Obesephobe - could this be a new word for the 21st century?

originally posted by: BoscoMoney
a reply to: grainofsand

I hear ya, except for me its black people, or just about any minority. Also, I'm not racist. See how this works?

The two are completely different - skin colour is genetic, not a choice.

Being overweight is a choice as it's impossible to gain wait if you consume the same calories as you burn apart from the 2% or so of medical exceptions.

The OP could have employed more tact, but I don't see what's wrong in not being attracted to someone who doesn't take care of themselves and is wiping years off their life. Everyone's attracted to different things.

originally posted by: grey580
a reply to: Char-Lee

What planet do you live on?
People insult fat men all the time.

You've never been bullied for being overweight have you.

I have seen dozens of these threads on here and it is always about Women...the photos they put on are overweight women never men. No I have never been bullied for being overweight but I have been bullied for being poor as a child and having red hair. Every reason for bullying is wrong and just plain evil. Please don't tell me it is all equal between Men and Women on looks.


I wonder do people even begin to think what is it like to be the one who gains easy. Your friends all eat cake and donuts and you never touch them, you eat salad and get fat and they get steak and potatoes...this is how my friend lived her whole life and she was not lazy but always large. She never ate sweets, no coffee, no alcohol I spent 7 weeks with her traveling and she did all the hikes...why was she fat her whole life...in order not to be she would need one small meal a day or non stop exercise.

originally posted by: Char-Lee

originally posted by: grey580
a reply to: Char-Lee

What planet do you live on?
People insult fat men all the time.

You've never been bullied for being overweight have you.

I have seen dozens of these threads on here and it is always about Women...the photos they put on are overweight women never men. No I have never been bullied for being overweight but I have been bullied for being poor as a child and having red hair. Every reason for bullying is wrong and just plain evil. Please don't tell me it is all equal between Men and Women on looks.


I wonder do people even begin to think what is it like to be the one who gains easy. Your friends all eat cake and donuts and you never touch them, you eat salad and get fat and they get steak and potatoes...this is how my friend lived her whole life and she was not lazy but always large. She never ate sweets, no coffee, no alcohol I spent 7 weeks with her traveling and she did all the hikes...why was she fat her whole life...in order not to be she would need one small meal a day or non stop exercise.

You may be right. I've not paid attention to numbers on these types of posts. However I don't think that was what the OP intended. He was being shamed for his preference.

And I'm in that boat where I struggle to lose weight.
However I've been eating less and eating better and lost 20 lbs.
It's different for everyone and it's never easy.

a reply to: grey580

He was being shamed for his preference.

No he was being shamed for stating in a derogatory way, to a friend, that her friend was non desirable to him.

People care about their friends, why would anyone say something like that about your friend...all he had to do is say, no he was not interested in her even though he was clearly enjoying her company, he was not attracted physically.

Easy so EASY not to be cruel.

originally posted by: BoscoMoney
a reply to: grainofsand
I hear ya, except for me its black people, or just about any minority. Also, I'm not racist. See how this works?

What a ridiculous comparison. Nobody makes a choice to be born into a particular race, but the vast majority of fat people can make choices to lose or gain weight.
I'm guessing you haven't read much of this thread then? I'd previously addressed the silly race card, and added that there are no racial features which I find unattractive (black/white/asian/arab/whatever), but show me someone of any race who is fat and I shall think urgh, yuk.

a reply to: Char-Lee It wasn't the fat friend who asked me, it was another mutual friend, why should I have hid my reasons? Should it be a secret that I do not like seeing fat bodies?
And you STILL haven't answered my question why it is acceptable to tell someone who drinks/smokes/drugs too much that it is the reason why you don't want to be with them, yet someone who clearly eats too much should be treated as a poor vulnerable victim who should be lied to to protect their feelings?

originally posted by: grey580
a reply to: grainofsand
So if an overweight person doesn't attract you. Then they don't attract you. Don't beat yourself up over it.

Ah no, it is the whining of fat apologists I'm arguing against, those who would like a society where we must hide our feelings about fat if we are unattracted to it. Obesephobia or even Obesist perhaps now after reading some lame attempts to play the race card in this topic.

originally posted by: Char-Lee
All these heavy WOMEN insulters I would bet a million that every one of them would make a romantic date with Oprah or some large rich woman or famous person, even if she has rarely been under 200 lbs.

You rarely hear people insulting fat men, they are not expected to wear high heals and paint their face to be accepted by society either. So we can add a sexest point to the whole thing.

