I am the Patriarchy

a reply to: kaylaluv

"I'm so sorry - I thought I was just helping another human being out, I had no intention of dominating or oppressing you as a woman. Next time I'll be sure NOT to help someone out again, thanks for correcting me."

WHAT! 4 sentences ( yea really 4 sentences...you think) out of such a brief encounter, yeah that will go down well.
She would have had started screaming that she was accosted by a lunatic, or stalker.
Les Mis would then have been arrested, or shot if in the USA or been given some disgnosis out of the latest incarnation of the DSM trotted off dehumanized medicated and incarcerated in an institution for his own good

Googled "leaving the door open" and this is what I came up with

"I always left the door open--but those newer ranges, some of them turn off when the door is open. In that case, themeringue is never going to brown."
or

"will congenitally burn things under the broiler whether the door is open or not, no matter how intelligent the oven. The only safeguard is another human being to spell me"

I love google

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
Apparently, others share the same concerns. This presentation is more eloquent and well thought out than I could have done however, but the points seem the same:

An extremely relevant and thought provoking speech. Sadly lesmis I highly doubt that the posters you are directing this towards would absorb any of the message, let alone watch the video.

Cognitive dissonance is a heck of a thing.

a reply to: Itisnowagain

I was hoping someone would bring this up...the real agenda behind the ideology

a reply to: LesMisanthrope

If you notice when the first speaker asks if anyone doesn't like the title, did you miss that another woman saying that quite a few people did not? Again, most people are confused about feminism and what it actually strives to achieve. For every video showing 'confused feminism', I could show you videos of 'true feminism'.



If you want to educate yourself, visit this site.

www.aei.org...

a reply to: LesMisanthrope

There are a lot of men haters walking around. I have seen this attitude in many women.

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
a reply to: InTheLight

What is interesting, LM, is that there is a lot of speculation as to what others' may or may not be thinking or feeling and no real concrete proof of intention via conversation.

I agree! I have been called hateful, petty, disingenuous, irrational, just to name a few.

I have a feeling you're trying to imply something about me right now. You could just say if you wish.

My underlying message to you would be simply 'deny ignorance'. My message to you in the above post was that you really have (had in the case of the alleged feministic woman and the case of the man riding on the bus) no idea what any one person is thinking or feeling unless you ask them directly.

a reply to: InTheLight
A present for you this morning

And for LesMis - this is another attempt to answer your question

A Voice for Men
This site is fascinating - seriously

So much there to go through - but this is my favorite so far:


We have equal rights now - so stop already

(Golly - wonder how that happened?)

:-)

a reply to: Spiramirabilis

We have equal rights now - so stop already
(Golly - wonder how that happened?)

lol at the same time men became privileged and started winning custody, settlement and divorce battles.

a reply to: luciddream

lol at the same time men became privileged and started winning custody, settlement and divorce battles.

As well they should. No true feminist would want things to be any other way. Which is sort of the point - and a point the OP seems to consistently ignore. It's not feminists he needs to worry about - it's people

No good fight or relevant movement should ever go unchallenged

Just seems to me that people should be a little more careful about choosing/identifying their targets

Unless of course there's an ulterior motive, in which case - anything goes

:-)

originally posted by: Spiramirabilis
a reply to: InTheLight

A present for you this morning



And for LesMis - this is another attempt to answer your question



A Voice for Men

This site is fascinating - seriously



So much there to go through - but this is my favorite so far:

We have equal rights now - so stop already



(Golly - wonder how that happened?)



:-)

Hey Spiram, equal pay for equal work for women must have happened this morning, it's unbelievable! (Shakes head side to side).

"It’s undeniable that women are losing ground. A study released earlier this week from the Pew Research Center reported that after decades of decline, more mothers—nearly 30 percent—are staying at home to raise children, a 6 percent increase since 1999. But these aren’t quite the women we often think of as stay-at-home moms, the ones choosing to rebel against the Sandberg manifesto and “opt out,” or who can rely on well-paid husbands to foot the bills. The women represented in the increase are younger, less likely to be white, more likely to be foreign-born, and less likely to be college educated. They’re staying at home in increasing numbers not by choice, but because they can’t find work—or the work they find isn’t well compensated enough to cover the necessary childcare. Perpetuating the cycle is the fact that, as Pew also reports, women are more likely to experience family-related “career disruptions.” They fall behind when they take time out to raise kids. They return to the workplace at a disadvantage."

"Whether women earn 77 cents to the male dollar, as the Obama administration sticks to, or the figure is closer to Pew’s findings of 84 cents for most women and as high as 93 percent for younger women, it’s clear that the playing field is not equal. It’s also clear that disparities are indeed related to gender. Recent cases have shown that women who ask for pay increases often don’t get them. What they get instead: negative reactions. A 2007 study found that women who asked for raises were perceived as demanding. Men, meanwhile, faced no backlash. Even Republicans concede that gender discrimination is no myth, and have offered an amendment to the Paycheck Fairness Act that would address the opportunity gap and prevent employers from retaliating against workers who share salary information."

www.forbes.com.../?&_suid=139878034702405038805100979086
www.pewresearch.org...

a reply to: InTheLight

Women get 77 cents for every dollar men make but men assume 93% of the workplace death ratio.

