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The Captain Planet Awards

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posted on May, 6 2014 @ 04:00 PM
ATS should turn this into a poll. But here is my selection, what's yours?

Hoggish Greedly - Chris Christie
Looten Plunder - Barack Obama; runner-up: Cory Booker (former Mayor of Newark)
Sly Sludge - dual award: Bill Gates and Michael Bloomberg (since they succeeded in getting greedily rich)
Dr. Blithe - Nancy Pelosi (but she's just the double for Hilary Clinton)
MAL (Dr. Blithe's computer) - Bill Clinton (because he can't even get a blow job)
Duke Nukem - Mitt Romney; runner-up: Hollande (of France)
Verminous Skumm - Netanyahu (of Israel); runner-up: king Abdullah [of Saudi Arabia]; followed by: former president of South Korea
Captain Pollution - President of China
Zarm - Joseph Stalin, whoops, Vladamir Putin

Gwame - Obama (because he used to smoke which is "earth")
Linka - I give this one to a Nurse at my school who wanted me to heal the natural way, but someone more known would be James Davies
Gi - Winona LaDuke
Wheeler - Hugo Chavez (RIP)
Ma-Ti - ‘Leeloo’–Milla Jovovich for saving the world in the Fifth Element during the twenty-third century with the power of love!
Ma-Ti's Monkey - to both Chris Tucker and Bruce Willis since they were monkeys in that movie

Gaia - Mother Earth

Captain Planet - Ron Paul

What's the difference between Ron Paul and Captain Planet?
Captain Planet says, "The Power is Yours," but Ron Paul says, "The Constitution is Yours!"

Ah, but wait!

Antonin Scalia and the Supreme Court just made a ruling that Antonin Scalia is supposed to get the award of Hoggish Greedly (since you know, the Supreme Court is above the Law).

Antonin Scalia gets Hoggish Greedly.

And for Governor Christie, he gets the award of Jabba the Hut!

So who do you think these awards should go to?


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