*pant* *pant* *COUGH* *wheeze...* (Whew!)
BREAKING UBER IMPORTANT SUPER NEWS OMG ALERT!!!!!!!!
INTERVIEW WITH A BUNNY KNAPPER
I just got back from a day-long investigative journalist jaunt around the world after doing the analysis on the ears (shudder) Destiny sent me...
*wheeze* Let me tell you...the rabbit hole just keeps getting deeper on this one, people... I think Destiny may have received a photo from a
copycat organization, the Eggsterminators, a known ring of egg-cereal-killers...It's a plateful to digest on THAT one, for sure! EBI are now tracking
this second group, and the Peeps are freaking out...
Now, more rabbit hole...
For one thing, the analysis said that the sample was NOT from our hostages! It also said...and this is where it gets freaky...that they were simply
HOLLOW CHOCOLATE BUNNY EAR EFFIGIES... Some kind of SICK joke THAT was... And the tin-foil hat conspiracy crowd are trying to claim that ALL the
hostages are just made out of chocolate? (belly laugh!) Whew! Those guys can really get worked up! lol!
So..I was off across the pond being...you know...intrepidy and reporterish when I stumbled on a MAJOR find:
I managed to get an interview with a member of the Choccy Bunny Unliberation Front, or CBUF...
I was not allowed any recording devices during the interview, and this is strictly an anonymous source...though he did allow a mostly shadowed
This nameless, and dare I say, tragic figure, was disgruntled with the movement. He said, because "Alls we wanted wert some "happy easter"
greetings...ya know? Sumthin' cracking fun and no' devious a'tall...S'all gettin' outta hand, I tell ya...poor bunnies, we dinna mean to go so
far...this weren't what I signed up for!"
I asked how we could be of assistance, how we could possibly save these bunnies now. Here was his chilling, yet somewhat hopeful reply: "Ach, I
dunno if I... 'ees gone nutters or not, Mr. Rodinus, that is, but if'in the good folks at ATS would step up and wish 'em a "happy easter" with all the
bows and ribbons and such, it might just turn his cold cold heart around...I canna guarantee it, now, no aftern the Bieber music's been floodin' the
bunker all'a this time...'Ee may be a lost cause..."
The final word from this strange fellow was to tell me his future plans, and I quote, "I'm in it to the end now...me Mum's baseme...I mean the Frenchy
bunker's all I 'ave now..."
It's a sad, sad tail...er...tale...
So, dear ATS, I believe he is telling the truth...perhaps if we stuff this thread with AMAZING Happy Easter messages filled with rainbowy goodness and
extra sparkles, maybe...just maybe...Mr. Rodinus will come out of his evil funk and FREE THE BUNNIES!!!
What say you ATS???
In an effort to build a bridge and calm the crisis, I offer this... *sniff* Carrot Vigils will continue...
peace and bunnies,
edit on 19-4-2014 by AboveBoard because: FONT MADNESS...
edit on 19-4-2014 by AboveBoard because: alignment
edit on 19-4-2014 by AboveBoard because: *sigh*