In Marriage do you have a Right to Sex?

reply to post by QuantumDeath


That would be an interesting pickup line - "excuse me, miss, but would you like to marry me and devote your life to celibacy with me?"

Nope.

Not seeing it work out very well.

You can get that by joining a monastery.

========================================

"Maintenance"?

I can just hear THAT conversation at the bar: "I gotta go Klem. I gotta turn in early, got a big day full of chores tomorrow. I have to get up, feed the cows, feed the chickens, carry some water, have sex with my wife, and fix the tractor. Whew! That's gonna be a lot of work for one day!"

mblahnikluver
reply to post by ArtemisE

 

Sex isn't a right! It's a privilege.

You don't need sex for survival. The only "survival" aspect of sex is reproduction. To carry on your name or genes or however you want to look at it.

Rights are only for survival?

You don't need the freedom of speech for survival.

You don't need freedom of the press for survival.

You don't need freedom from unreasonable search and seizure for survival.

Etc, on down the list (except the Second Amendment - that one could be argued to be a requisite for survival in some circumstances).

Nope, I'm not seeing rights as being survival oriented. They are more quality of life oriented.

Plenty of psych studies show sex to generally be a requisite for good mental health. That's what my wife says. I do know that it improves prostate health in males. I'm thinking THAT might have an impact on survival...

reply to post by nenothtu


There is value in celibacy, for those so inclined to find such value. To a person who has immersed themselves in a meditative lifestyle, in particular.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


A very Lonely frustrating value! :p

reply to post by OpinionatedB


Yes birth control..
You mean those nice pills and other medical avenues that the right has been trying so hard to place roadblocks in front of women to prevent them from having?
I am sure we've all heard it:

If SHE didn't want a child she shouldn't have had the sex!!!

I think this thread gives a pretty clear image of just where that is gonna lead to!!!
Doesn't it??

reply to post by dawnstar


1) this thread is not about birth control or party lines or affiliations.

2) I had my tubes tied... If for any reason you are very much done having children this is a very real and very effective means of birth control. You don't have to worry about taking medicine or its side effects, you don't have to worry about cost.. its an all around good thing.. but you have to be sure you are not wanting more children which, it sounds like you are.

As one woman to another, I did think that was well worth mentioning.

As for where you think this thread is going... that's up to you.

reply to post by OpinionatedB

Actually I don't have to worry about it anymore. I am just an old crone!
It wasn't where I thought the thread was going it was where I thought the right's idea of "don't want kids don't have sex" is going if they ever got their way!
Straight towards divorce court!!

reply to post by dawnstar


I think something is wrong with your reading comprehension. You mentioned wanting to stop having sex because you didn't want more children and I mentioned birth control being an option to your idea of no more sex, and now this is somehow some political crap on how republicans don't want you to use birth control. Which is insane. Republicans use birth control everyday.

So I will leave you to it. Have a nice day..

ETA

I suppose it could be argued that abstention is birth control and that since you have decided somehow that republicans are suggesting not abstaining then they are against your version of birth control.

If you want, have at it, but don't expect many husbands to be celibate with you.

Just saying.

dawnstar
reply to post by OpinionatedB

 

Yes birth control..
You mean those nice pills and other medical avenues that the right has been trying so hard to place roadblocks in front of women to prevent them from having?
I am sure we've all heard it:

If SHE didn't want a child she shouldn't have had the sex!!!

I think this thread gives a pretty clear image of just where that is gonna lead to!!!
Doesn't it??

As an inveterate "right-winger", I can state unequivocally that abstention is my LEAST favorite form of birth control. It makes me grouchy, crotchety, and generally out of sorts. In short, it pushes me even FURTHER to the right.

SO - feminists, women's libbers, and all the like, unless you want to create a legion of those dangerous right wingers, give it up, and give them something better to do!

bigfatfurrytexan
reply to post by nenothtu

 

There is value in celibacy, for those so inclined to find such value. To a person who has immersed themselves in a meditative lifestyle, in particular.

