reply to post by LUXUS
In high school i was an all state offensive lineman. A real blue chipper. Had I been the man I am today at that time, I likely would have ended up
playing some level of professional football. I was a shadow of a man at the time. My "intellect" and my body were strong, my spirit was in
miserable shape. My experience there is what has made me change into a man who will refuse to quit (although I am not dumb enough to beat a dead
horse, and can cut losses if need be).
This is what I want for my son. I realized it when he was about 8 years old. I had raised him well up to that point, but had always wanted him to
play football like I did. He would have been a legend, too, as he is far larger and stronger than I was at his age. He didn't want to play
football, though. It wasn't in his interest. My old high school coach is the atheletic director at this school, and knows my son in the context of
me. So the heat is high to get him to suit up...but he just doesn't want to.
It was when he told me he didn't want to play football...that was when I realized a lot of things. First, i can't live vicariously through him in
that way. More importantly, a desire for vicarious living was not in his best interest. Not at all. I have my fair share of aches/pains earned from
a decade of playing football. Why does he need to have that to live with?
I decided, however, that I DO want to live vicariously through him. I want him to acheive. But, instead of having him achieve what I want....we are
having him achieve what HE wants.
He has the brains for college study, but is more interested in working in trades. So i have arranged for a new machine/fabrication shop that is being
built in town to take him in as an apprentice. He works for me on an "on call" basis, and they will match the hourly rate I pay him when he works
for them, around 20 hours a week (i designed their artwork/logo, business cards, and stationary in exchange). I have been making payments on a
welding set up for him, too. By the time he is 17, he will have enough welding equipment, experience, and contacts to start making his own name. Is
welding/machining my thing? Nope....business is. So my vicarious living is going to be to help him turn his passion into profit.
living vicariously through your kids....it can be a bad thing. Or a good thing. The real question is, whose best interest are you working towards?
Synergy might be a better approach, so that both parties benefit.
At least, that is my 2 cents.