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I Give You Control Over 2 Acres Of Land!

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posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 05:27 PM
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originally posted by: DietJoke
So basically my plan is to give you 2 [imaginary] acres, of fertile farm and or woodland, to take care of yourself with for the rest of your life!

Not enough. GIve me 20 and I promise you don't ever have to hear from me again.




posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 05:30 PM
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In fact, he did. He said "[imaginary] fertile farm and or woodland,"


Inspired by the "Give me control of the planet" line of rant threads I thought I would jump on board and also give it a new spin!

So basically my plan is to give you 2 [imaginary] acres, of fertile farm and or woodland, to take care of yourself with for the rest of your life!

The rules are ... you're on your own for everything and you may not ever leave your plot of land for any reasons [any trespass incurs the death penalty]!

You may choose any type of cattle, fowl, fish and seeds to farm with!

You start with NO TOOLS and must source these things from your land by your own skills.

What type of land do you choose?

What type of food will you grow?

What type of tools can you make from scratch?

What rules will you live by on your land?

Would you take up the offer of living under such conditions on 2 acres of land?

BTW ... Yes this IS a RANT even though that may not be obvious just yet ... because I am betting most people would be horrified by such a prospect and that very thought disgusts me greatly and diminishes the whole of 'humanity' in my eyes!

Please prove me wrong!
edit on 170000002505pmb14America/Chicago by Hushabye because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 05:44 PM
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The first thing I'd do is kill the neighbors next to me. Then increase my holdings to 1,000 acres. Create a kingdom where I ruled supreme.
I'd create an army, a subgroup of farmers, laborers, mechanics, electricians, builders.

Then I'd create an Iron Throne where I would rule supreme.



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 05:49 PM
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originally posted by: aynock
a reply to: Trueman

it's going to get very hard in the winter


Of course it has to be adverse situations, no Eden Garden.



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 05:55 PM
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originally posted by: beezzer
The first thing I'd do is kill the neighbors next to me. Then increase my holdings to 1,000 acres. Create a kingdom where I ruled supreme.
I'd create an army, a subgroup of farmers, laborers, mechanics, electricians, builders.

Then I'd create an Iron Throne where I would rule supreme.


All hail Beezzer, the wise and powerful, all knowing, all seeing, all powerful, maker of wonders, father of love, creator of all things in this world that are good, supreme ruler of all he sees!!!!!!!

To know his rule is to know love, not to know it is to court death, in this life and the next!!!

Ok Beez I just gave you the big lead in, now just to set the proper tone with the masses, you should probably kill at least 16 of them right off the bat to let them all know your not playing. I will hide alters to false gods in their belongings to prove they were heretics for worshipping false gods, and the people will praise you for protecting them from these vile idol worshipping fiends.



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 05:58 PM
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originally posted by: oblvion

originally posted by: beezzer
The first thing I'd do is kill the neighbors next to me. Then increase my holdings to 1,000 acres. Create a kingdom where I ruled supreme.
I'd create an army, a subgroup of farmers, laborers, mechanics, electricians, builders.

Then I'd create an Iron Throne where I would rule supreme.


All hail Beezzer, the wise and powerful, all knowing, all seeing, all powerful, maker of wonders, father of love, creator of all things in this world that are good, supreme ruler of all he sees!!!!!!!

To know his rule is to know love, not to know it is to court death, in this life and the next!!!

Ok Beez I just gave you the big lead in, now just to set the proper tone with the masses, you should probably kill at least 16 of them right off the bat to let them all know your not playing. I will hide alters to false gods in their belongings to prove they were heretics for worshipping false gods, and the people will praise you for protecting them from these vile idol worshipping fiends.


A wise option.

I grant you land, horses, women and wine.



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 05:59 PM
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a reply to: DietJoke

Silly despot...

I already have my 2 acres.



If you come near them, or my goats...Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson will give you one fair warning.

Carry on...


Des



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 06:09 PM
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originally posted by: beezzer
The first thing I'd do is kill the neighbors next to me. Then increase my holdings to 1,000 acres. Create a kingdom where I ruled supreme.
I'd create an army, a subgroup of farmers, laborers, mechanics, electricians, builders.

Then I'd create an Iron Throne where I would rule supreme.


I thought rabbits only need carrots and a hole



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 06:12 PM
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a reply to: beezzer


The first thing I'd do is kill the neighbors next to me. Then increase my holdings to 1,000 acres. Create a kingdom where I ruled supreme.

Serial Beezer, huh? How long you think before the community catches on and strings you up?



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 06:13 PM
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originally posted by: beezzer
The first thing I'd do is kill the neighbors next to me. Then increase my holdings to 1,000 acres. Create a kingdom where I ruled supreme.
I'd create an army, a subgroup of farmers, laborers, mechanics, electricians, builders.

Then I'd create an Iron Throne where I would rule supreme.


Obama..is that you...


I knew you were a member here....

