The evolution of the 'Porn Spam Mail'

You know what it is. You look into your junk mail and see a box full of 'Hot Young Teen' emails. You're bored so you open up one and you see the typical porno 'Free for 30 days Enter Here' photo.

But at the bottom of the post are those incoherent babbles. I'm going to call them Robo-Bables. It's usually just a phrase, mixture of letters or rambling. Well anyways, I opened up yet another one of these mails and I received probably the most philosphical babble to date:

Gero arte
A good garden may have some weeds.
Better a lean agreement than a fat lawsuit.
The whole problem is to establish communication with ones self.
To want fame is to prefer dying scorned than forgotten.

A family's photograph album is generally about the extended family and, often, is all that remains of it.

Though there are some disagreeable things in Venice there is nothing so disagreeable as the visitors. Art is an experience, not the formulation of a problem.The words of a dead man are modified in the guts of the living.Our hours in love have wings in absence, crutches.Men fear death, as if unquestionably the greatest evil, and yet no man knows that it may not be the greatest good. Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese
The end justifies the means.
Atheism is easy in fair weather.Even Pain pricks to livelier living.

We grow by our dreams.
It is only the modern that ever becomes old-fashioned.
Man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is.
Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.

[Edited on 12/1/2004 by Simulacra]

I have come to believe that that is put there to circumvent any spam blockers. Since spam blockers scan the message looking, if they see actual words they would think it could be an actual email.

Here is another one I received:

'Rats desert a sinking ship
A new broom sweeps clean, but the old brush knows all the corners.
Life is just a bowl of cherries

A huge part of real love is constant forgiveness.
In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has
Attack is the best form of defence
Hope springs eternal '

[edit on 12/1/2004 by Simulacra]

And another one...

Tschu?le Every person I work with knows something better than me. My job is to listen long enough to find it and use it.The slow man with integrity will ultimately catch the swift one who has none.
We have all the light we need, we just need to put it in practice.

Church attendance is as vital to a disciple as a transfusion of rich, healthy blood to a sick man.

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.

Earth laughs in flowers.

Christianity takes for granted the absence of any self-help and offers a power which is nothing less than the power of God.

You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your tricks of war.

It is function of government to invent philosophies to explain the demands of its own convenience.

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.Give a critic an inch, he'll write a play.
This monster of a land, this mightiest of nations, this spawn of the future, turns out to be the macrocosm of microcosm me.

How can I die? I'm booked. You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.

Ethics is in origin the art of recommending to others the sacrifices required for cooperation with oneself.Art is man's expression of his joy in labor. The fact is, the difference between peak performers and everybody else are much smaller than everybody else thinks.
We often pretend to fear what we really despise, and more often despise what we really fear.

How can Porn Spam Mail be so smart? It's Great! Here is another I just received.

Au sa tatau meu sa lako Make the most of all that comes and the least of all that goes.Win hearts, and you have hands and purses.
Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men, and men are great only if they are determined to be so.
Good friends are good for your health.Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs.

Lunch is for wimps.
Corporations cannot commit treason, or be outlawed or excommunicated, for they have no souls. To banish cares, scare away sorrow and soothe pain is the business of the poet and singer.

Not the glittering weapon fights the fight, but rather the hero's heart.
The lack of belief is a defect that ought to be concealed when it cannot be overcome.
He who dreads hostility too much is unfit to rule.
People with great gifts are easy to find, but symmetrical and balanced ones never.
You beat your Pate, and fancy Wit will come: Knock as you please, there's no body at home.

The curse of man, and the cause of nearly all his woe, is his stupendous capacity for believing the incredible.

Read your own compositions, and when you meet a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.
There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly.

Love is not altogether a delirium, yet it has many points in common therewith. Thought and theory must precede all salutary action yet action is nobler in itself than either thought or theory.

