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After a search turned up nothing, he asked my wife if she had seen the drugs. She said she knew nothing about them.
But still.... shame on you for searching the sofa.
He's embarrassed enough already.
By consistently searching you will end up making him go insane.
It is one thing to call a bluff. It is another to take away his cards.
Shame on him? Seriously? It's HIS HOUSE. EVERYTHING in HIS house is HIS. If the son wants privacy... he's 20... he can move out, get his own house and stash anything he wants wherever he wants.
I couldn't agree more. My kid has the privacy I've chosen to grant him and not an inch beyond it. That is subject to change without notice based on my decisions by whatever criteria I choose. As they say, rank hath it's privileges and no one outranks Daddy in the house here.
If he doesn't like it, he can file for emancipation at 16 or move out at 18. I'll even help him by 20, if leaving the nest requires a nudge over the side. Coddling him does him no favors and every harm for the time we won't be around to be his support, is how I see it.
Besides....There is a big factor kids don't think about, don't care about and many likely don't even know about. Kids won't go to jail or go bankrupt for liability over what Mommy or Daddy does in life. Mommy or Daddy CAN go to jail for what Jr. does...even at 20, if it's done under the parents roof and especially in a generally common area with a sofa. Yikes....