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How to Feel Helpless

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posted on Apr, 11 2014 @ 01:57 PM
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This is really making me feel bad, as in I want to really bawl bad.

I was driving home today and passed a lady walking up the side of the Interstate. There was no car to indicate that she'd had car trouble or anything like that. She was dressed up nice - skirt, nice shoes and a coat (odd because it was low 70s). She was carrying a large bag to go with it. She didn't look particularly disheveled as far as I could tell.

But it was clear that something was wrong. She was walking with a stiff-legged gait, staggering into and out of traffic. She looked like she was disoriented, lost. Either something had happened to her or she was drunk or stoned.

No one walks alongside a busy interstate like that. She almost got hit by at least one car and had traffic slowed trying to not hit her.

Of course, I called 911 right away, and I wasn't alone because I was in the middle of talking with the operator when she told me that someone else had also reported it and they had it taken care. So, I was right in my instincts that something was off enough to report it.

But I can't get her out of my head. Here she was ... walking right up to the bridge over the river, all dressed up, possibly drunk as if she had prepared herself to go jump off. Good-bye.

What do you do? As a woman alone, you can't just stop. You don't know what you're doing to be dealing with. You could be putting yourself in as much danger as the person you're trying to help may already be in and that's traffic aside, but it doesn't change the fact that you feel like there should be more you could have done. And it doesn't change the fact that you'll never know if you actually managed to help by calling or if you made it worse. And was she really trying to jump?





posted on Apr, 11 2014 @ 02:06 PM
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reply to post by ketsuko
 


Don't feel hopeless. You did do something, even if it was only a phone call. And it seems someone else did as well. I wonder how many cars passed here without thinking twice.



posted on Apr, 11 2014 @ 02:07 PM
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Helping, at least real helping has a cost.

What do you do?

Well if you want to help, you take the risk.

Look at the Tosh.0 producer that got shot, apparently he was trying to help the victim's of a knife attack when he was shot by the police.

If theres time, you help smartly.

If theres not, again you make a choice.

that all comes down to the individual.

Is your life so precious that you would disregard another on the CHANCE you could get hurt helping.

That is something only each one of us can ask ourselves, and none of us know until we are in that moment.



posted on Apr, 11 2014 @ 02:09 PM
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reply to post by ketsuko
 


Kudos to you for calling that in. Was she elderly? My grandmother acted like that near the end of her life, she'd be fine mentally and then all of sudden want to go wandering and she wasn't herself for a while.



posted on Apr, 11 2014 @ 02:20 PM
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It's terrible that in the times we live in,we have to decide to be good samaritans from a distance,because the life you are trying to save could turn out to be your own. You did the right thing by calling,and in your circumstances it was all you could do. I think in situations like this we always overthink things,believing we should have done more,or done it different. Thing is...many drove by,you took action. Praise yourself. You may have saved a life today.



posted on Apr, 11 2014 @ 02:30 PM
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With all the police violence, and brutality we see here, calling the police wouldn't have been an option in my book.
Stop and ask if she needs help.



posted on Apr, 11 2014 @ 02:45 PM
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reply to post by benrl
 


No where near what the OP went through, but yesterday while driving to the store, there were some large garbage cans being blown all over the road. Back and forth. People were damn near running into each other to avoid a empty plastic trash can.


So I figured it'd be the nice thing to do and get them out of the road, pulled over and drug them to someone's front yard. Traffic is not fast on this road, but it was heavy with everyone getting off of work. Damn near got run over twice. Both of the idiots were on their cell phones. I think I took 5 years off one of the ladies life when I yelled at her. She didn't even see me.



posted on Apr, 11 2014 @ 03:00 PM
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reply to post by ketsuko
 

I'd have stopped and asked if they were alright and needed any help. I would have asked one more time, and drove off...maybe calling 911 if it seemed appropriate.



posted on Apr, 11 2014 @ 03:02 PM
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TDawgRex
reply to post by benrl
 


No where near what the OP went through, but yesterday while driving to the store, there were some large garbage cans being blown all over the road. Back and forth. People were damn near running into each other to avoid a empty plastic trash can.


So I figured it'd be the nice thing to do and get them out of the road, pulled over and drug them to someone's front yard. Traffic is not fast on this road, but it was heavy with everyone getting off of work. Damn near got run over twice. Both of the idiots were on their cell phones. I think I took 5 years off one of the ladies life when I yelled at her. She didn't even see me.


Every one seems to shirk their civic duty now days,

Taking a "let someone else deal with it"

But honestly, you could of saved a life, inattentive motorist and debris in the road is a danger.