How is expressing revulsion for fat bodies 'insulting'?
Oh, and I would only have sex with a women of high body fat percentage if I was paid in a formal arrangement of cash for sex. I would not be a gold digger with any woman, it would be a false relationship which I would not like.
I don't expect women to wear high heels or makeup, I've even been in a beautiful long term relationship with an amazing girl who never wore either, and didn't shave her underarm.

My gosh, you appear to have some generalised/stereotypical/sexist views about men don't you.

originally posted by: Char-Lee
No he was being shamed for stating in a derogatory way, to a friend, that her friend was non desirable to him.

"She's way too big for me" was factually correct and honest.
"She's a fat whale" would be derogatory.
Try again.

People care about their friends, why would anyone say something like that about your friend...all he had to do is say, no he was not interested in her even though he was clearly enjoying her company, he was not attracted physically.

Easy so EASY not to be cruel.

Explain the cruelty? I'm all ears for some ethical/moral assertions other than your previous sexist comments about men.

Oops, I missed this so responding separately...

originally posted by: Char-Lee
...this is how my friend lived her whole life and she was not lazy but always large. She never ate sweets, no coffee, no alcohol I spent 7 weeks with her traveling and she did all the hikes...why was she fat her whole life...in order not to be she would need one small meal a day or non stop exercise.

So your friend chooses to consume more energy than she needs.
Should I feel sorry for her now? I'd love to have a metabolism that allowed me to cut my 3 or 4 meals a day to only one, I'd save loads of money. Lucky for her I say.

originally posted by: Kali74
a reply to: grainofsand

It has nothing to do with political correctness. It's fine that you aren't attracted to fat people. No one can help who they are attracted to. Your friend said you were being unkind, you were... you seem to be under the impression that you can be a jerk and everyone should accept that.

There is one thing I see fairly frequently is people mistaking calls for tactfulness as calls for being PC. This particular thread is a good example of that.

originally posted by: KeliOnyx

originally posted by: Kali74
a reply to: grainofsand

It has nothing to do with political correctness. It's fine that you aren't attracted to fat people. No one can help who they are attracted to. Your friend said you were being unkind, you were... you seem to be under the impression that you can be a jerk and everyone should accept that.

There is one thing I see fairly frequently is people mistaking calls for tactfulness as calls for being PC. This particular thread is a good example of that.

Thank you for your contribution to the thread, but what exactly is your point in relation to the OP?
www.britannica.com...

political correctness (PC), term used to refer to language that seems intended to give the least amount of offense

www.merriam-webster.com...

tactfulness, noun, the ability to deal with others in touchy situations without offending them

Are you really playing the sidetrack descriptive word game instead of addressing my statements in the OP and subsequent posts?
I am arguing that there is a societal pressure to withold ones negative feelings about fat bodies, in order to somehow 'protect' people, of which the overwhelming majority make choices to to be the size they are.
This perceived societal pressure is the PC element.
Tactfulness is about the personal ability to rephrase things, or withold details in order to avoid a reaction by the person in discussion. I am more than able to choose whichever diplomatic way of describing my revulsion for fat bodies but the point of the OP is why should I?

I agree that a line such as "She's a fat whale" would be an insulting label, but "She's way to big for me" is factual and honest. 'Tact' should not be changed into a word which means telling lies to people to make them feel better...what a false world some folk must live in...

Lifestyle choice. Almost anyone can do the same, not as quickly or to this extent, depending on time available and goals, but just about anyone who's obese can be much fitter if they wanted to. It's a choice.

latest example

a reply to: MysticPearl
True, but most bleading hearts have this sympathy/victim thing for fat people so expressing any personal revulsion for it is offensive now.
As I've said previously, "She's a fat whale" would be an insult, but "She's way to big for me" is merely a factual and honest answer to a question.

I do feel some sympathy for that tiny percentage of obese people who may have a contributing medical condition, but you have to ask yourself, would they look the same in sustained famine conditions? We all know the answer to that.

Ohmygosh, I'm devastated and feeling pain because the fat apologists are not here defending the people who ate all the pies like they are victims of the pie shops.
Where are you?!
I was under the impression that ATS members were all bigtime feeling the love for people who eat more energy than their body actually needs to function.
I guess we all know the truth...excess/high body fat percentage is a personal choice...and even the ATS fat lovers cannot find an argument to counter my points in the OP. Result!