To your own conscience: revealing ritual to your spouse

Serious question to all who belong to a fraternal order or to any order that swears or promotes secrecy of their ritual or modes of recognition - do you reveal or discuss anything with your spouse? I won't say "partner" or "significant other" because those titles hold no legal or professed bearing (another topic for another thread so please stay on topic if you will, please).

My husband has been a freemason for a very long time. He joined the Lodge when he was 21. He joined several appendant bodies including Scottish and York Rites and was in the Shriners very briefly. He was KCCH in SR for a number of years and was elected to 33rd degree several years ago. He's been a part of a fairly large number of other societies (some well known and others incredibly obscure, but none that should violate the profane/clandestine rules or regulations). With literally each and every ritual he has gone through he has explained to me in great detail what happened. He's shown me each grip, pass, sign and duegard. We've practiced his single letter keys, obligations and any rituals he's had to learn together as a team.

I asked him why he shares with me and doesn't consider it a violation of his obligations. His answer has always been the same - our vows as husband and wife (legally and before God) both outweigh and supersede any oath or obligation he could otherwise take so much that it nullifies any binding characteristic when the two of us are alone.

I told him I would post this here and he's fine with it. He won't participate because he "hates ATS with a white hot intensity that defies description," as he puts it. I, on the other hand, find great amusement here and thought I'd post this. I thought about posting it to RATS because I know it will likely be controversial, but I figured it would get seen by more masons here as well as simply being the appropriate forum overall.

The rituals are all particularly beautiful and moving (with the exception of the Shriner stuff; just silly). The SR 33rd descriptions brought me to tears (still does). We've even enjoyed some RP sexplay involving bits of ritual. Very powerful things, rituals.

I know some of you won't reveal here, even anonymously whether you've talked openly with your wife about lodge details or rituals, but I'd still love to hear thoughts in general on the topic - from actual freemasons. And I'm prepared for the negative comments as well about how my husband is unworthy as a mason because he's violated his obligation by revealing everything to me. That's a perfectly fine stance or approach for any of you to take; it won't affect me though and I'll likely not reply.

I'd like to also state that I love the masculine aspect of lodge and ritual and I get it as much as a female can actually get it. Women do NOT belong in Lodge or in fraternal societies other than OES affiliation. Clandestine lodges that admit both sexes are entirely missing the crucial point of the obelisk, the Sun and the too-numerous-to-list-here allusions to masculinity in lodge. Men have just as much place as OB/GYN patients as women have place in lodge. Sorry for deviating from my topic a bit.

EDIT: please note that he has not discussed ritual or lodge details with another living soul besides myself.

Sharing it with ones spouse is not such a big deal, considering that most rituals can be found on the Internet. Especially for those who have to memorize all their rituals and need their spouse for rehearsals.

The texts themselves aren't the secrets, at least not anymore. The "secrets" if you will is how they are interpreted. They are allegories which can be interpreted in different ways. So just reading the text out of context and without experiencing the ritual and numerous other masonic experiences, will not reveal all that much.

Skyfloating
Sharing it with ones spouse is not such a big deal, considering that most rituals can be found on the Internet. Especially for those who have to memorize all their rituals and need their spouse for rehearsals.

The texts themselves aren't the secrets, at least not anymore. The "secrets" if you will is how they are interpreted. They are allegories which can be interpreted in different ways. So just reading the text out of context and without experiencing the ritual and numerous other masonic experiences, will not reveal all that much.

edit on 2014 by Skyfloating because: (no reason given)

I understand this sentiment fully (re: secrets being the experience, the interpretation, etc). And yes, the first three degrees and all modes of recognition are easily found online, but a great number of rituals and experiences are not (33rd degree being the most obvious).

Thanks for your input, SF. I always appreciate what you have to say.

reply to post by RadarOReilly


He sounds like he is a good guy to share everything with you-He probably thinks if he doesn't tell you what hes doing you will worry.
But why does he hate ATS so much,if you don't mind me asking?
Did he have a bad experience here or something?
Sorry for the questions.

Silcone Synapse
reply to post by RadarOReilly

 

He sounds like he is a good guy to share everything with you-He probably thinks if he doesn't tell you what hes doing you will worry.
But why does he hate ATS so much,if you don't mind me asking?
Did he have a bad experience here or something?
Sorry for the questions.

I wouldn't worry if he didn't tell me; I trust him fully and utterly. We have an interesting marriage, but one that's built on complete honesty and trust. I do like that's he's talked to me about the rituals and I fully admit to feeling completely stoked about knowing some of the rituals that aren't public knowledge. ;-)

I'll pass on talking about why he dislikes it here as any mention of the reason would lead to my instant banning on ATS. Nuff said.

reply to post by RadarOReilly


Don't keep secrets between you, trust is built that way.

Very powerful things, rituals.

So are traditions. They set aside our reason and individuality. Now we are a part of the club, now we belong to the collective.

