Disabled Parking Spots and Assumptions

A little baground, i'm 36 yo woman with a total anterior hip replcement in the left hip and still need another total hip replacement in my right hip. Doc says when at 40 yo he will replace the other one, unless it's needed prior due to chronic pain or mobility issues. So needless to say I have a blue placard that is issued from the DMV that allows parking in disabled parking spots, even if I am not the driver.

I am sick and tired of being looked at like I should not be parking in a disabled spot. I have been yelled and screamed at but what happened to me the other day was unacceptable. I was pulling in to a spot and I could see this woman eyeing me, watching me hard core. After parking, I crossed the street and began to walk in to the store and the same lady came screaming, yelling and cusing me out while jaywalking because "I have the audacity to park in a disabled spot with out a placard." I calmly let the woman know she needed to step back and give me space, she litteraly had me corned between the wall and the door. Asked her to look at at the car again and tell me what she sees. I could see the placard hanging proudly in my window, the one I need to have as a person with disbilites.

This lady continued with her rants, threats and foul language, assuming because I am young (I look a lot younger than 36) that I must not fit the requirements or that I stole the placard from my grandmother. I finally had to tell her if she does not back up I will call the police. Last thing I need is some lady with preconcieved notions about who is and is not disabled, trying to push me down and dislocating my hip. I even had shorts on and showed her the scars from my hip replacement. She didn't care. Once I told her that I am going to call the police she backed up and said "why don't you do that you lying 6@@@@."

Finally the lady in the store came out and vouched for me, being a regualr customer of hers, she knew I had one and use the placard all the time. It's hard for me to let go, I honestly thought this lady was going to assault me.

If you see someone parking in a spot that does not look like they are disabled, remember you can't see pain and not all disabilities are visable. Do not assume they don't need or deserve a placard. Also, if you dont see a placard they might have just forgotten to hang it in their window, I am guilty of that. Before jumping to conclusions let the store know. You never know whats going on in someone elses life.

reply to post by Jennyfrenzy


They are all just jealous you get the best spots.
Nah, in all seriousness I'm not handicapped, so I don't feel like it's my job to police those parking spots.
You keep on parking in those spots, it sounds like you deserve it.
Im just glad when it's not another obese person who has to park in close proximity the Jazzy chairs.

reply to post by rangerdanger


Haha! Thanks

Its super annoying! Don't understand why the parking lot "police" can't just ask instead of screaming and calling me nasty names. I am also heavily tattooed, probably does not help with peoples preconcieved notions.

reply to post by Jennyfrenzy


So sorry you went though this. My husband has advised that I get one, I would certainly qualify, but I know that since I don't "look the part" I would be subject to that kind of crap. Honestly, there are only a few days here and there that I would really need it.

Thanks for sharing, sometimes we forget these things and need to be reminded.

reply to post by chelsdh


Thanks!

Get one! The benefits outweigh the yucky looks and remarks It does, however get annoying.

Don't use mine all the time, only if needed due to pain or parking is super far away.

reply to post by Jennyfrenzy

I hear ya and understand the animosity for sure. This is an issue that people get heated about as I have seen it in parking lots too. Some people's heart may be in the right place but how we communicate with one another surely affects the outcome. She was wrong to get all hyped up.

Not that you should have to, but maybe putting one of those tags on your rear view whenever you pull into a spot may prevent this from happening again. I understand not wanting to have it up all the time, but when you pull into a space, hang that sucker up so people don't get the wrong idea, if for no other reason than to keep people from tripping out.

reply to post by Jennyfrenzy


As someone who is also heavily tattooed, I can agree.
I haven't been assaulted by any crazy bag ladies though, so I think she was just pissed she had to walk through the parking lot.
I hope you are feeling better, try and forget the crazy lady

reply to post by Jennyfrenzy


I'm angry to hear about one of my favorite ATS thread OP's getting this kind of harassment!
I notice people like this all the time. The self-ordained crusaders of of handicap parking spaces, who think it's their personal job to police handicap spots.. I always think to myself, don't you have anything else better to do??
She could have at least apologized to you!!

The whole ATS community has your back Jennyfrenzy.

It is terrible how some people act, if they gave placards for mental retardation, that women deserves it!

I wish though more places were like Babies R' US and other retailers using the 'Expectant Mom's Parking', 'Customer with Kids' or even something else as a standard. These are not enforceable but most NORMAL people don't park in these spots unless they fit the guidelines mentioned on the sign.
Most don't experience hell until trying to get a couple kids in one car, with packages and car seats in the rain!

