots, not lambs. I've known this for years. We are conditioned well, something that has not changed much over the years I have been around.

So since my expectations of society were low to begin with, I guess that is why I am kind of happy with my life. I made it this far without flipping out over all the lies, especially in the highly educated section of society. People don't even know they are lying most time, they do not want to know they are lying either.

S&F

Yes expectations mostly leads to disappointment, so never expect anything from anyone.
www.cellublue.com...

I'm not so sure about that formula. If a long-term relationship is desired by both parties then expectations should be discussed in depth, as well as mutual future goals, so there is a meeting of the minds, so to speak. If one or both parties fail to maintain the discussed plan, then that is when the problems arise.

Happiness (Success) = Reality (Continually Changing Circumstances) + Mutually Agreed Upon Expectations (along with a strong commitment to those mutual expectations and goals)

Thank you kindly for your thoughts on this! It is the truth! Expectattion is one of the major hurdles in finding "happiness" All things are subjective but if you simply drop your expectations you create the environment in which your mind will percieve how amazing the experience you are partaking in truly is!

Namaste Aloha!

I don't know. I honestly have very low expectations in life. The only thing I expect in life is for it to be hard. I have experienced so many losses and failures that I am nearly incapable of having wants or expectations. The loss of being able to have expectations and hope brings about unhappiness.

If you want to be happy, you try to observe reality, not control reality.

This will also bring more acceptance and therefore peace with others.


"For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." - Galatians 5:14

originally posted by: calstorm
I don't know. I honestly have very low expectations in life. The only thing I expect in life is for it to be hard. I have experienced so many losses and failures that I am nearly incapable of having wants or expectations. The loss of being able to have expectations and hope brings about unhappiness.

The saying goes..."Hope for the best, plan for the worst".

A young woman asked her elderly grandmother if she thinks about death, her grandmother replied "Never".