Currently I got my first job at a call center for a big telecomunication company here in portugal, we're calling our current clients and trying to
have them upgrade their service to the most recent one.
I wouldn't say it's hard, formation covered the aspects of telemarketing and how to handle costumers pretty thoroughly but it really isn't about the
difficulty of the job, but the implications the job has and how it's wrecking my soul and body apart.
We are strictly monitored, the software monitors when you log in, your average call time, pause time, call numbers etc.. we need to keep them short
and need at least 15 sales a month, I'm working 4 hours a day from 6pm to 10pm with only one 15 minute pause, now, I'm aware this really isn't that
hard, and my co-workers and supervisors are all easy going and helpful, but only 1 week after starting, I'm already worn out, don't feel like going to
work, I'm calling in sick and feeling just really empty and depressed overall, haven't had any appetite and I'm only noticing this now, during
formation it was all going silky smooth, I haven't felt this down since my exgf dumped me.
What I'm trying to do is see things from a logical and rational point of view, trying to shove my feelings aside, I keep telling myself I need to
keep working, I need the money (which isn't anything special but eh), I need to know what having a job feels like, gotta become more professional, I'm
trying to become more adult by having this responsibility, but even seeing things through this point of view doesn't keep me from feeling this way.
Skipping work made feel even worse, I noticed how weak it was of me missing work just because I was feeling down and didn't really have the energy to
get up and move my ass to the office. Things aren't really going awesome in my life, I'm under alot of pressure because of exams, I left some classes
for this year, classes that I don't know anything about (Philosophy f.e), this a clear indicator of my deep procrastination also a really serious
issue, and the classic teenager issues with love, a girl that I love since 7th grade, but I know that a relationship with her would just be
impossible, plus she giving me signs that she wants to start something, just leaves me thinking alot more about her, making me ponder, am I just
scared of starting a relationship, and as to why I'm already giving up on here without even trying, shoulda woulda coulda.
All this summed with the pressure from work, plus stupid feelings, plus final year in shcool pressure as left me completely exhausted and left me
with a depressive feeling of helplessness and emptiness.. yet for brief periods I can tell it's all fine, problems come and go, next day will be
better and I get a warm and really cozy feeling, but then bam, back to the emptiness. ALL these feelings started to come to the surface when I started
working, I think the stress from work just made my focus on all my problems, of course these teenager issues came afloat every once in a while I would
feel down and depressed, but now I'm feeling like that every single day, and if it were just affecting my mind I could cope with it, but also I'm
losing my appetite and not feeling hungry and not eating leaves without any energy..
It's the rant forum, I'm bitching and being a tad bitchy, but I really would like to know if you feel like I'm just being a whiny dude that's crying
out loud and if you really feel like that please be honest, and tell me how I can make things better, most members here have lived through much more
than I have and are downright wiser than I am.
edit on 7-5-2014 by WhiteWine because: (no reason given)