Des



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 06:15 PM
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a reply to: Destinyone

Hehe.....Des, those goats look nice and fat. You probably are making some good cheese right?



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 06:15 PM
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I'll play along, even at the risk of being mocked. This is just a quick response and reserve the right to change my mind as I contemplate it a little more.


What type of land do you choose?

I'd want 60/40 wooded to cleared with a good spring.


What type of food will you grow?

Tomatoes, beans (as many varieties as I could), peppers, potatoes, maybe a handful of rye or wheat, and hemp for fabric. A variety of mints and other medicinal herbs would be on my list as well. I would plant a few fruit trees and blackberry/raspberry bushes on the edge of my cleared area for my consumption as well as baiting in deer. I'd have a couple of chickens because they are an easy, continual supply of protein and low maintenance. Maybe a pair of goats, but nothing larger. Oh, and a good rabbit dog.


What type of tools can you make from scratch?

I'd be up the creek for a little while. A crude pounding/digging device would be easy to come up with, as well as some snares and traps. Sophisticated tools would be a challenge, but I'd work like hell to master the basic skills asap. Flint knapping, hide-tanning, etc would be things I'd have to learn.


What rules will you live by on your land?

Live within the means that the land will provide.


Would you take up the offer of living under such conditions on 2 acres of land?

At this point in my life? No. Ten years ago? Yes. Ten years from now? Maybe.



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 06:18 PM
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a reply to: Trueman

I wish...I make goats milk soaps. I compete with the kids for my share of milk...


Des



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 06:20 PM
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originally posted by: beezzer

originally posted by: oblvion

originally posted by: beezzer
The first thing I'd do is kill the neighbors next to me. Then increase my holdings to 1,000 acres. Create a kingdom where I ruled supreme.
I'd create an army, a subgroup of farmers, laborers, mechanics, electricians, builders.

Then I'd create an Iron Throne where I would rule supreme.


All hail Beezzer, the wise and powerful, all knowing, all seeing, all powerful, maker of wonders, father of love, creator of all things in this world that are good, supreme ruler of all he sees!!!!!!!

To know his rule is to know love, not to know it is to court death, in this life and the next!!!

Ok Beez I just gave you the big lead in, now just to set the proper tone with the masses, you should probably kill at least 16 of them right off the bat to let them all know your not playing. I will hide alters to false gods in their belongings to prove they were heretics for worshipping false gods, and the people will praise you for protecting them from these vile idol worshipping fiends.


A wise option.

I grant you land, horses, women and wine.


More than a simple public servant such as myself deserves My Lord, thank you for being a kind and generous Lord.

I humbly and eagerly await your commands.



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 06:21 PM
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a reply to: oblvion

Only way you could get a woman...huh....


Des



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 06:22 PM
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originally posted by: intrptr
a reply to: beezzer


The first thing I'd do is kill the neighbors next to me. Then increase my holdings to 1,000 acres. Create a kingdom where I ruled supreme.

Serial Beezer, huh? How long you think before the community catches on and strings you up?


We already thought of that...we thought of everything



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 06:22 PM
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a reply to: DietJoke

I forgot to mention, I'd build an ark during my free time on weekends.



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 06:23 PM
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a reply to: DietJoke

So, Even given the fact that you could I guess work the soil by bare hands with no tools....

I can't leave the property? Where do my seeds come from?
Do the livestock magically appear on the land?

2 acres is NOT much land. I have that now and believe me we have a huge garden and have a few goats and chickens but there is no way to survive without some input from the outside world. I do a ton of hunting and fishing but not on the property.

But if I must play......

2 acres of good rich soil where a large year round river runs along one edge of the property (just inside the property line or course). Dense woods around the remaining 3 sides. Need the water for irrigation, fish and other resources. The river runs so thick with Salmon during the spawn that you can walk across their backs. Surely I could smoke enough to last throughout the year

The woods would cover about 1 acre and would be needed for wood and hopefully other resources through hunting and shelter. A deer I shot would have a stomach full of corn (not sure why he didn't chew it up) that I can plant for crops.


The woods would have many walnut, orange, apple, peach trees and of course blackberry bushes would be everywhere along with the blueberries. Wild onions would be numerous and Rhubarb would grow will there. Crazy land you wanted me to pick it.

Every night a HUGE herd of elk cross right through the center of my property...silly creatures.

And lucky me..... a tornado yesterday gently set a 14' x 65' trailer house right on my property, those tornadoes do some crazy things sometimes, the strangest part is that Natalie Portman & Gwen Steffani was in the trailer when it landed. They were sure glad to see me and refuse to leave.....what can ya do? Sometimes the Gods just smile on ya.
edit on 25-4-2014 by mwood because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 06:25 PM
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originally posted by: Destinyone
a reply to: oblvion

Only way you could get a woman...huh....


Des


How did you know?!!!....um hurumph cough cough, I meant, the ladies are all over me, I have to beat them away with a stick as it is.



posted on Apr, 25 2014 @ 06:26 PM
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Behold!!!



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