I have no doubt that some find value in it, but I can't, with a clear conscience, recommend it as a pickup line or a marriage proposal... it just doesn't appear, on the surface, to be a "sure sale".

Having been married way too many times myself, I seriously can't think of a reason to subject one's self to that yoke without at least a hint of something that I couldn't get by just going to the local herd gathering spot. That would be something other than simple companionship. I can get friends without marrying them, and I don't have to exclude myself to just one friend...

I do believe your reading comprehension is off a tad bit.
I don't believe I ever expressed any of my wants in any of my posts.

Feel free to point to one where I did!

Umm..
a tubal..
wonder how much one of those cost now days for a person with no insurance or with insurance anyways. wonder if medicaid pays for them now? They didn't when I was bearing children wouldn't have qualified even if they did.
And we sure the heck didn't have the money for it!

But well I have bookmarked this thread for those "If she doesn't want to have kids she shouldn't have the sex" kinds of people and left yous with what I consider is some good advice if you would open your eyes.
First of which would be don't be surprised if your spouse becomes disinterested in your sexual advances after bringing a few children in the world and finding that you aren't interested in equally sharing the responsibility of them!

reply to post by dawnstar


My wife had a tubal after her second child (our first together).

The debauchery that has followed....i agree that less kids makes for a happier marriage. At least in our case.

I'm never getting married again. Twice was enough to teach me the lesson.

Every woman I am 'with' wants to get all serious right away. Hell, the last one proposed and bought me a freaking diamond ring.

I currently rank them above cats.
Just above.

reply to post by butcherguy

that's funny I rank my cat above me..
Much more intelligent than any human I've ever known! She has risen from a poor little virtually blind kitten to the princess of the home with just a few purs and meows..of course a rubs across the face has helped also! She's fed kept safe and can play with any mice that she might find around the home. Can sleep till noon if she wants and is free to do basically whatever she wants!
I'd be tempted to say that I want to be the cat in my next life but I am afraid that us humans will have this world so screwed up I'd be hiding from the starving humans who want to eat me!

reply to post by dawnstar

I am afraid that us humans will have this world so screwed up I'd be hiding from the starving humans who want to eat me!

I'm with you on this one.

Much more intelligent than any human I've ever known!

I can't agree with this one though!

reply to post by dawnstar


That's funny, after your rants you're way too into your cat..... That's like the most steriotypical thing I've ever heard!

reply to post by ArtemisE

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


I had no choice but to have a tubal... My dream had been to have 5 kids... but I agree its kind of nice to have a smaller family, you get to spoil just a little more...

... and yourself too!


As a beside:

Nationwide, the cost of a tubal ligation is anywhere from $1,500 to $6,000. Birth control, when my daughter was on it a couple years ago, was 28 dollars a month. If a persons tubal costs them $2,500, that is the equivalent of 7-1/2 years of birth control. if it costs $5,000 that is the equivalent of 15 years of birth control at the current cost... not factoring in what it will go up over that period of time.

It's cheapest right after birth because your already there with the doctors and in the hospital, so it doesn't cost much extra. It's a one time fee... I had my tubes tied when I was 22, and at 45 I am still reaping the benefits of what cost me $600 dollars back then.. that's two years of birth control pills at their current cost.

also... vasectomies are cheaper.

reply to post by OpinionatedB


My wife is 4'11" tall. I am 6'2" tall. My father weighed 11lbs at birth, his brother weighed 14lbs at birth.

We knew she would have to have c-section. There was no way. He was born just shy of 10lbs, and it was miserable for her in the last month or so. She just was not big enough to carry him comfortably.

When she had her c-section, they went ahead and did the tubal. The doctor didn't charge for it, since she was already open for the c-section.

Matter of fact we got a $240 refund from the hospital due to overpayment by the insurance company.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


I'm tall, but my daughter was a tiny little thing and both of her baby's were bigger, between one was over 8 lbs and one over 9... they BOTH got stuck..

horrid... I do thank God I didn't have that problem as both of my children were smaller.

But yeah... I feel for her definitely. It's cool you guys didn't get charged, that was totally great of the doctor... I did, but I had the money so I wasn't much worried about it.