What advice would you give to a person in their early 20s?

I would tell someone in their 20's to try like heck to make it to their 60's, at least... and I would tell my younger self to invest in Microsoft.

But really, I'd say the best wisdom is: just know everyone is basically as lost as you are and that some are better at pretending than others... and to generally be kind and try not to take anything for granted or too seriously... ever.

Oh, and take the time to read some books... some of them are amazing... and one more thing is that it's better to regret something you did, than something you didn't do.

Honestabe28
Having been a long time visitor of ATS I have realized that there are many members here that have jumped through many of the ropes and faced some of the unique challenges that life throws at you; sometimes with success and sometimes with failure. And it leaves me wondering,

What advice would you give to a young person in their early 20s based on your personal experiences that may help them while they build their future? I know many people here have a vast amount of experience and I was hoping you could share some of the lessons you have learned from your successes and your failures.

Maybe you could look at this as a "what would you tell your younger self if you could go back in time?" but I would prefer some universal advice that may apply to all of the young adults here at ATS with hopes that it may improve our chances of success.

As a 20 year old myself, I am very curious to hear what some of you have to say and look forward to implementing any solid advice.


Thank You!

Don't have children.
Don't have a wife or husband.
Don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend.
Until you have done this......

Find a good paying job, save what you can.
Buy a house, save what you can.
Buy a car, save what you can.
Travel the world with the savings (even if the travels are short).
Learn how to live.
Learn how to be happy.

when you have mastered the above....

Get married, have children (only if you want)

You are young, enjoy it.

Invest your money in a startup called google.

Follow your dreams, do not let anyone derail you if you have your sights set on a goal.
I dreamed to be a woodworker but my guidance counselor and my father had other plans for me.

To this day I Regret what happened way back in 1974, I knew what I wanted the the others ignored me and planned my future without a thought of my own inspirations.
Now I am 54 years old.....still hurting from that turn in my life.

Regards, Iwinder

One more. And its serious:

Dont settle down with a girl (or guy) too soon. Make sure to have 'fun'.
Also, make sure the mate of possible choice is sexually compatible. This is why its important to f$%* around in your early 20's, so that you know, AHEAD OF TIME, what you like sexually, and can make sure its an area of sure-compatibility with your possible mate.

reply to post by Iwinder


JESUS?!?! is that you?

Don't get married until your 30's, at least. (unless you're a fan of divorce)

Save at least 10% of your money, always.

Credit is everything, build it, keep it good.

Go to college while other people/scholarships, etc. are there to pay for it.

Get a cheap used car or motorcycle. No reason to throw good money away on flash.

WORK! Get a job, get to know your coworkers, clients, customers, NETWORK with them to land better jobs. This is NOT the 50's, expect to be at a job for a few years, and then move on to something better, more money and/or more opportunities for upward advancement.

Only get married for love. Any other reason leads to divorce.

Don't have kids until you're married for at least a year, and feel financially able to support them. They are EXPENSIVE!

No law saying you HAVE to have kids.

You do not have to find Mr. or Mrs. Right, right now. First, get a home, a decent job, savings, etc. THEN, worry about it.

reply to post by Honestabe28


I would say, travel, have more sex(safely mind you), have as much fun as you can, or Go to school and study your ass off the world is a #ty place and once you have a career and kids some things get #tier and others get better

acacko
learn Chinese

.. dubya tee ef. I'm assuming you mean a language. Chinese is not a language. Mandarin speakers are also decreasing in numbers, while Spanish is exploding.

to the OP. No matter how hard things get, these two words always make me feel better somehow: Fu@# it.

Don't click on any ad that says "weird trick"

I grew up in a world that was transitioning, so my role models were rock stars and anti-establishment people. It was good for the world, I suppose, to create a new paradigm, but in my coming-of-age years everyone was doing drugs, dropping out of college, and just kind of loafing around.

It took people in my generation a long time to jump start their lives. We had no idea who we were or what was important.

People waste so much time not knowing who they are or what they want. You have to get as specific as you can about what you want in life.

So, know yourself.

Then you work your butt off to make it happen. Work hard.

If I could do it all again, I would apply a razor-like focus to my life and blaze forward, learning the tools to completely and totally believe in myself and not take NO for an answer in life.

I see now we all have a great deal more of control over our reality than we think we do. Go forth and create!

- Stay yourself and be true
- Stay healthy (practice yoga)
- Don't trust synthetic pharmaceutical products, trust nature.
- Don't care about the judgements of others
- Respect elders
...

reply to post by Honestabe28


1) Stay at school as long you can.
2) Love your parents, do what they ask from you and live at their home as long you can.
3) Do what you love in life.
4) Find a career path you like as soon as you can.
5) Save all your money, don 't buy candies, toys, fancy clothes.
6) Don't do drugs, don't smoke, there is nothing cool about both.
7) Learn, read and verify everything you learn/read.
8) Enjoy a healthy life, eat your veges, don't eat pacific seafood, don't drink calorie drinks, avoid fast food.
9) Exercise every day or 4 days per week.
10) Live long and rich if you follow the above 9 steps.
11) Give back to community and people you love and care for once you reach step 10.

I Am 26 and I'm a couch surfer and sleeper I need some advice big time.. I suffer from ADHD and I feel trapped in my head ..I try college and fail the placement reading and writing I give up.. But something wants me to become something and something is. Tryna stop me .. Any advice please message me.. I read some but I need direct advice before it's to late.. ( I am unable to learn ) that's what I mean by to late.. Thx

Honestabe28


What advice would you give to a young person in their early 20s based on your personal experiences that may help them while they build their future?

