Are you a psychological rapist?

reply to post by TDawgRex

No...you didn't miss a thing. I was simply reacting to your reactions as this seems to be a touchy subject to you. We all have our stories of where the opposite sex has done something to wrong us.

So you were reacting to my reactions? Ok. This actually is not a touchy subject to me. I have no problem talking about it and cannot imagine why you would think otherwise. And you are correct. We do all have stories of the opposite sex wronging us. And if we make them aware that they are doing it, which was the purpose of the article, then it should stop.

reply to post by tigertatzen


It wasn't an article it was a posting on a college website directed at students attending. This is supposed to be a place of learning and this obviously is part of what they are teaching their students.

Your reply is a lot of nonsense.

But yes, they took it down, as they should. And burn any reference to it that's not online.

reply to post by tigertatzen

What they are describing is not rape

Why are you still defending the schools position they took it down? (And you contradict it in your own statements.)

and nowhere was simply looking at a woman included in that list.

Actually yes it was. I believe one portion mentioned "Staring". The list was not, "all of these acts combined", it was a list and stated, these are instances of psychological rape.

Psychological rape consists of verbal harassment, whistles, kissing noises, heavy breathing, sly comments or stares.

Do you argue for the sake of arguing?

Wow I just realised why I don't get any dates or phone numbers, I knew I should cut out the heavy breathing, and wearing a trenchcoat probably isn't a good look either.

On a serious note I understand that there are some genuine issues to be dealt with but I can't escape the feeling that honestly many of the women I have seen so called championing womens health are probably suffering from personal mental or body image problems and just plain don't like it when other especially beautifull women get attention and they don't. Misery loves company and they would rather not be reminded of their unfullfilling social lives and basically make sure other women are as miserable as themselves. Now I know that I just spoke what many men are thinking and if your a guy and you don't feel that way then man you are not mainstream. I abhor the unwanted attention that some women get from creeps, I am completely behind freewill and if a woman does not want my advances I back off and walk away but come on this stuff has been going on for millenia, basically ever since we evolved from the african savannah. Its human nature and most of it is harmless.

What bugs me is people will come out and say this is all scientific and 1+3=4, but I know **** well the line between this and other things is blurry in everyday situations. Sure, if life was a laboratory, it'd be simple, but life isn't a laboratory.

I've never whistled at females or gave them any attention. All through my life I've seen other guys do this and I know it's rude, but then again, the more outspoken and social guys tended to do these sorts of things. I never did because I was a christian and also had social problems. In hte past few years I remmeber there was a lady with enormous hips and it was quite sexy, but I never ever said anything or stared and gave her as much room as possible. And yet guys would always say stuff. Is that rape? I don't think so, but it's rude and it'd be nice if someone would speak up and tell the guys who say things to shut up. I don't think she liked it. Generally, who wants to be thought of as just a piece of flesh?

I remmeber walking on a sidewal in a city and there were two ladies at another intersection and a group of guys nearby whistled and one of the guys aid "Hey baby." Is that rape? No. To me, it's dumb people that need to be taught manners. Throwing them in jail won't fix it and it'll just add more to our debt.

I agree with bigfatfurrytexan when he said the real world will never be completely safe. We have to be able to deal with some adversity like this.

I'd also like to say at some points in my life I've seen females do thigns like this too. So I know it's not exclusively the territory of men. In fact, a few times in my life, I've probably been the recipient of sexual harrassment. I'm not attractive or anything, but it was essentially flirting. I never felt like a victim and never felt threatened. For example, an older lady grabbed my butt, but I felt she did not have evil intent. I didn't hold any grudges. Now, if that's all I was to her and she did it consistently and I felt threatened, that'd cross a line. Few other examples.

I read this thread yesterday, and closed it biting my tongue. I still have that question from yesterday that I refrained from asking yesterday, and thus, I will ask it.