It is odd how nice some of the text is in porn spam emails once you get pass the naked ladies and the fake free trail stuff but mostly i just delete the whole bulk folder. I mean poor dieing people seem to get into my main inbox wanting me to collect there money so the added text even if it is nice probally is used to make sure it gets into one of your email folders.

I would post the title of the emails but they are too obscene. Another!

Ko mao a
America is an adorable woman chewing tobacco.

The difference between a saint and a hypocrite is that one lies for his religion, the other by it.

It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.
Whoever blushes confesses guilt, true innocence never feels shame.

Every time I hear that word, I cringe. Fun! I think it's disgusting it's just running around. It's not my idea of pleasure.
I see mysteries and complications wherever I look, and I have never met a steadily logical person. An angry father is most cruel toward himself.

The Pope is an idol whose hands are tied and whose feet are kissed.

You have to set new goals every day.
A fool often fails because he thinks what is difficult is easy.
I believe Mrs. Thatcher's emphasis on enterprise was right.
Fortune is a great deceiver. She sells very dear the things she seems to give us.
Men... are bettered and improved by trial, and refined out of broken hopes and blighted expectations.
Thou must be emptied of that wherewith thou art full, that thou mayest be filled with that whereof thou art empty.

Happiness is a positive cash flow.

We know nothing of what will happen in future, but by the analogy of experience.
As perfume to the flower, so is kindness to speech. To become a thoroughly good man is the best prescription for keeping a sound mind and a sound body

[edit on 12/2/2004 by Simulacra]

Perhaps a bit of editing and some grammer correction and you could combine them to make a nice work of fiction!

Here is some more from an email titled 'Unknown Star caught on photo'.

I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.
Children are given to us to discourage our better emotions.

The fact that logic cannot satisfy us awakens an almost insatiable hunger for the irrational. Here I stand I can do no other. God help me. Amen!
One thought driven home is better than three left on base.
Office without pay makes thieves.
Marriage, it seems, confines every man to his proper rank. If anyone tells you someone has changed their character don't believe it.
Examine what is said, not him who speaks.Culture is the arts elevated to a set of beliefs.
For as one star another far exceeds, So souls in heaven are placed by their deeds.
Attitude is your acceptance of the natural laws, or your rejection of the natural laws.
I cannot give the formula for success, but I can give you the formula of failure -- which is try to please everybody.No one is rich whose expenditures exceed his means, and no one is poor whose incomings exceed his outgoings.
We perceive and are affected by changes too subtle to be described.
An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?
Men may rise on stepping-stones of their dead selves to higher things.

And another from some email claiming they have 'Big Resolution photos'.

All farewells should be sudden, when forever.

I still believe that if your aim is to change the world, journalism is a more immediate short-term weapon.
Fear secretes acids but love and trust are sweet juices.

It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.
Friendship should be more than biting time can sever.Strange to see how a good dinner and feasting reconciles everybody.
Whenever I hear the word culture, I reach for my revolver.

You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country.
The modest person is usually admired, if people ever hear of them.

What greater reassurance can the weak have than that they are like anyone else?
Concentration and mental toughness are the margins of victory.He either fears his fate too much, Or his deserts are small, That dares not put it to the touch, To gain or lose it all.
Musical comedies aren't written, they are rewritten.

If you have not often felt the joy of doing a kind act, you have neglected much, and most of all yourself. A thick skin is a gift from God.

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it is also more nourishing.
Always seek out the seed of triumph in every adversity.
Borrow trouble for yourself, if that's your nature, but don't lend it to your neighbors.

If you ask me, this stuff is just pure gold. Who goes through the time to write all these incoherent phrases just to promote porn? Here is another.

The purest and most thoughtful minds are those which love color the most.
Once in a while it really hits people that they don't have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.

If a man knows not what harbor he seeks, any wind is the right wind.

The essence of the beautiful is unity in variety.Someone who always has to lie discovers that every one of his lies is true.

'Tis not what man does which exalts him, but what man Would do!
When deeds speak, words are nothing.

A good coach will make his players see what they can be rather than what they are.

Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter.

