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In Marriage do you have a Right to Sex?

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posted on Mar, 29 2014 @ 09:50 PM
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reply to post by Pimpintology
 


In marriage you have a right to nothing. If you're lucky you'll get a tax break but you get screwed in other areas. Without marriage you still have a right to nothing and you get benefits in some areas. It doesn't matter anymore. Marriage does not matter. I don't care what anyone believes. Marriage has not been protected. So anyone or anything can get married. Its all out drama getting out of marriage or possibly being in one. There is absolutely positively never ever a reason to ever get married.

I totally, completely (and entirely) agree with everything you put into your reply.

Except ... your reasoning falls short in my case. Now what?

edit on 2932014 by Snarl because: Page change. Had to quote to maintain continuity.




posted on Mar, 29 2014 @ 10:42 PM
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You have a right to ask.
The other has the right to say no.



posted on Mar, 30 2014 @ 07:17 AM
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ArtemisE

Here's the premise,

In marriage or a full blown monogamous relationship, do you have the right to sex?

I'm not saying do you have the right to beat or rape your spouse. I'm saying do you have the right to expect sex and terminate the relationship if the other person just isn't willing.


I would argue that yes you do. I think sex in a long term relationship is assumed. So the " burden of proof" would be on the with holder to say up front if they thought they might want to stop having sex. They would be the one in breach of contract.


Where in a marriage contract does it state anything about the right to sex on demand for either partner?

Also, you didn't mention whether or not sexual therapy was sought first. If is was and your partner did not agree to sexual therapy, then I would take that as the desire is gone, the love is gone, and the sexual component of the marriage is over. Your move.



posted on Mar, 30 2014 @ 07:30 AM
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You don't have a right to sex,
but you do have a right to divorce due to no sex.



posted on Mar, 30 2014 @ 01:52 PM
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dawnstar
reply to post by OpinionatedB
 


it's more than a spiritual bond


This is what one gets for not actually reading a post before responding. I said "chemical bond" NOT spiritual. Lets examine the chemical bond now since I brought it up and you appear to be clueless.

Oxytocin floods your body when you have an orgasm among other things. Men and women produce this during sex, the release of oxytocin does many things, a couple main points it's causal to is:

1.) promotes attachment

2.) solidifies relationships

3.) a cocktail of brain chemicals that includes oxytocin is released in men during ejaculation. These chemicals can intensify bonding between sexual partners

4.) triggers protective instincts

5.) fosters generosity

www.livescience.com...

Therefore, all these things slowly dissipate when sex stops.. without sex for long periods of time, a man will slowly stop having all those feelings of protectiveness and of attachment to his wife. Without this chemical no man would care for keeping a woman around at all... short of perhaps not minding a housekeeper around.


but well
I kind of think that it was those two factors that I mentioned that drove the evolution of marriage
after all there are still many men that will are happy playing the field aren't there
what was the motivation that drove men to settle for just one women? could it be that they didn't want other's playing the field with her? and well doesn't that protect his rights to paternity? as long as men respected the sacredness of marriage (which at the beginning didn't prevent the man having concubines or other wifes) they could be reasonably assured that their sons and daughters were theirs!


A man has no certain knowledge of whether or not the offspring that his wife bore were his other than her word - all marriage does is to provide a LEGAL and social parentage of the children... not anything else. Rings don't plug no holes, as the saying goes... much proof of this in history too.

What separates us sexually from being animals, is oxytocin. That is what makes us have all these very human feelings about our mates... That is what drove men to settle for just one woman.

The "sacredness" of marriage, is an entirely different topic. The bonds are wholly chemical, and caused by hormones and chemicals, and without sex, we wouldn't have these bonds.
edit on 30-3-2014 by OpinionatedB because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 31 2014 @ 12:44 AM
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Sex comes with the territory. If my wife turned frigid, i sure wouldn't be able to continue, without some decent reason (health, etc). But it is my duty to be understanding of her right to say "No" and feel secure in her person (i would never violate that which I am willing to die defending, ya know?). It is also my duty (and in my best interest) to keep her happiness in mind in that regard, and to actually try to make it a mutually beneficial encounter.



posted on Mar, 31 2014 @ 05:54 AM
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reply to post by OpinionatedB
 

if one grows old enough the body starts to wear out
if what you say is true their commitment would also wear out
and I've seen enough older couples in their 80's and 90's to be pretty sure that it does not



posted on Mar, 31 2014 @ 05:23 PM
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reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan
 


The mutually beneficent is key to a happy marriage, and to her keeping a good supply of oxytocin in her system as well as the man. This mutual thing (verses great for only 1) most men are not too keen on and it is exceedingly important for a healthy relationship.

It takes time sometimes, and a bit of trial and error and a definite learning process... but it's worth it in the end, for more than just 1.



posted on Mar, 31 2014 @ 05:26 PM
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reply to post by dawnstar
 


After 60 years of a healthy marriage when both parties loose sexual interest / desire the marriage continues because 1.) neither has any more sexual drive and 2.) because they have a history of a long relationship and sexual relations with one another throughout that 60 years.

You cannot expect the same reaction from healthy normal adults with healthy normal drives than you can expect from the elderly. BIG difference.

And, shockingly enough... there are some people who do have sex well into their 80's... they just do the deed much less frequently than younger people.
edit on 31-3-2014 by OpinionatedB because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 31 2014 @ 05:48 PM
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reply to post by OpinionatedB
 


While this is not the place for any level of descriptive, after 20 years my wife and I are as close as I can imagine two people being. And while that closeness has grown, so has the splendor of every other part of our relationship. Insanely so.

