Something I suffer with is constant deeja vu. It comes randomly, but almost predictably. Each new phase in my life I've felt when a cycle ends, and a
new one starts, but it is never something i haven't already been prepared for; a decision I've already made. When you think about it, if we took a
snapshot of our current "Person" "Character", "Soul" (Call it whatever you want) and put it in multiple environments we can assume it would respond
predictably and consistently to that current person's psychological, theological, and spiritual systems within themselves. Such an example are dreams,
and we dream often.. As i found myself working on bettering my inner being, i have discovered ugly truths about myself in dreams more than anything
else. At first I rejected it and told myself.. no i would never do that or no, that couldn't be me. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is look in the
mirror and analyze ourselves of who we truly are, and who we truly should
be. But the truth of the matter is that the very snapshot we took
earlier, is how our real life reflects. Take that same person with an alcohol addiction and he will sneak alcohol into work, or go after work to the
bar, or drink at home, etc. Whatever the environment, the priority of a person's heart will show. This kind of character eventually has its
consequences, right? When the decisions we make in life affect our normal routine, we begin to analyze ourselves and to what might be the problem.
Some locate it, some don't. Some deal with it, others don't. Both sides of the moral scale have its consequences, though.
So what right? Well i write this because i was among the people who struggled with serious addictions. Addictions of alcoholism, and sexual
promiscuity. Things that, even while doing it, i didn't want to do; but i did them anyways. I'd go to sleep feeling empty and i asked myself, "How is
it possible that i do something i don't want to do?" This is MY life and "I" control it. The truth of the matter is, it is because of the condition of
our hearts. When our hearts don't change, the mind doesn't have but temporary relief from the condition we suffer from. Even the strongest minds,
after a while, forget--and we continue after the desires we have inside. So one day when we die, we will hover over our body and maybe even see our
memories and our actions.. and how can we deny then that the things we did in our life were truly the things we wanted
I know I can't be the only one trying to progress spiritually and mentally and has difficultly bending to the way i want to be. Any thoughts?
Please don't be the person that says, "yes i already know this", "yeah that was from the matrix", because if so many "know" the truth then why is
everyone in such a spiritual mess. I believe knowing, and applying are two different things.
edit on 8-4-2014 by WorthlessServant because: