TED Talks: Nugent on Gun Control

As part of a court appointed mandatory public service announcement, Ted Nugent endorses this message.

1.: Try not to shoot anyone if there are people watching.

2.: I didn't mean to say that. Shut the camera off. We're doing this thing again.

3.: What do you mean this thing is live?

4.: Okay, okay. I get it now. I know where you live, Camera man, and you done pissed off the Nuge... But remember kids, if you find yer parent's gun, put it back. If you have to play with it, don't get fingerprints on it either.

5.: I am sorry to that security guard that I crippled on my 'Midland America Anti-Obama-rama' Rock-a-thon tour. I did not mean to shoot him in the spine. I swear, people just look like deer.

6.: If you're gonna put a gun away, fire it into yer ceiling to make sure it's empty. Try to make sure you're on the top floor when you do this. Lord knows the Nuge knows how this can backfire, like in '86, when I crippled a missionary on the upper floor.

7.: I'll slap whoever I goddamned please. What does that have to do with gun control?

8.: If you don't want to get shot, don't look like a deer. Try shouting, "I am not a deer.".

9.: Try not to sound like a deer when you ask not to be shot.

10.: Them damned PETA nut-jobs, they keep coming up here. Don't they know I'm crazy, and that I have plenty of wall space for heads? They already told me they was anti-gun. How dumb can you be?

11.: Human don't taste good. Tried it, didn't like it, try to hunt actual deer. I really don't mean to shoot y'all. I need y'all, to buy my records. You just really look like deer.

12.: Whatever the thing claiming to be Paula Deen is, it isn't human. Don't trust it. Call me if you see "her", and I'll save your sorry life.

13.: Remember, it's safer to carry a gun with the safety off, because what if you really need to shoot someone, and in the time between toggling the safety and pulling the trigger, you are shot? Remember the Nuge rules of safety, and always carry with a round in the chamber, safety off.

14.: Allow kids to have an age of innocence before you train them in fire arms. Wait until they're at least four for hand guns, and five for rifles and shotguns. A child should be ten before they are trained in large bore automatic weaponry.

15.: I swear, these people who break in to rob me are asking for it, and I ask you to support House Resolution 18777, in which murder by firearm is legalized in specialized scenarios (I.E. you are Ted Nugent, inside his home, with drifters you have lured in via trail of gin bottles).


16.: ATF? More like [CENSORED.]... Lousy bunch of peace loving [CENSORED] aren't fit to wash my [CENSORED].

Technical difficulties ended the "Ted Nugent Talks about Gun Safety" after that part.

In other news, anyone with information on Ted Nugent's whereabouts should contact their local constable. He's wanted for questioning in connection to a string of deaths related to celebratory gunfire coming back down. It's probably nothing though.

Teds an American citizen, same rights as the rest of us USA citizens. Free Speech. Right to bear arms. His opinion is just that" his" opinion. I would back up Ted in a firefight, can't say I'd help out our politicians in the same fight, probally let them lobby their way out of trouble. When Ted goes out a shoots up the town instead if shooting off his mouth, then we need to concern ourselves with what Ted Nugent has to say. Never really liked Ted, but I damn sure back him up on his free speech rights and his right to bear arms. Mocking the man and making fun of him does zero to address any problems at all. And we here in America...we got some problems. Ted wearing a damn loincloth is what we should make fun of.

reply to post by openyourmind1262


Relax, man. I like Ted Nugent.

I was just making a joke.

Personally, I am pro-gun, myself.

But I wrote this piece as a bit of theater of the absurd.

And I'm telling you, I'm decked out in safety orange, so if you try to claim you thought I was a deer, the jury will never buy it.

Only the Nuge has that sort of jury appeal. He's just a charismatic guy. Way better than O.J., and like, a hundred times crazier. Which I respect in a man.

If Ted Nugent were Phil Spector, Phil Spector's wife would still be alive because Ted Nugent knows enough about guns to know that you only point them at things you want to die, man. And that life is a matter of becoming self-actualized. Ted is cool with vegetarians, man. They make the best steaks.

Now, just relax, take a deep breath, and put the gun down. Don't shoot me. I'm just the court jester.

Jeez, I don't even know how to respond. While reading your OP
I kept wondering how ANY of the MILLIONS of people who
have been slaughtered (after their guns had been seized) by their
own governments would feel about your post.

I guess the easy answer would be NONE...cause they are all DEAD.

Nuge is an enigma at best. A draft-dodging constitutional zealot
who LOVES his weapons.

From my POV dodging the draft from a war you believe was created to
make money for the wealthy (most all war) is not that big a deal.
But then, shouting from your bully-pulpit about what a proud American
you are, is just a little weird.

I never have understood how people can take such pride in the geographic
location of WHERE they were born---like they had ANYTHING to do with
it. Likewise, pride in the color of their skin---like there was some weird
pre-life selection process where we each declared what color we wanted
to be---and then became PROUD after-the-fact because, apparently,
we chose correctly.

What a bunch of self-important dumb-asses we all are...the "Nuge" included.

BTW, the irony/humor was lost on me, sorry.

reply to post by Grifter42


I am 100 percent pro-gun. I also think 100 percent that Ted Nugent is a loud mouth boob. That's all I have to say about that lol.

reply to post by Grifter42


Ted nugent has no credibility with me and I have no time for anything he says, and its good he will never be president of NRA. Why? Because the man shoots animals for sport and not even feral ones, things like deer and bears. Hes a jerk, and I have no time for people who get off on killing natural wild life.

AthlonSavage
reply to post by Grifter42

 

Ted nugent has no credibility with me and I have no time for anything he says, and its good he will never be president of NRA. Why? Because the man shoots animals for sport and not even feral ones, things like deer and bears. Hes a jerk, and I have no time for people who get off on killing natural wild life.

I have never understood the concept of sport killing. It's sick. I just don't understand how killing any living thing is fun or a sport. If you need food, yeah, shoot the hell out of something and gobble it up. In self defense, completely understandable. Waiting out in the woods all day just to kill something and put its head on a wall is completely MENTAL to me.

reply to post by Holographicmeat


Ted has enough money to never hunt again. But they are people who hunt, kill & eat the animal they kill. A ton of them do it to suppliment their food supply. I am pro gun but I do not hunt. To many Foodlion Stores around. However I do know how to hunt so if the time comes I NEED to hunt for food, I can & will. Ted was raised in the culture of hunting and being self sufficent. But Ted's an asrehole of the tenth degree.

reply to post by openyourmind1262


I think every American should own a gun. But I also think we should have the freedom to make fun of draft-dodging pseudo-patriotic jingoistic morons with ego problems. Be they politician or musician.