We were discusing oxytocin this morning, while watching The Walking Dead.



posted on Apr, 5 2014 @ 01:43 AM
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Here in France there is some sort of law which enables people to have a divorce and gain some sort of compensation for their spouses failure to fulfill their obligations in terms of sex. I don't know much about it, and had heard mainly about women bringing charges against their husbands for this.

I don't know why there would be more women complaining than men- perhaps men just go out and get it elsewhere on the sly if they aren't getting it at home?

I don't really like any ways that the society can get into the private relationships between people, unless were talking about actual abuse... I guess the use of sex as a manipulative weapon is an issue to consider though.



posted on Apr, 5 2014 @ 08:19 PM
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reply to post by ArtemisE
 


Just my opinion. I believe married people have a right to negotiate for their needs.

hint: The negotiation process itself can be fun.

That is all.



posted on Apr, 6 2014 @ 07:09 AM
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reply to post by OpinionatedB
 


You can expect the same reaction from someone who hasn't any children and wants one than you can from someone who already has more than she wanted and has learned that the man she is with really isn't willing to go the extra mile for the family he is helping to create either!

can you???



posted on Apr, 6 2014 @ 08:50 AM
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dawnstar
reply to post by OpinionatedB
 


You can expect the same reaction from someone who hasn't any children and wants one than you can from someone who already has more than she wanted and has learned that the man she is with really isn't willing to go the extra mile for the family he is helping to create either!

can you???



The woman who doesn't want any more children uses birth control. After the birth of my daughter the doctor said that another child would probably kill me - quite literally, so I got my tubes tied. No more worrying, by then I had my son and my daughter and was happy enough - even though my dream had been to have 5 children.

This did not stop me from desiring sex. I still had sex and still wanted it.

My ex husband was abusive, emotionally and physically yet even that did little to diminish my sex drive. When I had had enough of that I picked up and left WITH my children.

I still desired sex though...

I am remarried now, 45 years old, disabled, a grandmother, yet I STILL have a healthy sex drive; a bit less than when I was young for sure, but still quite healthy. I have sex anywhere from once a day to once every other day on an average - not because anyone makes me either but because I desire it, very much so.

There are times that drive diminishes, I went through the death of my daughter and my head wasn't into sex for a while, life sometimes makes it this way but time heals and you end up regaining the drive that for a time wasn't much there.

If your marriage is to the point you don't want to have marital relations then something in your marriage is in serious trouble and it needs fixed! That was actually the biggest clue that I needed to leave my ex by the way - when I started feeling sick every time he touched me. Knowing my normal self I knew then that it things were so seriously wrong they were past the point of no return.

edit on 6-4-2014 by OpinionatedB because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 6 2014 @ 09:18 AM
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reply to post by ArtemisE
 


Breach of contract?

lol hmm well considering the way things used to be.. the woman was supposed to be a virgin and the husband was the first and only... what if he is a total dud? What if he is an absolute bastard that the wife has to sleep with every night and chew her arm off every morning?

Breach of contract does not mention being sexually fulfilled so there is no breach of contract.

OMFG! Do people really think about this ? This reminds me of the old days when in the UK women were told to lay back and think of the Queen when the Husband wanted to have sex.

ew...



posted on Apr, 6 2014 @ 09:30 AM
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reply to post by Thurisaz
 


Like none of you read the OP. So your saying if your partner no longer is attracted to you or has self esteem issues and no longer wants to have sex with you. Who has the moral high ground in a divorce. The person who leaves or the person who was left.

There was no force your partner on the table.



posted on Apr, 6 2014 @ 09:31 AM
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reply to post by Thurisaz
 


sex really is the difference between having a marriage or a fishing buddy...



posted on Apr, 6 2014 @ 12:11 PM
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reply to post by OpinionatedB
 


As people grow older, they often have one who abstains while the other is not as happy about it, as in my grandparents situation, but the friendship and love is still there.

I understand your post, and its true also for me as I grew older and disabled, however, now very happy to be single, for that finally was taken way, with prayer and seeking. Mine was a ufology related test, a sighting of a light ship, and the physical was gone. I understood that instead of thinking of self and your own yearnings, we are here to think of others. That in a sense the sexuality of this planet is very low frequency and primitive. Much better versions of intimacy and love exist on higher levels.

So my advice really for married couples or those who still wish to have a physical connection, because its meant (after the children have either come or a decision to not have them occurs) to establish ongoing intimacy and vulnerability between lovers. Its meant to be Love, a physical expression of it. Its not about marriage, religions, all of that, but about Love and giving. Not being selfish. In this case, however, its very primitive and for couples who meditate together, and perhaps bring some higher mind practices in, they might find their whole physical behaviors changing.

I'm very happy to have any yearning for primitive stuff to be over, that was a gift, as if prayers were answered. First a test, and passing, and then healing.
edit on 6-4-2014 by Unity_99 because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 6 2014 @ 12:21 PM
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dawnstar
reply to post by OpinionatedB
 


You can expect the same reaction from someone who hasn't any children and wants one than you can from someone who already has more than she wanted and has learned that the man she is with really isn't willing to go the extra mile for the family he is helping to create either!

can you???



If a spouse is failing to live up to their commitments in other, non-sexual ways....why would you even be bringing up the sexual aspects of marriage? It is a broken marriage. You owe nothing to a spouse who feels they owe you nothing. You only owe it to yourself to get out and find a better relationship.



posted on Apr, 7 2014 @ 06:01 AM
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reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan
 


Most women who stay in bad marriages stay because they are afraid they cannot make it with their children on their own.

It's a matter of realizing that happiness for yourself and your children is worth it, and realizing you do have what it takes to make it in this world.



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