Obesephobe - could this be a new word for the 21st century?

Here is a question I bet the academics will not do a study on.


How many overweight people watch fat porn ?


Or are they just as judgement and shallow as the rest of us.

a reply to: grainofsand

You're not attracted to the person so saying that you're not isn't dishonest. You weren't blunt with your friend, you were brutal... you put your friend in a position of defense (who doesn't defend people they care about when they feel they're being attacked or insulted?).

a reply to: Kali74
"Attacked or insulted" ???
Honest answer that fat women make me go urgh! Yuk!
What? Is that wrong or politically incorrect now?

originally posted by: Kali74
(who doesn't defend people they care about when they feel they're being attacked or insulted?).

And thats the key,

Felt,

Not was.

He made a statement of preference, which people can't do anymore least someone take offence.

Feeling, is not Reality, people can have their opinion, and just because it disagrees with something some one else views, is not a personal attack.

People need to FEEL less, and REASON more.

Thats what the whole of this debate is.

People Feeling their Excuses are valid enough to alleviate responsibility and have other accept them as they are despite a glaring character flaw.


Something, we all have (flaws) yet this one flaw, everyone just needs to accept.

Because #ty genetics.


Just like Alcoholism runs genetically, I guess we just got to embrace that too.

Our voluntary appearance. Be it our bodies, hair, piercings / make-up or a uniform will sometimes cause a harsh response. The more extreme our appearance, the more extreme the response.

As someone who chooses to live with other humans. I account for that. I will never be so arrogant to think it does not matter.


What I personally will not stand for is anyone being abused for a physical or intellectual trait they were born with. Obesity does not fall into this category.

Choose your fights carefully. Or sooner or later people think you represent nothing.

It seems with some folk here that it's OK to not be attracted to a partner just so long as it's not because they eat too many sticky cakes and sit on their arse. I shall not apologise. I am not attracted to such types.

What other people think about your attractions literally means nothing. That's all. It is what it is.

The fact is there is someone who actually is attracted to her and may make the move, but that doesn't have to be you.

originally posted by: thedeadtruth


What I personally will not stand for is anyone being abused for a physical or intellectual trait they were born with. Obesity does not fall into this category.

Choose your fights carefully. Or sooner or later people think you represent nothing.

Agreed, Come to think of it, I am pretty sure I could list my personal preference in what I find attractive, and someone, somewhere, would find enough offence in it to label me something (Prejudice, Misogynistic, Racist, etc) .

I could probably phrase it in the most un-caring to others way, to enhance that effect.

So while I understand there is Politeness involved in culture, things you just don't say, I don't see it anywhere in the OPS post, he was being honest with someone.

Not brash or rude, Honest.

Yet, for some reason and funny this, the thing that revolves around endless consumption? NO Don't criticize that trait.

The fat Acceptance BS in US culture is the height of absurdity.

Might as well make everything "defend-able" as a life choice.

Alcoholism would be one ready example of Genetics and Disease that the "fat acceptance" argument is perfect for, and points out the absurdity of the thought.

a reply to: benrl

I'm in no way saying he's wrong for not being attracted to fat people. A REASONable person can think before they speak and simply state I"m not attracted to said person and that would have been that. Instead he FELT like being a jerk about it.

a reply to: benrl
You are correct there, the fat girl in question had no idea that there was a conversation about her, her friend asked me if I was into her and I replied that I was not because of her size.
If a girl said the same about a mate of mine with over-eating issues I'd tell him and remind him that if he wanted to fix the situation/get with her, then he'd have to make some changes.
...but I'm honest with my friends.

a reply to: grainofsand

It has nothing to do with political correctness. It's fine that you aren't attracted to fat people. No one can help who they are attracted to. Your friend said you were being unkind, you were... you seem to be under the impression that you can be a jerk and everyone should accept that.

a reply to: Kali74
How do you define me being a 'jerk' ?
Should I have lied and said "oh, I'm not into her" ?
Do you usually lie to your friends then?

originally posted by: Kali74
a reply to: grainofsand

It has nothing to do with political correctness. It's fine that you aren't attracted to fat people. No one can help who they are attracted to. Your friend said you were being unkind, you were... you seem to be under the impression that you can be a jerk and everyone should accept that.

I dont think giving a reason to why he wasnt attracted to her was unkind..........in fact it probably negated any future discussion that might have caused more harm....

Whats wrong with saying "Im not attracted to her because of her size"

Thats all he stated, she pressed the issue........

How is that any different from me saying " Im not into hipsters" or "Blondes dont really do it for me" or "We dont share the same lifestyle"

Quibbling over semantics just makes things more muddied.......

How can one be offended by another when simply told something, and then THEY instigate further discussion on the topic?

if they dont want to know........

a reply to: ManBehindTheMask
Cheers for the position you take which appears to be born of reason.
I was asked a question and gave an honest answer as per the narrative in the OP.

originally posted by: Kali74
a reply to: benrl

I'm in no way saying he's wrong for not being attracted to fat people. A REASONable person can think before they speak and simply state I"m not attracted to said person and that would have been that. Instead he FELT like being a jerk about it.

I re-read his post, he gave an honest opinion.

If I said, I was repulsed by tall women, would that be offensive or would I be using the proper word to describe an emotion?

cause (someone) to feel intense distaste and aversion.

Theres any number of ways to say it,

I do not find extremely tall women attractive,

I could say, I find extremely tall women to be Repulsive,

Or I could say that I am repulsed by extremely tall women.

All are correct, and its just nit picking to find offence.

IT IS THE THOUGHT, that people are offended with in this case, not how he said it.

People can't handle that someone, somewhere could find some reason not to like them that is based purely on a physical characteristic.

The women wasn't there, it was his buddy, feeling him out for his OPINION on something.

Was it his fault, that the friend took offense with his opinion when it was asked?

What would of been better, should he have come up with some other false motive as to why he wouldn't like her? Should he have politely explained he was not into "big girls" but than immediately gone into a big is beautiful rant to protect himself?

Or can he be honest?

Perhaps he should of watered it down as much as possible

" I don't find people who can't be bothered to ensure their personal health attractive"

Or would we still be here talking about how he offended someone, I think we would no matter how he answered, as long as it was honest someone would have a problem with the thought.

a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

I'm not attracted to him/her generally ends the conversation.

a reply to: benrl

Would be just as offensive yes.

originally posted by: Kryties

originally posted by: smithjustinb

Ask me what I think and I'll tell you. Don't ask me, and I still might tell you. You sound like a yes man. Someone lacking individuality. Someone that can be herded up in a cage and used and taken advantage of by another person for their own selfish desires. That's my first impression of you based on how you are viewing this situation.

Wow, you couldn't be more wrong about me if you tried! But thanks for confirming my thoughts about you being judgemental, I hope you don't get everyone as wrong as you just did me.

Or maybe that's the problem?

Well you are advocating that people should keep their opinions to themselves and not take any coarse of action based on a negative opinion. So, it sounds like you are not opposed to any form of the like. That's the definition of a yes man and someone who is too afraid to hurt someone's feelings by telling the truth.

originally posted by: Kali74
a reply to: benrl

Would be just as offensive yes.

So.

Your answer, when asked for your honest opinion, don't be honest.

Got it.

Even among friends, as per the OP.

a reply to: Kali74

Not in my experience, when a friend is trying to hook up some friends. They sound like a real estate agent, trying to sell you the person. It's easier to be blunt and up front, so they stop pushing the matter.