The NSA found out I was making boiled peanuts, they won't leave me alone now.

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posted on Mar, 12 2014 @ 08:13 AM
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I was cooking the popular southern snack food, and well, I mentioned the word pressure cooker a couple times to myself.

And now, well, the NSA, much like my ant, or roach problem, have come into my house, and won't stop trying to eat the food stuff.

They've eaten around half of my crockpot's worth of the peanuts, and, well, I didn't boil them for any government agencies.

I boiled these peanuts for me.

First, they came for the turkey deep-fryers, and I did not cry out because I did not deep fry turkeys.

Then, they came for the smoked brisket makers, and I did not cry out, because I did not own a smoker, or know how to cook brisket.

By the time they came for the boiled peanut makers, there was no one left to tell the NSA to cook their own damned boiled peanuts.

Them alphabet soup agencies are like bears. You have to hang your food from the branch of a tall tree or they will get to it.




posted on Mar, 12 2014 @ 08:31 AM
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reply to post by Grifter42
 


lol good post
I think though those bears are also the tree, and the rope to hang from. I mean they got your nuts in a vice grip already


My advice is to swing from the rope and kick the bears in the face if they try to snack on your clacka



posted on Mar, 12 2014 @ 08:31 AM
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don't feed the Security Bear




posted on Mar, 12 2014 @ 08:43 AM
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Cheeky sods could have at least brought you some beer .. erm .. nevermind forgot they drank it watching the surveillance tapes of the changing rooms at the beach ..



posted on Mar, 12 2014 @ 09:33 AM
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Just feed them. It keeps them friendlier. Now that they know you have food, they're like all other predators. If the food runs out, they'll attack.



posted on Mar, 12 2014 @ 10:35 AM
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The parody of Martin Niemoller's piece did not go unnoticed. Just so you know.



posted on Mar, 12 2014 @ 10:52 AM
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huhh - I wonder if my pressure cooker is registered - err - I mean my wifes pressure cooker - heh heh.



posted on Mar, 12 2014 @ 11:42 AM
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You just made my mouth water, damn you! here I am up in Seattle where no one knows what boiled peanuts are! They don't even sell them in cans here.

Today is going to suck.



posted on Mar, 12 2014 @ 11:51 AM
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reply to post by Grifter42
 



And now, well, the NSA, much like my ant, or roach problem, have come into my house, and won't stop trying to eat the food stuff.

They've eaten around half of my crockpot's worth of the peanuts, and, well, I didn't boil them for any government agencies.

You should thank God it wasn't the IRS,NSA it is the lesser problem



posted on Mar, 12 2014 @ 05:37 PM
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HeavenlyAngel
You should thank God it wasn't the IRS,NSA it is the lesser problem



The I.R.S. just shoots you in the back of the head if it wants your peanuts. It's fairly painless, and after they shoot you, you won't be using the peanuts anyway, so why should they go to waste?

I mean, sure, there was that time back in '86, where they stomped that guy to death because they thought he had a hidden supply of leftover legumes concealed in his drywall, but they had good intentions on that one. It just got a little out of hand.

If the I.R.S. wanted the boiled peanuts, I would give them to them, because I'm not that crazy. But to have the NSA spying on me and my crock-pot, looking for the perfect opportunity to steal delicious and nutrient dense boiled peanuts away from myself, an American citizen, is an offense I find most unforgivable. They ought to be finding rogue peanut boilers and putting them away. Instead, they just snoop on regular John Q. Peanut and take his snacks while he's not looking.





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