You're the perfect example of why disabled permits were invented. And unfortunately also an example of why people over-react. I had to learn this myself many years ago when I learned about MS. It doesn't show always. People with MS can look very normal, but their endurance is zilch; they tire easily. They need to get in and out of a store as fast as possible or they will collapse.

BUT...

There is a lot of abuse of the privilege, just as there is abuse of what constitutes being "disabled" in this country. People get permits under false pretenses, or they "borrow" permits of a relative. Observe:

A 2010 city report estimated that on any given day in downtown Seattle, between 30 percent and 40 percent of spaces were filled with vehicles with disabled parking permits, and at least 10 percent of those placards were inactive.

Source

Now this is not an account of taking up the three or four spaces in a grocery store parking lot, but taking up to 40% of ALL spaces in an entire downtown area known for its lack of parking. But this does show that disabled parking permits are a hot commodity. Surely 30-40% of the population of Seattle is not disabled, yet the "disabled" take that percentage of parking spots. Further, about 5% of ALL parking spaces are taken up by fakers, about 1 in 20 slots (roughly).

Your account of this pervert who accosted you is outrageous and there is no excuse for it at all, You shouldn't have to be in a wheel chair or on crutches to "prove" your disability. But you are looking at it from your point of view:

"I am really disabled and I deserve this parking spot." And you are right, but other people are thinking,

"I know half the people using these permits are not disabled, and that's not fair!" And they are right, too. SOME of them may need to be educated a little more. And it's not "half," of course. They're exaggerating.

So maybe there is a way you can understand this. People angry at UN-disabled people taking up a disabled space are looking out for your interests. They want those spots to be reserved for the truly disabled, not the fakers. You can tell this because they themselves are not about to park in a disabled space. They don't abuse the issue and they don't want other people to either.

reply to post by Jennyfrenzy


I'm so sorry, Jennyfrenzy. Sometimes I think that people are getting more randomly hostile and kind of demented. I watched a guy completely flip out in a store where the cashier had accidentally rung up something twice and had fixed the issue. His level of animosity just did not even match the provocation. It was crazy and so is the lady who did this to you.

I'm in my 40's and look very young. Just about everything inside me is defective. Ironically enough though, I tend to look rosy cheeked due to Lupus. The things I've heard over the years about my being "sick" when I look so darn healthy. Sometimes I feel like I need to be carrying around my three inch thick medical file (I call it "War and Peace") to shove into their faces. That's not even about a parking spot. People are dumb and some people are just outright nuts.

Like this woman for sure. You're a brave lady, Jenny. It's not easy, when "you don't look sick", to do what you need to do to protect yourself without risking hostile approbation from total strangers.

Here is an interesting news article from The Washington Post I just found with someone running into the same problem..

Think this is the correct response..

If they're rude and say, "You don't look like you're handicapped," the proper reply is: "You don't look like you're stupid, but appearances can be deceiving."

www.washingtonpost.com...

reply to post by schuyler


The problem with thinking in these terms is when does a non-disabled person have a right to act like a police officer (they can't even ticket the person accused) for whether or not they are truly disabled? They don't. I see people all the time parking in the disabled spots that look like they may not need it. However, as being someone that has a hidden disability, I know better than to accost them about it. I'd rather be in err on presuming that the person may actually need it than to be someone forcing an individual to reveal their medical history in a parking lot.

WhiteAlice
reply to post by schuyler

 

The problem with thinking in these terms is when does a non-disabled person have a right to act like a police officer (they can't even ticket the person accused) for whether or not they are truly disabled? They don't. I see people all the time parking in the disabled spots that look like they may not need it. However, as being someone that has a hidden disability, I know better than to accost them about it. I'd rather be in err on presuming that the person may actually need it than to be someone forcing an individual to reveal their medical history in a parking lot.

I NEVER SUGGESTED that accosting a person was the right way to handle it, so don't put actions in my post that weren't there in the first place. But the fact is there are ways to handle this:

services.flhsmv.gov...
www.dmv.org...
www.uctc.net...
www.handicappedfraud.org...
sacramento.cbslocal.com...
www.ilsos.gov...

reply to post by Jennyfrenzy


I know exactly how you feel... I'm 34 and have had a placard since I was 25 due to my disability. I've been harassed by all sorts of people even security and police. I once had a lady so mad that I parked in a disabled spot that she got a cop friend of hers to write me a ticket even though my placard was displayed. The ticket conveniently disappeared from my car and I did not find out I got one until my car registration was due. Luckily I could prove I was legal and got the ticket dismissed.