Wherever you are it is your own friends who make your world.

Effective communication is 20 what you know and 80 how you feel about what you know. It is from the womb of art that criticism was born.
The uncommitted life isn't worth living.
Dreams have their place in managerial activity, but they need to be kept severely under control. There is a devil in every berry of the grape.Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.
It is rare indeed that there is not ample occasion for grumbling.
In the case of good books, the point is not how many of them you can get through, but rather how many can get through to you.

More Porn Poetry I received today.

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it. The word is control. That's my ultimate -- to have control.
Even truth needs to be clad in new garments if it is to appeal to a new age.

Few people rise to our esteem upon closer scrutiny.

I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections, and the truth of imagination.
The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat one's self. All sin is easy after that.

Frankly, I don't want to see a rapid upturn. I want it to hold until some of these idiotic competitors go bust.Lovers should also have their days off. In America, the photographer is not simply the person who records the past, but the one who invents it.
If you expect nothing, you're apt to be surprised. You'll get it. The deferring of anger is the best antidote to anger.

Jumping to conclusions can be a bad exercise
It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them. Some folks won't look up until they are flat on their backs

Who loves me loves my dog. Baseball is like church. Many attend few understand. Enthusiasm: A little thing that makes a BIG difference.
Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.

They keep coming, and I'm going to continue to post until I make sense of this stuff.

Force is that which rules the actions without regulating the will.

What you do is more important than how much you make, and how you feel about it is more important than what you do.
Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

He who gives while he lives, get to know where it goes.

You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country.

What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight it's the size of the fight in the dog.
I can live for two months on a good compliment.

A wicked book cannot repent.Life is a horizontal fall.

You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat.
There is nothing noble in being superior to some other person. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.
It is not length of life, but depth of life.
Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment.
It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.

Anger is one of the sinews of the soul he that wants it hath a maimed mind.

Never be lucid, never state, if you would be regarded great.

You cannot be friends upon any other terms than upon the terms of equality.

A cheerful face is nearly as good for an invalid as healthy weather.

Mas. Check out the last statement on the quote.

Their is a road from the eye to heart that does not go through the intellect.

We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.
To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another.

Our salvation is in striving to achieve what we know we'll never achieve.

Affliction comes to us, not to make us sad but sober not to make us sorry but wise.
There is no arguing with him, for if his pistol misses fire, he knocks you down with the butt end of it. In the Church, considered as a social organism, the mysteries inevitably degenerate into beliefs.

Life is a flower of which love is the honey.
Do the thing we fear, and the death of fear is certain. The self-styled intellectual who is impotent with pen and ink hungers to write history with sword and blood.
The world itself is pregnant with failure, is the perfect manifestation of imperfection, of the consciousness of failure.

Dancing is a wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it.
Are you then unable to recognize unless it has the same sound as yours?

Habits are cobwebs at first cables at last.

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else. We've got a lemon factory and we're turning out 80-85 percent lemons.
Rich folks always talk hard times.

Hail Caesar, those who are about to die salute you.

god lord, I'd like to get that mess jsut for the gibberish you had put up here...

Gibberish yes. Brillant, of course. Who knew porn could be so educational? Another email.

When a man gets talking about himself, he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime.

Harold, like the rest of us, had many impressions which saved him the trouble of distinct ideas.

Idealists are foolish enough to throw caution to the winds. They have advanced mankind and have enriched the world.

To withdraw is not to run away, and to stay is no wise action, when there's more reason to fear than to hope.

Fashionabilty is a kind of elevated vulgarity. Knowledge is the most democratic source of power. It takes all the fun out of a bracelet if you have to buy it yourself.A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.

Cards were at first for benefits designed, sent to amuse, not to enslave the mind. If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them .

One cool judgment is worth a thousand hasty counsels. The thing to do is to supply light and not heat. Excellence is the gradual result of always striving to do better.

Love works a different way in different minds, the fool it enlightens and the wise it blinds.Liberty consists in wholesome restraint.