Are feminists really this paranoid and completely devoid of self confidence that they must bash everything? There is a very stark difference between predatory behavior, and a simple whistle, catcall or lengthy ogle. I have not once in my life felt threatened, or abused or whatever victimized term du jour they'd use (**by the way, this is a great way to water down the intensity of such victim-specific terminology) I recognize that stuff as an observation vocalized, "I like!" That's not predatory. Following someone because you like what you see is, forcing yourself into their space/on them IS. Lumping every single acknowledgement of attraction under the "rape" umbrella is sabotaging your own goals, by way of desensitizing & undermining: "Everything's considered rape now, oh well, who the bleep cares, can't tell overreaction from appropriate anymore." You people get me here?

To add to the anecdotes about godawful line crossing women, I've witnessed this, guys. Ask my husband about the pool hall whore who flung herself on him & groped everything she could touch in the middle of our pool match date back in the day. The woman was a disgusting sack of flesh with no respect for the man on a date with his girlfriend, let alone herself. And I'm supposed to feel sorry for women like this and go out of my way to coddle them because someone trumpets "Respect girls!" Nope. Never going to happen. You earn respect, it's not handed out willy nilly. She made no attempt to earn any.

reply to post by Soloprotocol

What i was getting at was the big push, By Women, to have lads Mags and such removed from the top shelf because they objectify women, but at the same time keep the 50 shades trilogy or whatever it is on the top shelf.. Maybe i'm missing something.

Ok then...I think I see your analogy. I personally have no problem with any of that, and here where I live they don't require skin magazines to be hidden. You can buy them at the same stores that sell 50 Shades. That does seem pretty silly actually. I could understand if they don't want any risque photos prominently displayed where children can see them, but because they "objectify" women? That makes no sense to me either, because women pose for those magazines and get paid rather well to do so. Like I said in an earlier post, my neighbor is a stripper, yet complains about men "hitting on her" while she is at work no less...absolutely mind-boggling to me.

tigertatzen

... it is just as degrading as someone putting their hands on you or pinching/grabbing your ass ...

Really???.... Looks like you fell for the 'always be a victim' brainwashing too...

Sorry, but being sexually assaulted, vs some lame-ass whistling, or honking his horn are VERY different things. I see other guys do this shít here in FL regularly and I just laugh at what losers they are...

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan

No, erotica is porn for women. It is geared towards what a woman wants. When my wife has been reading her "romance novels" on her nook, it has the same effect on her libido as if i watch nekkie ladies.

I'm not a fan of romance novels but I know many people who read them voraciously and indeed do find them to be a turn-on. You raise a very valid point. But it isn't the same thing and all women aren't into that kind of story. If I want to see porn, I'm not going to go buy a book...I'll just watch porn. Simple as that. But I do see your point... men tend to be more visually attuned and women tend to be less so. I personally will never make it to the end of a romance novel for the same reason I don't watch "chick flicks"...that stuff doesn't interest me and the female characters are annoying most of the time, as well. Still, I don't think either one counts as "objectifying" women...I see it more as fantasy to escape into and nothing more. It has nothing to do with real life.

tigertatzen

Amazing what an edumication gets you these days. Make sure not to breath heavy or show interest in women, because you might be a rapist. Oddly enough, if you're at a bar, and a girl likes you, she might be mad you're not doing one or two of these… Must be the alcohol.

reply to post by boncho

 

I wrote an essay on this very subject in college. Unless you are a woman and have been subjected to this type of behavior, please refrain from mocking things like this. That kind of crap can be downright scary. I don't own a vehicle and I walk everywhere or take the bus. I can tell you that this happens to me a lot, and it is never welcome. I am very good at taking care of myself but the reality is, I am a 117 lb. woman and if someone decided to attack me and they had me cornered, they might just get me. And some of the guys out there act like they just might. I carry four rolls of quarters in the bottom of my bag at all times just in case i need to drop someone with them...have for years.