I will say that I don't think it's right that everyone can keep their placard indefinitely. Here in Cali it's an honor system where you're supposed to relinquish your placard if you no longer need it but I don't know anyone who has given theirs up willingly. There are so many people with them these days that many times there are no spots left to use them.

I will say that I don't park in the spots just bc I can. If I'm having a good day and feel I can walk farther then I park in a regular spot so that someone else may use the disabled spot.

chelsdh
reply to post by Jennyfrenzy

 

So sorry you went though this. My husband has advised that I get one, I would certainly qualify, but I know that since I don't "look the part" I would be subject to that kind of crap. Honestly, there are only a few days here and there that I would really need it.

Thanks for sharing, sometimes we forget these things and need to be reminded.

I'm in the same situation, could get one but don't yet consider it completely necessary. Have good and bad days, and the shopping cart acts like a faux walker already for. I do need it even for just a couple of purchases, and often avoid large stores, they're too hard to walk through and it takes days to recover from the outing.

My spirit refuses this, and keeps seeking healing and restoration, so would rather not see the visible reminder of something that is not a part of my belief system, hanging on my car. But that only goes so far of course.

MS makes you tired too, and I'm sure others do. My zero functioning thyroid, chronic fatigue, collapsing system for which I've had surgery, arthritis and gout, all take their toll. I look a mall and can't even stand to go through large shops, though we have to for the family to save money and will frequently choose the smaller slightly overpriced place that I can get in and out of in a short outing.

Also who goes around policing handicapped spots. Could understand if there was security around in the parking lot, like we've actually had in some of our grocery stores, but not ordinary people, in the least.

Even when I see someone take the spot, no placard, just run in and out to get things, when there was no other parking, would never say anything. I'm not their mom, they're not raping and murdering, or enslaving others as our leaders do, just an ordinary person. Who goes around getting in others faces to begin with, its incredibly rude!

I have one, but I can't drive, so it's normally when my brother drives me around we use it. I have a brain tumour , but to look at me you'd never know.
So when people see 2 young guys rocking up to a disabled bay, we get some pretty strange looks. I tell my brother to park in bay's furthest away, but he doesn't care, he just takes the nearest one, which can be a bit embarrassing, but I think he does it for some mischievous fun to make me squirm.
I think he wants the possible confrontation so he can "out do" their sickness with mine.

reply to post by schuyler


My point was this--does a total stranger have the ability or right to judge whether a person is disabled or not? Even going ahead and reporting that abuse occurred with a placard is still based on a whole lot of unwarranted assumptions. What does reporting a possible violation do to an individual who is falsely accuse of abuse? According to one of your links, abuse of the placard may result in cancellation and revocation of the placard, itself.

Now, what if this crazy woman that accosted Jenny, instead made a scathing report of abuse to one of those sites? Jenny could have lost her very necessary placard because of someone's ignorance. Again, it's still having to defend oneself against some total stranger than has no bloody clue as to what their medical record is. In fact, that's why the websites you linked actually reminds people that not every disabled person requires a mobility device. The problem with this is that people do tend to be judgmental idiots a whole lot despite all of us probably being exposed to that caution of "don't judge a book by its cover".

chelsdh
reply to post by Jennyfrenzy

 

So sorry you went though this. My husband has advised that I get one, I would certainly qualify, but I know that since I don't "look the part" I would be subject to that kind of crap. Honestly, there are only a few days here and there that I would really need it.

Thanks for sharing, sometimes we forget these things and need to be reminded.

lol, you sound like me. I was advised by my doctors that I both qualified and should obtain a disabled parking placard myself about 18 years ago. The primary issue is that I have a bastardized form of RA combined with slippery joints (like I said, I'm freaking defective inside. I blame aliens, lol--joke btw). That means I dislocate joints very, very easily and especially the hips and especially during flares. Most days, I can walk across a room without anything slipping out but kick off that arthritis in just the right spot and its dislocation time. I actually declined the placard as well. Part of it was pride but the other part was wanting to avoid confrontation where I'd have to defend myself against ignorance whenever I pulled into a parking spot. I just couldn't do it.