Clubs, fraternities, orders and secret societies. They are how differences arise between people and nations, how arguments, fights and eventually every single war on this planet has begun. State secrets, family secrets, dirty little secrets…

Look at the result of all that today.

intrptr
reply to post by RadarOReilly

 

Don't keep secrets between you, trust is built that way.

Very powerful things, rituals.

So are traditions. They set aside our reason and individuality. Now we are a part of the club, now we belong to the collective.

Clubs, fraternities, orders and secret societies. They are how differences arise between people and nations, how arguments, fights and eventually every single war on this planet has begun. State secrets, family secrets, dirty little secrets…

Look at the result of all that today.

Differences and secrets aren't bad; it's what's in the hearts of men that can be bad. Now, back on topic.

RadarOReilly
tare easily found online, but a great number of rituals and experiences are not (33rd degree being the most obvious).

You think so?

Silcone Synapse

But why does he hate ATS so much...

Threads on Freemasonry alone contain mostly falsehood. So a Freemason who drops by here can't help but shake his head, because these are usually truth-seeking and truth-loving people. Such an avalanche of falsehood is taken to heart. I at one time couldnt bear to log-on here. So I had to re-frame it as "entertainment" rather than "information", and now its a lot of fun.

intrptr


Clubs, fraternities, orders and secret societies. They are how differences arise between people and nations, how arguments, fights and eventually every single war on this planet has begun. State secrets, family secrets, dirty little secrets…

The original purpose of secrets was to shield against tyranny. Back in the dark ages, when secret societies and orders such as the Knights Templar arose, if you had any view even slightly different than the Inquisition, you'd get killed. So secrets were a matter of sheer survival. More recently we had people such as Hitler and Stalin who demanded "total transparency" and vowed to eradicate all secrets. Why? So that they could control everything.

In countries and places that are not under dictatorship, such societies and mystery schools have no secrets. But if the political climate ones again changes and things get dark, you`ll be happy to have secret societies to preserve freedom of speech and mutual tolerance.

RadarOReilly

Differences and secrets aren't bad; it's what's in the hearts of men that can be bad. Now, back on topic.

Very nicely put. A very masonic attitude too.

I have been married 22 years, a Mason for 21. My wife and I used to clean the lodge and when she would ask about random things I answered honestly. I did not go so far as to share the “each grip, pass, sign and duegard”. She joined the OES and a few months after my 3rd degree then went inactive and never returned, at the time she was in her early 20s and the rest of the active membership were 50+. She pretty much has the idea of all that goes on.
Thinking over all the garbage that has been thrown around about the Masonic fraternity…If it was something she felt I needed to answer…I would.

For an entertaining ritual involving your lovers, might I suggest...

Tequila and ??

a pair of lace up boots

Archie comic books

soft restraints

5 pounds of tofu [large curd style]

various plastic containers

and a signed Andy Warhol silkscreen print.

the adult nature of the ritual should encourage improvisation and experimentation.
Secret societies are welcome to participate but as always please leave the firearms at home!!

If anyone needs a custom ritual as an offering or supplication event we promise no animals will be harmed, it will be completely original and designed with the customer in mind.

olaru12
For an entertaining ritual involving your lovers, might I suggest...

Tequila and ??

a pair of lace up boots

Archie comic books

soft restraints

5 pounds of tofu [large curd style]

various plastic containers

and a signed Andy Warhol silkscreen print.

the adult nature of the ritual should encourage improvisation and experimentation.
Secret societies are welcome to participate but as always please leave the firearms at home!!

edit on 29-3-2014 by olaru12 because: (no reason given)

Archie comics. And this because Veronica's dad was named Hiram Lodge. ;-)

reply to post by RadarOReilly


You are in the relationship for the long haul. Your husband trusts you. Since our lessons are based on trust, I think there is no harm in you knowing what he knows as long as you understand the reason for the secrecy. (an I know you do having spoken to you before)

Ans as we all know, a good masons wife will help scrape the blood from beneath her husbands fingernails, and never ask why.

RadarOReilly
I know some of you won't reveal here, even anonymously whether you've talked openly with your wife about lodge details or rituals, but I'd still love to hear thoughts in general on the topic - from actual freemasons.

To be perfectly honest my wife could not care about the ritual.

Being that I am a Past Master and a part of Grand Lodge I get to see quite a bit of ritual performed. I usually tell her about funny mispronunciations that I hear either during practice or in Lodge. Some of my favorites:

Instead of Callimachus (the Greek scholar) someone said Calimarius, like the fried seafood.

For the Fellowcraft prayer where the Lord speaks to Amos about the plumb line the Brother pronounced his name as 'Ah-moose'.

And the all time best, for the Past Word of Fellowcraft the Brother said 'Syphilis' instead of the actual word.

AugustusMasonicus


And the all time best, for the Past Word of Fellowcraft the Brother said 'Syphilis' instead of the actual word.

He was obviously from a neighboring tribe and the distinction cost them their lives.

reply to post by RadarOReilly

Differences and secrets aren't bad; it's what's in the hearts of men that can be bad. Now, back on topic.

Off topic you insult every man on the planet then say, back to topic?

Good one.