The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted.
There cannot be greater rudeness than to interrupt another in the current of his discourse.
What good is it if I talk in flowers while you're thinking in pastry?
We must not always judge of the generality of the opinion by the noise of the acclamation.

Lately this is all that interest me. It's becoming an obsession. Here is another one from an email claiming that 'Cute moms want to cheat with me'

Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you.
A good hitting instructor is able to mold his teaching to the individual. If a guy stands on his head, you perfect that. They can't censor the gleam in my eye.
Fortune is a great deceiver. She sells very dear the things she seems to give us.
People love others not for who they are, but for how they make them feel.

A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm.

Immature love says: ''I love you because I need you.'' Mature love says: ''I need you because I love you.''

There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
No cord or cable can draw so forcibly, or bind so fast, as love can do with a single thread.The man never feels the want of what it never occurs to him to ask for.

No one is as deaf as the man who will not listen.
The future is as bright as the promises of God.
The pleasure we feel in music springs from the obedience which is in it.
The most important outcome of education is to help students become independent of formal education.

Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.
To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.
The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.
Be wary of the man who urges an action in which he himself incurs no risk.

You guessed right. Another one. These things just don't stop.

That which is so universal as death must be a benefit.
In pain is a new time born. What are kings, when regiment is gone, but perfect shadows in a sunshine day?

Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content.
If you're not sure where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.
Though the people support the government the government should not support the people.
The greatest problem in the world today is intolerance. Everyone is so intolerant of each other.
Everybody denies I am a genius --but nobody ever called me one!
To begin, begin. I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
Never ask the Gods for life set free from grief, but ask for courage that endureth long.
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.

Character is a by-product it is produced in the great manufacture of daily duty.
I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means. Genuine polemics approach a book as lovingly as a cannibal spices a baby. Don't fear change -- embrace it.

Hatred does not cease through hatred at any time. Hatred ceases through love. This is an unalterable law.

No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth

Here is another from some email proclaiming that a mother is cheating on her husband. Great stuff.

We are merely the stars tennis-balls, struck and bandied which way please them.
It takes a lot of time to be a genius. You have to sit around so much doing nothing, really doing nothing. Bankers know that history is inflationary and that money is the last thing a wise man will hoard.
If begging should unfortunately be thy lot, knock at the large gates only.

There is no education like adversity.
At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one's lost self.

Happiness to a dog is what lies on the other side of a door.

Men long for an afterlife in which there apparently is nothing to do but delight in heaven's wonders.

Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance. Like art and politics, gangsterism is a very important avenue of assimilation into society.
The pseudonym for God when He did not want to sign.
No mans error becomes his own Law nor obliges him to persist in it.
No great man lives in vain. The history of the world is but the biography of great men.
Tell me what brand of whiskey that Grant drinks. I would like to send a barrel of it to my other generals.

The keeping of bees is like the direction of sunbeams. Diligence is the mother of good luck.

A government, for protecting business only, is but a carcass, and soon falls by its own corruption and decay. Common Sense is in medicine the master

I really dig the opening line on this one.

There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.
God is day and night, winter and summer, war and peace, surfeit and hunger. When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her.
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt.
The way of the world is, to praise dead saints, and persecute living ones.

The poetic notion of infinity is far greater than that which is sponsored by any creed. I like America, just as everybody else does. I love America, I gotta say that. But America will be judged.
Man is an animal that makes bargains no other animal does this--one dog does not change a bone with another.

Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead.
A bureaucrat is a person who cuts red tape sideways. Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right!
I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. The object of government in peace and in war is not the glory of rulers or of races, but the happiness of the common man.

A faith to live by, a self to live with, and a purpose to live for.Let your character be kept up the very end, just as it began, and so be consistent.
Never be lucid, never state, if you would be regarded great.Correspondences are like small clothes before the invention of suspenders it is impossible to keep them up.
A good and faithful judge ever prefers the honorable to the expedient.