At the very least, I find that behavior to be disgusting. Why would you breathe heavy in the general direction of a woman you don't know? I guess if you want her to think you're some revolting mouth-breather that would work. Whistling, catcalling, "hey baby"-ing, blowing kisses, staring a woman up and down, and my personal favorite...honking the horn in your car while a woman is walking down the street; all of those behaviors are the last thing that makes me go "oooh, i really want to hook up with that guy!" But the reason they refer to it as "psychological rape" is that it is just as degrading as someone putting their hands on you or pinching/grabbing your ass (i once knocked a man's molar out for that), or rubbing up against you...only without actually touching you. Why should any woman have to endure that kind of thing whenever she goes out in public? The answer to that is: she shouldn't have to.

Whatever happened to playful banter.

Whatever happened to a world were the guy on the scaffolding could whistle at a girl passing by, as they have done since the begining of time, and he wasn't considered a rapist.

There is a world of difference between a guy playfully honking his horn, or whistling from a building site, and an actual pervert, who goes out on the street rubbing up against you on the bus or metro like a horny dog asking you "what colour panties your wearing."

When did we as a race, become so pathetic, so politically correct, that the mere fact that a man whistles at a girl or pays her a compliment "woah babe" etc etc, from his car window, is considered a form of sexual assault.

Im sure (nearly) every normal to good looking woman has at one time "suffered" this, bu they don't go home crying and ringing a psicologist for help...They give the guy involved the finger, a quick "FUC* YOU CREEP" and on their way...

It's sad that today we feel we must LABEL everything..

reply to post by 8675309jenny

Really???.... Looks like you fell for the 'always be a victim' brainwashing too... Sorry, but being sexually assaulted, vs some lame-ass whistling, or honking his horn are VERY different things. I see other guys do this shít here in FL regularly and I just laugh at what losers they are...

I too, laugh at what losers they are. And I am acutely aware of the fact that sexual assault is not the same as whistling. Having been the victim of sexual assault from the ages of 11-15 by a family member, I learned that distinction early in life. So no, I did not "fall for the 'always be a victim' brainwashing" at all. I was indeed a victim. But I am not now, nor will I ever be again. Largely in part because after what happened to me, I learned how to defend myself and I avoid situations that make me feel like I may be in danger of that happening again.

What I was referring to is the violation of personal space, the harassment, the stalking, the driving up behind you while you're walking and blaring the car horn, the blowing kisses to a person you don't even know, is just as much of a degradation as having your ass grabbed. And it is. The reason they referred to it as "rape" was because one of the definitions of rape is that it is a violation, a "spoiling" of a place or a thing. They used that as a loophole to insert a word into the title that they knew would be guaranteed to get attention, as is fairly typical of journalism to do. Should they have picked another term? Yes, absolutely. Is this the first time I have said on this thread? No, and I am getting tired of repeating myself.

reply to post by boncho

Why are you still defending the schools position they took it down? (And you contradict it in your own statements.)

Why are you continuing to say silly, make-believe things? I never once defended that school in any way. In fact, Captain Context, here is what I actually said:

What they are describing is not rape. It is obnoxious, unwelcome, bothersome and frightening to some people as well, but it is not rape. And they were erroneous in labeling it as such.

Nice try though.

It wasn't an article it was a posting on a college website directed at students attending. This is supposed to be a place of learning and this obviously is part of what they are teaching their students.

It was a posting in an online college newsletter. Commonly referred to as an "article".

From my post:

and nowhere was simply looking at a woman included in that list.

You:

Actually yes it was. I believe one portion mentioned "Staring". The list was not, "all of these acts combined", it was a list and stated, these are instances of psychological rape.

Actually, no it wasn't.

1look verb \ˈlu̇k\ : to direct your eyes in a particular direction : to seem to be something especially because of appearance : to have an appearance that is suitable for (something)

Versus:

1stare verb \ˈster\ : to look at someone or something for a long time often with your eyes wide open1
to look fixedly often with wide-open eyes
2
: to show oneself conspicuously transitive verb
1
: to have an effect on by staring
2
: to look at with a searching or earnest gaze
— star·er noun
— stare one in the face
: to be undeniably and forcefully evident or apparent

source

Not the same thing, and if you don't know that I'd suggest you brush up on your cognitive skills.

