Andre Johnson severs Manhood in suicide attempt!?

Sounds to me like the dude...

*puts on sunglasses*

Lost his head.

YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

...sorry, couldn't resist.

Double post.

Maybe he was schizophrenic and it started talking to him??
Kinda like that one scene from Bruno..

BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!
That's not a cry for help...that's a recipe for a straitjacket and a lifetime thorazine drip!
But not to worry...he'll be out of rehab (and surgery) in time to release a new single...afterall, it's in his contract and while you may be able to cheat the Devil, you can't cheat Sony.
Even if he did a suicide, there'd still be music releases from beyond the grave for the next decade...kinda like with Tupac.
(Not to mention all those "I had sex with Andre Johnson" threads that become more prolific than "Elvis is still alive" threads)
We should just elect this guy as POTUS.
Just think about it for a moment.
He couldn't possibly be any worse than Obama and we'll know for a fact that anyone who tries to "Lewinsky" him is a liar. Think of all the billable hours we'd save in legal fees alone? It would balance the freakin' budget!

-Peace-

Not sure about you guys, but i noticed nearly EVERY celebrity or notable public figure ends up going to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Most likely it's just because of the concentration of them living in that region of LA but wow, are there no other hospitals or does this one specifically exist to cater to the rich while the peons get treated at county hospitals?

He probably smoked some dust and flipped out. I used to know some people that smoked it. Couple of em flipped out and killed themselves. Sounds like the culprit to me.

Maybe he was possessed by the spirit of Ol' Dirty Bastard aka Big Baby Jesus aka Dirt McGirt aka The Specialist aka Osirus because he wasnt down with the Shaolin Stylin'

I could see ODB returning from the grave to do something like that.

stargatetravels
Well I am quite sure it is not demon possession because that does not exist.

Well I am quite sure it DOES exist.
But first the mental health issues need to be addressed.
That's where these things usually lead to.
TMZ is reporting that the severed item can not be reattached.

reply to post by FlyersFan


Can't be re-attached? Expect more suicide attempts from him. I guess he'll have to change his name from Andre Johnson to Andre Nothing.

I was just reading the other day about a !6th century Micronesian king named Isokelekel who supposedly decided to commit suicide by tying his penis to a doubled over palmtree and releasing the tree. This was sufficient to rip his gentlemen's sausage off causing him to bleed to death.

If he was especially religious perhaps he was fulfilling the "If thine right eye offend thee, cut it off." scenario like that man several years ago who gouged out his own eyes in church. I would think some underlying mental issue or drugs would be necessary for one to have the conviction to do such a thing.

a reply to: FlyersFan

TMZ also reported, no hard drugs were involved..
Very bizarre story..

Yah a fail to see the logic in this. Although logic may not have been considered in this suicide attempt. It's like cleaning your house spotless before you burn it to the ground. Why bother with all that additional effort.

Plus he now has to add Failure to whatever list of stuff that made him do this to himself in the first place. Not that suicide should ever be the answer, but if I was ever to choose it, I'd damn sure plan to be successful at it.

a reply to: mOjOm

www.nydailynews.com...enis-report-article-1.1761433


he was high on PCP....and I don't think they can reattach because he cut it off.... PIECE....BY....PIECE (shudders at the thought and I am a girl)

a reply to: research100

ahh....so it was drugs. That makes much more sense. Thanx for the update. Although I'm not sure I needed the additional info on the multiple severed pieces of Wu Tangs, Wu Wang...

Man, some drugs really are BAD!!! Really Really BAD!!!

a reply to: research100

Thank God I wasn't eating...no words i might cry myself to bed tonight

a reply to: mOjOm

I can see the anti drug poster now.

Here's your Johnson...Here's your Johnson on PCP....

Nooooooooooo...I didn't just say that...did I?

Des

a reply to: Destinyone

Seriously though, that may have actually worked. I remember those commercials and all the jokes about them that came after but had they done it your way, I don't think people would have been laughing or joking about it. It might even come with the added benefit of stopping people from watching the TV so much too.

I know for me personally, back when I still watched TV, whenever one of those SPCA animal abuse commercials came on I couldn't shut the TV off fast enough. Even just hearing the music at the start of it would make me rush in from another room just to stop it.

a reply to: research100

I just read your link you posted and,
OMFG!!!
To think he was PCP'd out of his mind and most likely not even suicidal.
I hurt for this young, talented man. please let this be a reminder to all that..
Drugs ARE BAD!!!

a reply to: DenyFlatulence

Maybe his counselor told him that this is what happens when you smoke PCP and to be a wiseass he did, and he did. Maybe we should start telling kids that they definitely should smoke pcp and dismember the member, in the patently misguided and irresponsible hopes that they don't.

I was almost thinking that it was the football player Andre Johnson protesting against possibly having to catch passes from Johnny Football in Houston.

On another sidenote, the Wu-Tang Clan is set to record the most expensive album of all-time.