An extra 23 cents a dollar seems fine given the above statistic.

Don't ask for a link those numbers have been corroborated in multiple posts so far.

a reply to: InTheLight

Morning

See? You found something already :-) I wonder if the young woman in the video is really as interested in facts as she pretends

All of this is to be expected. When things start to feel better, especially if you have no personal experience or history to sift through and compare, it's easy to lose sight of the original struggle or understand the importance of any of it

While things here may feel equal, women in other parts of the world are still very far away from being able to enjoy feeling equal

Men have always had the freedom to dislike feminists - but at least now their dislike kinda highlights the positive parts of all this

originally posted by: corvuscorrax
a reply to: InTheLight

Women get 77 cents for every dollar men make but men assume 93% of the workplace death ratio.

An extra 23 cents a dollar seems fine given the above statistic.

Don't ask for a link those numbers have been corroborated in multiple posts so far.

What are the death statistics of battered women who worked at home?

originally posted by: Spiramirabilis
a reply to: InTheLight

Morning

See? You found something already :-) I wonder if the young woman in the video is really as interested in facts as she pretends

All of this is to be expected. When things start to feel better, especially if you have no personal experience or history to sift through and compare, it's easy to lose sight of the original struggle or understand the importance of any of it

While things here may feel equal, women in other parts of the world are still very far away from being able to enjoy feeling equal

Men have always had the freedom to dislike feminists - but at least now their dislike kinda highlights the positive parts of all this

Indeed, that is why I think today's young women (and young men) are confused and misplace their anger against each other and not where it should go - to those leaders that don't enforce justice and equality.

a reply to: InTheLight

What are the statistics of men who lose access to their children and home due to women having the obvious favor in the eyes of the courts?

We could toss numbers at each other all day.

I'll just agree to disagree on this one as feminism is a very polarizing issue and we'll never reach any sort of understanding short of conversing face to face.

originally posted by: corvuscorrax
a reply to: InTheLight

What are the statistics of men who lose access to their children and home due to women having the obvious favor in the eyes of the courts?

We could toss numbers at each other all day.

I'll just agree to disagree on this one as feminism is a very polarizing issue and we'll never reach any sort of understanding short of conversing face to face.

I believe the understanding and learning comes from these stats, as well as life's experiences. If you have encountered injustice within the law, then do something about it, just as the women's movement is trying to do.

a reply to: InTheLight

Freedom feminism or maternal feminism? Very interesting. At least she admitted feminism was radical. I'm sure like every ideology, there is a marginalized minority with more rational approaches.

I wonder how they are going to refrain from demonizing men while painting the picture that women are the only oppressed and men the only oppressors.

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
a reply to: InTheLight

 

Freedom feminism or maternal feminism? Very interesting. At least she admitted feminism was radical. I'm sure like every ideology, there is a marginalized minority with more rational approaches.

I wonder how they are going to refrain from demonizing men while painting the picture that women are the only oppressed and men the only oppressors.

If half the oppressors (government) were women, then that would solve that problem, if it ever existed.

I didn't read the first ten pages, yeah I'm a pain in the rear, get over it.
Others have probably even said everything that could possibly be said on this subject, and I will just be repeating it- I am guessing you'll continue to live just fine, dear reader.
I like that message boards are stimulation for us to reflect on a subject and express what opinions and thoughts we have come up in response- whether it has something educational for others, or not.

I just don't run into these extremist feminist types that so often get described here. Perhaps it is more of that american tendancy to have extremists in everything- moderation is not part of the american way.

But here is my take on the question of such practices as opening doors for women-

I have observed that in my relationship of 25 years with my husband (and in the previous less long term ones) I had things to learn from my male partner and he had things to learn from me.

From observing him and learning to accept his masculine ways of being, I learned the value of being self affirmative (being selfish), of choosing my own perception, my own opinion, my own path, and disregarding those of others. I learned self respect. Each time I relaxed and acknowledged that as something that has value, place and times in which he was right to be that way, I gave myself some permission to do so myself, and learned not to be a selfless welcome mat all the time for everyone around me. His egotistic ways rubbed off on me, and I needed a bit of that.

From watching me he learned respect of others; use of empathy, recognition of the vulnerabilities of others, that some are not as strong as himself, in ego or physically. Each time I insisted he be sensitive to me, or to the children, or to anyone around, and he learned to balance his selfishness with some otherness, and become a more balanced human being too.

The traditions like opening doors, offering a arm, or hand with heavy objects, are useful in encouraging men to be aware of others around and alert to their needs and vulnerabilities. I don't care if I can actually open that door myself, or carry that bag, I appreciate that this man is alert to others around him and making effort to be considerate of them. That makes the world a better place for the many children, elderly, or otherwise weakened individuals in my society.

Of course, it would be nice if he also recognizes my attempts to not be a passive aggressive martyring whining victim female, and speaking up with conviction about what I want and need and choose. If he has half a brain he'd recognize that that is better for him in the long run too.

Luckily my husband loves that I do that, and that he doesn't have to guess what I am thinking and what I want, risking all kinds of pouting, silent treatments, or other punishments if he gets the guessing game wrong......

Maybe it's not about YOU? Could that be the lesson in the experience???

a reply to: Spiramirabilis

That video was awful.