Do you argue for the sake of arguing?

No, I do not. But it's looking like you certainly do. And you're not very good at it.

reply to post by andy1972

When did we as a race, become so pathetic, so politically correct, that the mere fact that a man whistles at a girl or pays her a compliment "woah babe" etc etc, from his car window, is considered a form of sexual assault.

I think even calling it a form of "sexual assault" is a huge exaggeration. The article immediately lost credibility because of trying to equate harassment with an act of rape. The behaviors I am referring to personally are not just a whistle and a compliment. I can't type what they say because if i did I would violate ToS. There is nothing wrong with someone paying another person a compliment. I am referring to aggressive behaviors...following people in the store or blocking their way, following them out to their car, saying really vulgar things...those types of behavior are degrading and for some people, very frightening. But by no means are they a form of sexual assault.

tigertatzen
reply to post by andy1972

 

When did we as a race, become so pathetic, so politically correct, that the mere fact that a man whistles at a girl or pays her a compliment "woah babe" etc etc, from his car window, is considered a form of sexual assault.

I think even calling it a form of "sexual assault" is a huge exaggeration. The article immediately lost credibility because of trying to equate harassment with an act of rape. The behaviors I am referring to personally are not just a whistle and a compliment. I can't type what they say because if i did I would violate ToS. There is nothing wrong with someone paying another person a compliment. I am referring to aggressive behaviors...following people in the store or blocking their way, following them out to their car, saying really vulgar things...those types of behavior are degrading and for some people, very frightening. But by no means are they a form of sexual assault.

That is exactly what i said..the classic "stalker that follows you for 5 blocks, dressed in a long raincoat that hides the fact he has a hole cut in his trouser pocket through which he jerks of while standing next to you on the metro" type..yes, should be deemed assault as it's clearly of an agressive sexual nature, however some some hardhat 7 floors up shouting -

"HEY...BEAUTIFUL...do you think all guys think with their dick? then will you blow my mind?"

is just cheesey, he knows it, she knows it, and he only does it to hide the fact he's probably henpecked, impotent or gay and he feels he has to do it to be "one of the guys"..but he know's his limits and wouldn't even THINK about following a girl to her car..unless she asked him to change a blown out tyre..

The article is overexagerated example of how we as society have changed for the worse this century...and i don't see it getting any better.

tigertatzenI was indeed a victim. But I am not now, nor will I ever be again.

You WERE a victim of sexual assault. But stop playing the victim when it's not anything like that.

YOU were the one who equated whistling with actually being touched. Big difference!

What I was referring to is the violation of personal space, the harassment, the stalking, the driving up behind you while you're walking and blaring the car horn, the blowing kisses to a person you don't even know, is just as much of a degradation as having your ass grabbed. And it is.

And YET AGAIN there you go equating two MASSIVELY different things.

The reason they referred to it as "rape" was because one of the definitions of rape is that it is a violation, a "spoiling" of a place or a thing. They used that as a loophole to insert a word into the title that they knew would be guaranteed to get attention, as is fairly typical of journalism to do. Should they have picked another term? Yes, absolutely. Is this the first time I have said on this thread? No, and I am getting tired of repeating myself.

Thank your for acknowledging that this nonsense trivializes actual rape victims.

boncho
reply to post by tigertatzen

 

What they are describing is not rape

Why are you still defending the schools position they took it down? (And you contradict it in your own statements.)

and nowhere was simply looking at a woman included in that list.

Actually yes it was. I believe one portion mentioned "Staring". The list was not, "all of these acts combined", it was a list and stated, these are instances of psychological rape.

Psychological rape consists of verbal harassment, whistles, kissing noises, heavy breathing, sly comments or stares.

