A brief intro to Discordianism

Welcome!

If you're reading this you are a genuine Pope! Congratulations, every man woman and child is a Pope, so treat them right!

Herein lies the absolute truth about everything, ever (maybe, but probably not). This is intended to be used as an introduction into the huger mysteries of the Erisian Movement not as toilet tissue. Thank you for your cooperation.

The following text is taken from Principia Discordia or How I Found Goddess and What I Did To Her When I Found Her.

The Revelation

Just prior to the decade of the nineteen-sixtie, when Sputnik was still alone and Ken Keasy took his acid trip as a medical volunteer; before underground newspapers, Vietnam and talk of a second American Revolution; in the comparative quiet of the nineteen-fifties, just before the idea of Renaissance became relevant...

Two young Californians, known later as Omar Ravenhurst and Malaclypse the Younger, were indulging in their habit of sipping coffee at an all-night bowling alley and generally solving the worlds problems. This particular evening the main topic of discussion was discord and they were complaining to each other of the personal confusion they felt in their respective lives. "Solve the problem of discord," said one, the other, "chaos and strife are the roots of all confusion."

FIRST I MUST SPRINKLE YOU WITH FAIRY DUST

Suddenly the place became devoid of light. Then an utter silence enveloped them and a great stillness was felt. Then came a bli ding flash of intense light, as though their very psyches had gone nova. Tgen vision returned.

The two were dazed and neither moved nor spoke for several minutes. The looked around and saw the bowlers were frozen like statues in a variety of comic positions and that a bowling ball was steadfastly anchored to the floor only inches from the pins it was sent to scatter. The two looked at each other, totally unable to account for the phenomenon. The condition was one of suspension and one noticed the clock had stopped.

There walked into the room a chimpanzee; shaggy and grey about the muzzle, yet upright in his full five feet and poised with natural majesty. He carried a scroll and walked toward the young men.

Source
Continued...

Mod Note: Posting work written by others.– Please Review This Link.

"Gentlemen," he said, "why does Pickering's Moon go about in reverse orbit? Gentlemen, there are nipples on your chest, do you give milk? And what, pray tell, Gentlemen, is to be done about Heisenberg's Law?" He paused. "SOMEBODY HAD TO PUT ALL OF THIS CONFUSION HERE!"

And with that he revealed his scroll. It was a diagram, like a yin-yang with a pentagon on obe side and an apple on the other. And then he exploded and the two list consciousness.

ERIS - GODDESS OF CHAOS DISCORD & CONFUSION

They awoke to the sound of pins clattering and found the bowlers actively engaged in their game and the waitress busy making coffee. It was apparent that their experience had been private.

They discussed their strange encounter and reconstructed from memory the chimpanzee's diagram. Over the next five days they searched libraries to find the significance of it but were disappointed to uncover references only to Taoism, the Korean flag and Technocracy. It was not until they traced the Greek writing on the apple that they discovered the ancient Goddess known to the Greeks as ERIS and to the Romans as DISCORDIA. This was the fifth night and when they slept that night, each had a vivid dream of a splendid woman whose eyes were as soft as feathers and as deep as eternity itself and whose body was the spectacular dance of atoms and universes. Pyrotechnics of pure energy formed her flowing hair and rainbows manifested and dissolved as she spoke in a warm gentle voice:

"I have cone to tell you that you are free. Many ages ago my consciousness left man that he might develop himself. I return to find this development approaching completion but hindered by fear and misunderstanding.

You have built for yourselves psychic suits of armor and clad in them, your vision is restricted, your movements are clumsy and painful, your skin is bruised and your spirit is broiled by the sun.

I am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy anarchy. I am chaos. I am Alive and I tell you that you are free.

Source again

Continued...

Mod Note: Posting work written by others.– Please Review This Link.

Hail Eris!

Young and Old Initiates unite!

Sit at the campfire of arcane wisdom with us, know that Bios is Both Bow and Life, The Unapparent reality is more striking than the apparent. But I wouldn't trust either, and neither should you!

Do not trust the disciples of Greyface! Seriousness is the death to life. To give birth to a universe one should be a dancing star, to live is to troll and what not.

Enjoy dreaming your wakefulness and living your deaths, avoid your own doom by birthing whelps destined for their own, hail Eris, Damn you Eris!

As an ordained minister in the Church of the Subgenius, and a Discordian Pope(ordained by RAW, himself) I can attest to the fact that this is indeed a fine religion. I never eat hotdogs with a bun, but when I do, I eat the hell out of them. Praise Bob and Hail Eris!

