Abuse erased by considering the event is a dream:

Ok, well I have figured some things out... when I was 3 years of age... the abuse started. I don't remember much until I am 7. When I was 7 years old I remember being abused and another child, aged 9 was also there...what that did to my brain was condition it and here is how these fargon bastages are getting away with a lot of bad things:

There are 'two of me'... because of the abuse, I developed an identity disorder (I thought I was the 9 year old) I am not her. I am the 'whore'... whenever I see her face, my brain blacks out and I think it is a dream..."because I see who I think I am and then think I must be dreaming".. the abuse or the event is blacked out and whatever happens, I will not know or remember.

My best advice to anyone is, practice looking at anyone who looks similar to you... keeping in mind, the person you see is not you. You are never anything you can see. (unless looking in a mirror) When 'remembering'...you can view the event from all angles and that is also something to keep in mind.

I have photos of myself at various ages and the other person I thought I was is also in other photos. It is so obvious now... I did not see the differences at first.

When I was 7 I was very confused because of an event and my hair was very long and brown... well the person I thought I was, has thin blonde hair and is 9... I remember my 'fake' mother curling my hair and sending me to school as 'her daughter' ... now I know why she did that because her hair was not as long as mine. So that makes sense.

Quite simply, there are two People living one Person's life. Whenever she sees me or I see her, one of us will black out because we both were abused and think we are each other. Whenever that happens, one of us comes out of a dark place and is 'waking up' or like me, standing confused without my school bag on the foot path.

a reply to: Thurisaz
Uhh......whut?

a reply to: Thurisaz

Is this a true story? If so, have you been to therapy?

If this is true, I'm sorry for your situation, child abuse fractures little developing brains. I hope you let the scars heal through some type of help.

a reply to: Thurisaz

I hope that you gain some type of closure with your memories of abuse. It may even be possible that, in some way, you may have been part of some type of MK-Ultra experiment. But that may be too much for you to process right now. Just keep on working with your memories, the way you're doing now.

I know that what you're doing also helps me process memories of my evil step-mother. I personally think that she could have been some sort of agent. It's hard for me to say because I haven't done extensive research into MK-Ultra realities.

S&F

I have a good friend who was sold as an infant as a child prostitute, she developed Dissociative Identity Disorder (or has being diagnosed as such). She is now in her early 20's, and lives a normal happy un-medicated life, she has her "condition" managed. Its not easy, and you need good support networks, but you are not automatically destined to live a life medicated, in fear, or not knowing the person you are.

There will be people on this forum who will dismiss DID (or MPSD) as a hoax, please have the strength to endure that, the arm-chair analysts here dont always know best.