reply to post by StarlightNine
…It pops up once in a while over the years, but always goes away again. I think it was the small crisis that caused me to feel such a way. … I am
once again the Bionic Woman. (Atta girl) … My decades long solitutde has been a choice, therefore I have felt well with it, and
only have myself to blame for it. It doesn't mean that I haven't wanted a 'relationship' only that I don't want a bad one, and so have been
waiting rather patiently for all the pieces to align where they should.
I read this and I think "there's another ME out there!" The older I get the more the thought crosses my mind about what happens if my wife goes
first? Would I even think about starting up another relationship? The answer has always come back with an emphatic NO!, especially at my age. By
this time in life the baggage one carries around is hugely cumbersome. I wouldn't know where to begin trying to explain MY baggage, let alone deal
with someone else's. It takes YEARS for me just to get to know someone.
Not too long ago I realized that the best jobs I'd ever had were the ones where I either worked alone or had a lot of autonomy. Here I am a rancher,
now, and all I want to do is work on the ranch, alone. I do rant and rave that the son doesn't make it out now and then to help and I appreciate it
when my wife can fill in because a second set of hands certainly gets things accomplished much faster. However, the solitude - ahhh! I've enjoyed
solitude since I can remember even as a child. You either have that or you don't. As you did say, however, that twinge of loneliness does creep in
once in a great while and you have to deal with it, but then it moves on as all emotion does. Personally, I think it's simply brain chemistry of the
If you DO want a relationship to come your way, however, you have to occupy a "target rich environment". I hope you don't deny yourself that.
Well I think it is simply people that are hard....
There's the rub. There is no such thing as a relationship that doesn't require you to adjust something about yourself in order to maintain it.
Whether it's divesting or severely restricting a former joy, attitude, possession or what have you or acquiring a new skill (dancing would be mine -
I detest things that I'm completely incompetent in) to please a new "significant other" there is always a cost. There is so much I wish I knew
when I was 20+ but I doubt I'd had the intelligence to make use of it.
But we haven't kept the home fires burning since the dawn of time to be suddenly evil as a whole. Don't you think?
Absolutely! It's not the fire in the hearth at home that a man looks forward to seeing when they come home but the woman that maintains it and the
home because she has a mind to do so. It must also, I might add, be grounded in love as you've pointed out so many times before. If men would see
the woman in their life as a true and equal PARTNER with different, yet essential, job skills life would be so much easier all the way around.
Unfortunately all too many men can't even begin to even ask their wives what they think about a subject and try to understand it. Yup, been down
that road and drank the Kool-Aid a few times myself and regretted it.
I know for a fact that people can survive without love. But we are made to love and be loved. ...You simply want to wait until the best, the gentle,
the wise comes along. It isn't an easy road to take. But sometimes quite necessary.
And, again, I agree with you. I've wanted to have some kind of conversation like this with our daughter. Long story short - met a guy, made an
absolutely gorgeous baby, guy's a deadbeat, she and our grandchild live at our home now (she lost her house), no child support but he gets to see his
child because lack of child support is no reason to deny him that in Texas. Where's a hit man when you need one? Both I and her mom knows she hurts
and wants a relationship with a good guy but finding one has eluded her all this time mainly due to the damage this guy has done to her perception of
men her age. I fear she's a little TOO much like me and enjoys her solitude too much. What's good for my age is not for her's. She's damaged
her prospects in life on many levels despite her stellar work ethic.
Sometimes men frustrate me because they don't see the good thing when it's eye to eye and nose to nose with them. I guess you could say that for
women too. But it was times like that accident where it all comes home to me. Times like that I get so frustrated when people deny themselves or
others love. For stupid, meaningless reasons.
Priorities and perspectives. That’s so much of what it all boils down to. In a world that is so connected, where you can see everything all at
once, when so many choices, perceived and actual, present themselves to you it becomes virtually impossible to commit one’s self to anything that
rings of permanence regardless of desire or social pressure. As ignorant as people were of their own psychologies, knowing how to get along with a
spouse up until the very last of the 20th century, it was still easier to marry and stay together back then because all you had to deal with was
basically what was in your very narrow field of view. It’s why people flock to Texas for a life that’s perceived as simpler, easier, better …
dang it! If I deny myself love in this life I fall back on my personal belief in reincarnation. There is only so much one can accomplish in one