During the next months they studied philosophies and theologies and learned ERIS or DISCORDIA was primarily feared by the ancients as being disruptive. Indeed, the very concept of chaos was still considered equivalent to strife and treated as negative. "Bo wonder things are all screwed up," they concluded, "they have got it all backwards." They found that the principle of disorder was very much as significant as the principle of order.

With this in mind they studied the strange yin-yang. During a meditation one afternoon a voice came to them:

"It is called SACRED CHAO. I appoint you keepers of it. Therein you will find anything you like. Speak of Me as DISCORD, to show contrast to the Pentagon. Tell constricted mankind that there are no rules unless they choose to invent rules. Keep close the words of Syadasti: 'TIS AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NO MINDS'. And remember that there is no tyranny in the State of Confusion. For further information, consult your pineal gland.

"What is this?" Mumbled one to the other, "A religion based on The Goddess of Confusion? Its utter madness!"

And with these words, each looked at the other in absolute awe. Omar vegan to giggle. Mal began to laugh. Omar vegan jumping up and down. Mal was hooting and hollering to beat all hell. And amid the squeals of mirth and with tears on their cheeks, each appointed the other high priest of his own madness and together they declared themselves to be a society of Discordia, for whatever that may turn out to be.

Source

Join me brothers in the Battle Hymn of the Eristocracy!

VERSE
My brain has meditated on the spinning of the chao;
Its hovering o'er the table where the chiefs of staff are now
Gathered in discussion of the dropping of the bomb;
Her Apple Corps is strong!

CHORUS
Grand (and glory) Old Discordja! x3
Her Apple Corps is strong!

Verse
She was not invited to the party that they held on Limbo Peak;*
So she threw a golden apple, 'stead of turn'd t'other cheek!
O it cracked the holy punchbowl and made its nectar leak;
Her Apple Corps is strong!

*"Limbo Peak" refers to Old Limbo Peak, commonly called by the Greeks "Old Limb' Peak"

source

That's a really cool religion! So Robert Anton Wilson was a Discordian?! I l gotta look into this. I cheated and looked at Wikipedia in between your posts.

Such is my dedication to Eris I voluntarily typed this all on my phone!

All hail Discordia!

Hail Eris!

Yours Falsely, Pope Dillienger de Batman Esquire, KSC, KGA

Kallisti

a reply to: brazenalderpadrescorpio

You can't cheat if there are no rules brazenalderpadrescorpio! Cleanse yourself in the worldly chaos of Eris Esoteric, or don't. It kinda burns.

Kallisti

URK!

Sorry Kandinsky. Like I said, typed it on my phone. Thanks for the help!

a reply to: CagliostroTheGreat

Is there a website somewhere, or do I have to buy the book? I saw the Principia Discordia website somewhere. I guess I could look at that, or should I say, thattt. Haha.

a reply to: brazenalderpadrescorpio

The principia website is pretty good. Find Black Iron Prison for further reading, along with a myriad of other Discordian texts. There are also a few other websites that are pretty cool.

principiadiscordia.com...
principiadiscordia.com...
www.fnord.org...

originally posted by: CagliostroTheGreat
Welcome!
If you're reading this you are a genuine Pope!

Wait! I can get one of those hats?!
And I can now drive the pope mobile? Geez last time I thought I could paint it red, it's a shame I ran out of goats.

a reply to: blueyezblkdragon

Here ya go: paperpopehats.org...

As for the Popemobile, I last heard it was in the hands of a ruthless organization rumored to be called "Hydra".

a reply to: CagliostroTheGreat

Thanks! I sure will check them out.

star and flag my friend i love the spirit

A God who's presence you can actually feel all the time! Or is that just me? There I go again...confused yet again... I must be a saint in this religion. I NEVER know what's going on!

a reply to: 3n19m470

Actually in Discordianism all you have to do to become a saint is say you are one so congratulations you are now a saint!

Also I have made everyone that replied in this thread an honorary Fenderson. To become a legitimate Fenderson just say you are one. You can make others Fendersons too! Even if they don't want to be one (just do it secretly)!

All Hail Eris! (Or don't).
I am not only a Saint, but a Pope, and ex-communicated Pope, re-communicated Pope, a somewhat communicative Pope, and member of the ELF, as well as a double agent for the LDD.
Kallisti!
Great thread Cagliostro.

a reply to: ISeeTheFnords

Hmm why thank you sir Hmm

*bows handsomely*

Kallisti