Waiting for a knock at the door.

So I wrote this and e-mailed it to the white house and my local congressmen.

Dear President Obama and Congress,
I am not an ethnic Ukrainian, Syrian rebel, Egyptian rebel, nor a Libyan separatist. I am however a die hard AMERICAN and love my country dearly, that's why I've come up with a plan to help in the Ukraine.
Thinking back to when I was taught some fiscal responsibility, I came up with this idea. Now when I'm short on cash (for what ever reason) and I need money, usually I have to sell something that someone else want to raise the funds. Russia wants Crimea, and the Ukraine needs money. Problem solved! Sell Crimea to the Russians for say 5 Billion (that will give them 4 billion extra).
This will keep us out of the Geo-political crap and not have to butt heads with China and North Korea also. Borrowing Billions of dollars to give to these financially depleted uprisings just doesn't make any sense. I can't see any possibly benefit or favorable outcome by funding these people.
With that said, if you still feel the need to borrow vast amounts of money and give it away, private message me and we can arrange a meeting. I promise to invest it in continuing my college education HERE in America. I will also try to start a business HERE in America also, and try to make my country benefit DIRECTLY from said investment. I promise to keep all spending of the money transparent and give you some say in how its used (however it will be minimal). How's one hundred thousand sound as a start?
I eagerly await your response.


Even though its a rant I did it to vent and be funny so don't be to critical.

Can you hear footsteps on the roof of your house?
Has a little hole appeared in the ceiling with a tiny little probe sticking through?
Does your cell phone get warm when your not using it?
Is the webcam on your laptop showing as active?

reply to post by VoidHawk


No the tinfoil wall paper prevents most of that, and what it doesn't the Lithium and Prozac take care of (which I obviously forgot today).

Ahh .. but then the politicians . defense contracters and rest of the corrupt bastards wouldnt make their bloodmoney ..

iwontrun
reply to post by VoidHawk

 

No the tinfoil wall paper prevents most of that, and what it doesn't the Lithium and Prozac take care of (which I obviously forgot today).

LOL

I actually liked your idea, but I dont think they'll go for it.

reply to post by iwontrun

We know you were wanting to "vent" and just be funny. But...lets hope the W.H., NSA, FBI, CIA and all the others think so too.

(Whats that BEEPING sound????)

reply to post by mysterioustranger


Well, that's why I tried to keep it clean, but they still can give me money!

reply to post by iwontrun


I like your letter but it won't ever make it to anyone who matters. Even if it did they don't care about us like they want us to think they do.


Tomorrow's headline reads:
"Body found with what authorities believe is (3) self inflicted gun shot wounds to the back of the head"

Just kidding but if they really do come knocking be sure to have witnesses.

If you seriously think anyone is going to pay attention to this, including the White House, or the NSA, or the FBI, or whatever other agency you have your heart set on meeting, you're delusional. Of course you couldn't be, so I have to assume you've written this for the amusement of ATS. As a bona fide idea it is, of course untenable, if not downright stupid. As sarcasm, at least it is an attempt, but not a particularly clever one. As an insightful attempt to explain reality, it's dismal.

So what you will get is a machine-contrived letter in response, concocted by a bored intern who will suggest paragraphs 34, 86, and 134 from his bevy of response, which may or may not have anything to do with your rant, and that will be your response. The letter itself will not reach anyone with any authority to speak of, including "authorities" who would want to waste time quizzing you about your ideas.

But thanks for entertaining us here. S&F for you.

reply to post by iwontrun


why are you waiting for a knock on the door ?

reply to post by iwontrun

You know what? You prob will get a thank you letter on WH stationary with the official rubber-stamped BARRACK signature and everything...thanking you for writing.
(I got one!!)

reply to post by ignorant_ape


Girl scout cookies why else? Oh and the cable repair man!

TheLieWeLive
reply to post by iwontrun

 

I like your letter but it won't ever make it to anyone who matters. Even if it did they don't care about us like they want us to think they do.


Tomorrow's headline reads:
"Body found with what authorities believe is (3) self inflicted gun shot wounds to the back of the head"

Just kidding but if they really do come knocking be sure to have witnesses.

Or the old "he shot himself to death 6 times in the back of the head, while handcuffed behind his back, in the back of a squad car" "LEO's on the scene are baffled as to how this could happen"