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In Marriage do you have a Right to Sex?

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posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 12:09 PM
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reply to post by benrl
 


Because I make enough- usually- to support one household. I don't make enough to support two. And I don't agree that children are better off with split parents. I have seen many many families with multiple households. While everyone likes to say they are better off I have to say I don't agree. The repercussions are sometimes long in coming, but they are there. Unless there is actual abuse involved, the children are better off if the parents pull up their big boy pants and keep it together.
edit on 3/28/2014 by Montana because: (no reason given)




posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 12:16 PM
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reply to post by ArtemisE
 


If the issue of ending the relationship over not getting sexually satisfied is even in play, you (meaning whoever) have WAY bigger problems than no sex in your marriage... and the odds are near 100% that they started long before the sex stopped.



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 12:21 PM
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Montana
reply to post by benrl
 


Because I make enough- usually- to support one household. I don't make enough to support two. And I don't agree that children are better off with split parents. I have seen many many families with multiple households. While everyone likes to say they are better off I have to say I don't agree. The repercussions are sometimes long in coming, but they are there. Unless there is actual abuse involved, the children are better off if the parents pull up their big boy pants and keep it together.
edit on 3/28/2014 by Montana because: (no reason given)


So if they can pull up their big boy pants and keep it together,

Why Can't they pull up their being humble pants seek counseling and reconcile their relationship to a healthy point?

You can't forsee a situation where people in that type of relationship get bitter? When say a teenager is being an Ass, and a spouse that doesn't return affection?

And in their darkest moments going "This is why I stayed here?"

We are all human, we all make mistakes, you don't think that would than relate to how you express your relationships to otheres?

Honestly, it blows my mind that people could be forced to stay in a relationship because of kids (how unselfish of you) But than wont do everything in their power to make that relationship a loving marriage, not for the kids sake, but for everyone involved.



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 12:22 PM
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reply to post by Montana
 

Ask yourself why did you get married? I say this since my husband had only married his first wife due to the pregnancy factor. He stayed with her because of his daughter. It was a completely loveless marriage. Her own family told me that they never touched or held hands in public. He was waiting for his lil girl to grow up too, then...surprise! His wife went out and had the affair. She did not love him. He admits that he did have good sex in the beginning but with time, resented her coldness towards him. In reality, they played off of each other's vibes and grew distant sexually and emotionally. They both were at fault. Neither felt loved.

What makes you feel loved by your wife? What makes her feel she is loved? Do you know?



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 12:24 PM
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InTheLight

ArtemisE
reply to post by InTheLight
 


I disagree. I think being sexually active would do more for her self esteem. Also that's completely ignoring the effect that would have on your partners self esteem.


Most women don't respond well to 'spread em' requests.


it is sad that you had to explain this....are we in the 21st century, or reliving the 12th?



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 12:24 PM
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reply to post by dasman888
 


For the majority of people out there, maybe. But there ARE many people who are born with a very low or even non-existent sex drive. For these people it can take an effort and a lot of caring to maintain a healthy sex life for their partner even when everything else is okay. People with different sex drives in a relationship happens fairly frequently, and it really is work on both partner's part to keep things going. Saying "there must be other problems" is sometimes a cop-out.
edit on 3/28/2014 by Montana because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 12:26 PM
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reply to post by dasman888
 


Fair enough! So if your partner won't sleep with you anymore and your not ready to stop having sex you should leave him/her.


Of course it's not all about sex. But that is about the only thing you only share with your spouse.



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 12:28 PM
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reply to post by jimmyx
 


You don't see the flip side to that statement? If so I guess I'm not sure which century you are living in?



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 12:30 PM
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ArtemisE

In marriage or a full blown monogamous relationship, do you have the right to sex?


The following is my opinion as a member participating in this discussion.


No


As an ATS Staff Member, I will not moderate in threads such as this where I have participated as a member.




I'm saying do you have the right to expect sex and terminate the relationship if the other person just isn't willing.


The following is my opinion as a member participating in this discussion.


Yes.

I hope you can see how those are two entirely different things.

Technically, I think everyone has the 'right' to sex. Especially if your spouse doesn't find out.


As an ATS Staff Member, I will not moderate in threads such as this where I have participated as a member.



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 12:31 PM
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reply to post by CynConcepts
 


Pretty sure ATS isn't interested in reading about more than 20 years of love, hurt, discussion, counseling, and everything else. What it boils down to is someone is using sex as a weapon. That is never the definition of a good relationship.



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 12:33 PM
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There is far too much emphasis placed on sex. Sex SHOULD come from an intimate relationship, not the other way around. Thus the physical act itself has little meaning compared to the bond of the individuals.



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 12:38 PM
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I guess you can handle it in a good manner.

Spouse does not want sex today. Okay, few days, okay, a week, okay... a month.. hmmm.
discuss the reason, "just not interested"?.. does the other partner have an option to seek pleasure outside? computer? another person?
If all fails... probably not a good relationship anyway... get a Divorce.


Sex is not a right but its expected... just like sharing your income, and living in the same house.



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 12:41 PM
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reply to post by benrl
 


See, and there is where you are wrong. Who said we didn't go to counseling? Who said we haven't jumped through all the hoops and had the talks? You assume that all problems can be solved if people just "talk" to each other. Makes for good TV, but it sometimes doesn't work that way in real life. Counseling only works if there is an honest effort on both parts to make changes in behavior. Without that effort, it doesn't get better.

Bottom line, I looked at the situation, evaluated the results of other families and the choices they made, and chose the path I felt was best. We have wonderful well adjusted children that have every chance of a great life. I have nothing to apologize for, and I would do it again.



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 12:42 PM
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I used to think I would answer "no" to this question. Recently, however, a friend of mine told me that her husband just does not want sex with her, and he barely touches her. It has played havoc on her self-esteem, making her feel she is unattractive and undesirable. It's one reason she is seeking divorce, and I gotta agree with her.



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 12:45 PM
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reply to post by intrepid
 


This is a very true statement. It SHOULD come from that. What do you do when it doesn't?



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 01:10 PM
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reply to post by InvisibleOwl
 


Wouldn't the same hold true for a husband?



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 01:24 PM
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reply to post by ArtemisE
 


Absolutely. My mind has changed completely on this



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 01:29 PM
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Montana
reply to post by CynConcepts
 


Pretty sure ATS isn't interested in reading about more than 20 years of love, hurt, discussion, counseling, and everything else. What it boils down to is someone is using sex as a weapon. That is never the definition of a good relationship.


After 20 years, why would you keep supplying her with ammo for a weapon? If a weapon is no longer useful it won't be used. I guess what I am saying is you obviously allowed her to use it to good effect, otherwise she would not continue to use it against you.



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 01:30 PM
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intrepid
There is far too much emphasis placed on sex. Sex SHOULD come from an intimate relationship, not the other way around. Thus the physical act itself has little meaning compared to the bond of the individuals.


Actually, that's where love making and soul bonding SHOULD come from.



posted on Mar, 28 2014 @ 01:48 PM
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reply to post by CynConcepts
 


Ah, so we finally get around to it!!

It's not the woman's fault it's mine!

Silly me...

Notice I never told anyone I was forced to stay. Notice I never said I needed rescuing. Someone asked if it was ok to deny a partner sex in a relationship and I said probably not, get out if you can because it doesn't get better. Here's my example.

Your response? Well you must like it then! Wow, how introspective of you.

Feel free to go save someone else.



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