Cats are really dinosaurs

I finally figured out what happened to the dinosaurs that were around just 10000 years ago. I saw a museum in America somewhere depicting people walking around with them and using them as mounts. But I wasn't able to figure out how they died off until now.

I think that Egyptian sorcerers turned the dinosaurs into cats. Dinosaurs look like cats, I think so. And they have a lot in common, too - like they are both predators and have common ancestors.

The sphinx is also really big. This must mean that it was a dinosaur that was turned to stone. I remember a story in the Bible where God turned an entire city to stone so it is possible. God also turned the rest of the dinosaurs into oil. This much is known by science.

Cats also have teeth that look like dinosaur teeth and their breath is hot and smells like fire just like dinosaurs that breathed fire.

I'm glad I figured this out I feel a lot better now.

This does serve to explain my cat's behavior at times... think he was an assholasauras or sphincterotops. Either fits...

reply to post by darkbake


Impeccable logic lad, reminds me of Bill Cosby's "cake for breakfast".

reply to post by darkbake


JUMPIN' JAHOSEPHET!

I think you're on to something DB! it explains so much! Where do I begin! I CAN'T CONTROL THE THE TONE OF MY VOICE!

I sleep with my window open (I live in Florida and AC is expensive) and I woke up this morning to my mum's cat and some other strange cat fighting in my bedroom. So I picked up the strange cat and threw it outside, gently of course. My mum's cat barreled after UT and they brawled for a minute. I was just like, what? Still groggy from sleep. Stupid dinosaur cats and there bloody tomfoolery.

This is the conspiracy of the ages!

darkbake
I finally figured out what happened to the dinosaurs that were around just 10000 years ago. I saw a museum in America somewhere depicting people walking around with them and using them as mounts. But I wasn't able to figure out how they died off until now.

I think that Egyptian sorcerers turned the dinosaurs into cats. Dinosaurs look like cats, I think so. And they have a lot in common, too - like they are both predators and have common ancestors.

The sphinx is also really big. This must mean that it was a dinosaur that was turned to stone. I remember a story in the Bible where God turned an entire city to stone so it is possible. God also turned the rest of the dinosaurs into oil. This much is known by science.

Cats also have teeth that look like dinosaur teeth and their breath is hot and smells like fire just like dinosaurs that breathed fire.

I'm glad I figured this out I feel a lot better now.

edit on 25amTue, 25 Mar 2014 11:09:09 -0500kbamkAmerica/Chicago by darkbake because: (no reason given)

I can't imagine why someone with your kind of ATS stats would post something like this.

This is something I'd assume would come from disinformation agents. Not saying that you are one but this thread scream "I'm trolling"

reply to post by Antipathy17


Dude, maybe you should go have a tall glass of cold homogenized vitamin D milk and contemplate your reply and what forum this thread is posted in. Its jokes, puns and pranks, in case you missed it. I for one thought it was pretty funny.



Kallisti

My cat is no dinosaur. He is a finely tuned, highly specialized killing machine that allows me to live in his space. And I'm happy to do it.

Dinosaurs evolved into birds. t-rex=chickens.

reply to post by Antipathy17


I agree, I did post it right away in the "Jokes and Puns" forum. The story behind it was I was talking to my mom about how some creationists thought that humans lived alongside dinosaurs in recent history - and that got me wondering how the dinosaurs went extinct.

My mom got the idea that the Egyptians turned them into cats to make them more manageable, so I ran with it. See, I happen to think that it is really strange that religious extremists are all of a sudden saying the Earth is only 10,000 years old or so - it isn't true, that much can be said for it.

Although check out the Wikipedia entry on the Creationist Museum in Kentucky - it is praised for its artwork, and I still think it would be fun to visit.

Anyway, this was written as a somewhat satirical piece using about the same amount of logic as Young Earthers.

CagliostroTheGreat
reply to post by darkbake

 

Stupid dinosaur cats and there bloody tomfoolery.

This is the conspiracy of the ages!

LOL!

reply to post by Antipathy17


Part 2



Here is Jesus, visiting the dinosaurs, granting them peace, too.



See? Dinosaurs really did exist alongside humans and even Jesus! Here is a model of one saddled up and ready to go for a hunt. The blanket keeps it warm at night, because it is cold-blooded!

reply to post by darkbake


Part 2



But then at some point the dinosaurs got unruly! Look at all of those teeth! Things were getting out of hand in Ancient Egypt, where they were already fed up with the Jewish shenanigans from all of the plagues. Now they had to deal with their pets and livestock, too.



Yes, it was time for a change.



Although keeping their original personality, the dinosaurs became more manageable due to their cute, accessible size and lack of flesh-ripping talons and rows of teeth.

@Antipathy: I will keep in mind to make sure that I make a note of something when I am joking or not serious, I'm glad you gave me that reminder.

I actually have it in my personality that I don't like being misleading or dishonest. I might do some more satirical pieces, but I'll make sure to note if I am joking.

reply to post by darkbake


Kitty certainly hes got all his ducks in a row. heheheh

A acceptably insane theory

reply to post by Biigs


I just read that inscription, I can't believe the cat was herding geese, that is ridiculous - I don't even know what to think about that.

Dinosaur = fancy name for animal

CagliostroTheGreat
reply to post by Antipathy17

 

Dude, maybe you should go have a tall glass of cold homogenized vitamin D milk and contemplate your reply and what forum this thread is posted in. Its jokes, puns and pranks, in case you missed it. I for one thought it was pretty funny.

Kallisti

In case I missed it. Which I did. Appreciate the insult along the way for a simple mistake though.

reply to post by Antipathy17


Insult?

Was it?

I humbly apologize.

Kallisti

reply to post by darkbake


Dude, that Jesus painting is beyond hilarious! This completely changes everything!

reply to post by CagliostroTheGreat


I know, right? That's proof right there. Look at that cute T-Rex, he's a good T-Rex, yes he is...

reply to post by darkbake


Hims so cute! I bet hims hungry. Here wittle one I has red meat for... OH GOD MY HAND! I... I... I'M BLEEDING WHERE'S MY HAND! OH GOD! I CAN'T CONTROL THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE AGAIN!

*runs off holding a bleeding stump of an arm*