From my narrow and limited experience it seems we have managed to raise a few generations that lost that civic mindedness where you looked out for your fellow man.



posted on Apr, 11 2014 @ 04:07 PM
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benrl

Every one seems to shirk their civic duty now days,

Taking a "let someone else deal with it"

But honestly, you could of saved a life, inattentive motorist and debris in the road is a danger.

From my narrow and limited experience it seems we have managed to raise a few generations that lost that civic mindedness where you looked out for your fellow man.


There is a part of me that says, "Stop doing that! You don't move as fast as you used to. (Bad Back)

One of these days, doing the right thing is gonna get me killed.
Because I keep on doing what needs to be done at the time.



posted on Apr, 11 2014 @ 04:27 PM
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You say she appeared drunk. Sometimes a diabetic person will act this way. She might have had diabetes. Maybe she had mental issues or it could have been a number of other things. Hope the poor lady is ok.



posted on Apr, 11 2014 @ 04:55 PM
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For the record, I grew up in Ca. low 70's is coat weather.

I find it sad that no one stopped to see if she was ok.



posted on Apr, 11 2014 @ 06:49 PM
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reply to post by benrl
 


By the time you see it and it hits you that it's really something wrong, it was one of things where you are gone by so fast that you'd be a mile or more down the road by the time you get stopped.

I would have had to stop and get back along full speed traffic with not much shoulder to speak of and across it then deal with someone behaving erratically for unknown reasons, possibly putting both myself and her at more risk depending on the reaction to my intervention. Had I not been alone or even a man ... but I was and a woman.



posted on Apr, 11 2014 @ 07:03 PM
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reply to post by ketsuko
 


I think you did the right thing, you hit it right on the head, you didn't know what was wrong with her and she may have bolted into the road or somewhere else where she might have been injured had you just shown up and surprised her not to mention injuries others may have suffered.



posted on Apr, 11 2014 @ 07:20 PM
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ketsuko
reply to post by benrl
 


By the time you see it and it hits you that it's really something wrong, it was one of things where you are gone by so fast that you'd be a mile or more down the road by the time you get stopped.

I would have had to stop and get back along full speed traffic with not much shoulder to speak of and across it then deal with someone behaving erratically for unknown reasons, possibly putting both myself and her at more risk depending on the reaction to my intervention. Had I not been alone or even a man ... but I was and a woman.




I dunno,

What if they had a knife, or a gun.

What if they just escaped a mental institution.

We can play what if all day, No need to justify your actions.


A big strong man, can get shot by a crazy person just as easily as the fairer sex, you called the cops, you did what you could where you could.

No need to rely on gender for an excuse for actions, It doesn't matter the risk, there all the same if you play What if in that moment.

Either you chose to help someone in need, or you don't.

You did, you informed the authorities.

AS for doing more? sure you could of, but was it called for?

Should you have done more than you did? I dunno, Im not judging, the fact that you felt compelled to write a thread on it, makes me think you might think otherwise?



posted on Apr, 11 2014 @ 07:37 PM
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reply to post by ketsuko
 


I was driving the short distance home from Target today, after shopping and in the opposite lane not 50 feet in front of me an suv just turned for no obvious reason and went straight into a concrete barrier.
Literally right on top of the accident now, since I was moving, I could see the head of the driver consumed by the airbag. The horn was stuck on, the air bag had gone off with that puff of white smoke creeping out of all the windows that were cracked open, I slowed to a crawl with the car in front of me. I wanted to help but I didn't, I just watched the woman in the car ahead of me dial 911 and traffic from the oncoming lane start to stop and build up.
Completely stopped now, still watching, many bystanders started to get out of there cars, cell phones in hand. The first vehicle in the oncoming lane was a tow-truck by irony, the male driver quickly walked to the door of the disabled vehicle and opened it. The woman inside rolled and fell out. The man was obviously startled, for he looked like he was trying to jump back and catch her, both at the same time. As we found out a few minutes later, she was dead from a heart attack or stroke. Lying there 20 feet in front of me.

Seeing this today affected me in a way similar to how I felt you felt when I read your post. I can't wrap my mind around how a women in her late 50's, with all her memories, life ambitions, family and desires all came to an end right there in front of me on some random road 2 minutes from my home. Even though I never knew her, I feel terrible for those that loved her.
I believe everything happens for a reason. So far the only reason I can come up with, why I had to witness this horrible event, was to face some of the thoughts I'm still feeling now.



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