Do you argue for the sake of arguing?

edit on 7-3-2014 by boncho because: (no reason given)

edit on 7-3-2014 by boncho because: (no reason given)

No, she argues because she's been completely brainwashed to hate Men. Can you believe this person has children? I can hardly fathom the twisted gender education she will be giving her kids. Feminists, specifically the rabid American version, have completely lost their marbles.

God help us if she has sons. They're going to grow up totally emasculated, hating themselves for "raping" Women with their thoughts as they hit puberty. We've become a nation of wussified Males due to the incredibly vicious attack on masculinity and Male culture by Feminist "liberators", who in their plight for equality have become oppressors of Men altogether.

Now consider the astronomically high divorce rate in America, compared to the rest of the world. That's a near 50% chance that getting married to an American Woman will end in divorce, a broken family, and children growing up without a Father figure to accurately represent Male values to young Men, while the Mother selfishly pursues the next 'chapter' in her romance novel life. Not to forget WHY the divorces happen, which I'm going to suggest Feminism is likely a contributing factor.

I think colleges across the nation should start warning young Men that if their girlfriends and fiance starts to show signs that she's harboring any kind of Feminist ideologies, she should be dropped and fast. A recommendation that she see a behavioral therapist would be in order as well.

Before any Feminists begin to challenge my comment as anecdotal, it's not. I was smart enough to marry a foreigner who wasn't brain damaged by watching Real Housewives and Sex in the City, thinking that kind of behavior is real life.

reply to post by 8675309jenny

You WERE a victim of sexual assault. But stop playing the victim when it's not anything like that. YOU were the one who equated whistling with actually being touched. Big difference!

Where is it that you are having problems understanding that I am not doing any such thing? I have said repeatedly that these are not physically violent behaviors. In no way, shape or form is being whistled at an equal act as touching someone. And no, I never said it was.

My words :

What I was referring to is the violation of personal space, the harassment, the stalking, the driving up behind you while you're walking and blaring the car horn, the blowing kisses to a person you don't even know, is just as much of a degradation as having your ass grabbed. And it is.

That is my quote that YOU quoted. Now tell me, where did i say anything about whistling being equal to touching someone? YOU are twisting my words around and YOU are stuck on this like a broken record. I have already stated numerous times that I do not believe that the behaviors mentioned could be classified as sexual assault. Why?? Because they are not sexual assault. Because in order to sexually assault someone, you have to physically touch them, right? And the last time I checked, whistling is not accomplished by physically touching them. And I have not made any such statement suggesting otherwise. What I did say is that the degradation which results when being stalked, followed, harassed, etc. is just as profound as it is if some guy grabs your ass. But equate whistling with sexual assault??? Absolutely not.

And YET AGAIN there you go equating two MASSIVELY different things.

Please go back and read it again. Slowly this time. Take notes if you have to.

Thank your for acknowledging that this nonsense trivializes actual rape victims

Far from the first time I have said that in this thread. If you bothered to actually read everything before taking things out of context and using them to make ridiculous accusations about people, you'd already know that.

taoistguy
well, i'm outta this thread. there seems to be some who just don't understand the political, social, cultural and historical issues and some who don't want to. nothing more can be said.

Same here...round and round and round where we go.

reply to post by andy1972

The article is overexagerated example of how we as society have changed for the worse this century...and i don't see it getting any better.

It is over-exaggerated. And I'm fairly certain they meant for it to be. And no, it likely will get a whole lot worse before it gets better. It's sad, really...what could have been a learning opportunity for both genders to help understand each other better turned into a huge, nasty fight because someone saw fit to assign it under the classification of "rape". And no matter how many times you or I or anyone else says that we don't agree with it, people are going to ignore that and just keep fighting. If people aren't willing to listen to each other on such a small scale as this, I shudder to think what would ensue if they really were able to make something like that a law.

reply to post by InTheLight

Same here...round and round and round where we go.

Me too. I can only repeat myself so many times before it becomes too tiresome to deal with. The OP got what he was after, anyway Going to see if there are any juicy alien threads to entertain myself with