-It's going to get harder. Buy the good armour.
-It's going to get easier.
-Love. Harder, longer, better.
-It's just a ride.
-When you find him/her work hard to keep it. The grass is never greener on the other side.
-Somebody is going to hurt you. Bad. Real bad. Don't lose yourself. You aren't replacable.
-Look beyond what your eyes see. Nothing is ever black and white.
-Be kind first. The book is never the cover.
-Remember you will be old one day. Don't forget to play like a kid sometimes.
-Butter beans, eggplant, creamed corn, and alfredo sauce are evil. Choose wisely.

reply to post by Honestabe28


Carpe Diem
Don't let people make you feel guilty for the sins of our fore-fathers
Respect your elders
Get to know your neighbors
Read as much as you can about Native Americans
Take care of Mother Earth!

reply to post by Honestabe28



There's no real structure to what I'm writing here… just thoughts as they come to mind, so hopefully it makes some sense.

Enjoy being young. Really enjoy it and don't apologize for it to anyone. Those who think you should, are those you don't want around you anyway.

Parents. Gone before you know it… never loose touch or let the days turn to weeks turn to months between calls. A parent is always wondering what their child is doing and how they are, at least once every day until the day they die. When you're a parent, you'll understand this. Often this is only learnt when it's too late… believe me.

Listen.

Learn to listen.

Listen to people who, for whoever reason, you find interesting. They've clearly got something to tell you and something you need to hear.

When appropriate, always ask questions. The wiser folk out there are always more than happy to answer and impart information and 'learned experiences' and will give you the time you require… if of course the question is the right one.

Be skeptical of those who insist on answering before you've actually asked the question. Not only do they have very little to say of any use or value… they're normally overwhelmingly f**king boring as well!

Party. Hard. Find your boundaries though, your limitations and have fun. How much can you know about yourself unless you've spent some time #ing about in your own head.

Keep it recreational and where it belongs. Boundaries. First sign of an issue or problem.. walk away. Stay away. When you're cool.. step back on your terms. Or not. Boundaries.

Listen to music. Good music. It's your own person sound track to your life. Just imagine how painful looking back will be if you listened to Katy Perry, Beyonce or Nicky Minaj

Travel. Travel. Travel. Experience firsthand what its like to suddenly understand that you're culture's history only spans a period slightly longer than 350 years. Feel what its like to walk on paving stones 1500 years old or more.. buildings the same age… being surrounded on all sides not just by works from the Masters of the Renaissance, but their teaches and mentors as well. Dine with families whose lineages date back to the time of Christ. There's no better way to understand another culture, empathize with other people of different histories, beliefs or skin colors than to live and exist amongst them. I've meet very very few racially intolerant or ignorant hate-mongers who have traveled extensively. To have an opinion on this world and those who live in it.. and yet to have not traveled further afield than your national boarders, at the very most, is like a trust fund child trying to sing in a blues band. Destined for the trash heap of irrelevance.

Spend some time in places like Goa or Ibiza; on a dance floor somewhere with 20,000 people in the same friendly, open and fun-loving state of mind. Experiencing a wall of sound that's thundering out of a 100K sound system, is something indescribable and yet essential to every one's soul at least once in their life I believe. Music designed as much for the 'occasion' as it is for the hedonistic indulgences that accompanying it… and it all makes perfect sense. Such a huge and beautifully constructed sound, that right through even fibre of your being is something very deeply tribal in its nature. (God I miss those days!! haha Good times indeed). Sadly, others profess the virtues of conformity and 'paying your dues' in some soulless, life-sapping office for the duration of your youth. I totally disagree.

They fail to understand or comprehend the enormous influence and experiential effect the above outlined 'past times' can have on the soul. I have my own theories on why they always seem to be in such a hurry to frown upon such fun-filled proclivities with their contrived offense and ignorant distain. They don't seem to grasp the often overlooked fact that they slaved for all those hours, weeks, years for a wage that barely covered their cost of living (such as it was!) and for experience they'll never use, need or be sought after for in the future… and then wonder why they're bitter.

Study. Higher Education and Learning… Hell Yes! Without question or pause… and do it as soon as you can, while you're brain is still used to the process and discipline of learning in that environment… because trust me, you for get how to study after a while. Get it out of the way and behind you by 23/24… then immediately, up and get the f*k out of dodge and travel. Go nuts. It's the only time to do it, from life learning perspective. Being relocated for a job isn't the same thing. Relocating overseas with a new bride doesn't either. And doing it with kids is just an exercise in self delusion… plus you'll murder them brutally by the end of the second week.

But seriously… I'm 44. I own an advertising agency in NZ with a business partner; We're successful. We're still here after 10 years so that says it all really; but I employ anywhere upwards of 35-40 people or more at any one time. If I have two CV's on my desk, both with the exact same qualifications and work experience, the deciding factor is always in favour of the person who's traveled extensively in their youth, while they were single. Every time.

Learn from your relationships… love, life or otherwise. The good are as valuable as the bad. How can you know the difference if you haven't experienced them both? How can you appreciate the good ones, if you've noting to compare it to? This leads to complacency….

… and complacency, above all other things, is the killer of life well lived.

(Just to clarify… the 'hard partying' should really only be confined to the years between 24-30 max! And for those out there who think the only way to a 'successful ' or fulfilling, happy 'life' is to conform to the way our parents did it and their parents before them did too; with no room for fun, adventure, exploring the world and making some mistakes while your still young enough to recover and learn from them… I (as have most of my close friends) done absolutely fine… successful careers or businesses, married with beautiful kids, time to enjoy them and life as well…. though very much dialed back from those early days. They were a phase, a fun period of time, but very much a part of who we are now as anything else. Hope you understand)

Find a non western woman.