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Are you a psychological rapist?

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posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 08:54 AM
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reply to post by ketsuko
 


Sex does not mean lack of respect. You can meet someone have fun have sex and part never to meet again in an entirely respectful way.
I would suggest alcohol is probably the main cause of bad sexual encounters.
So while I would agree lack of respect is an issue, it because we view sex a dirty. Not because sex is bad.




posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 08:56 AM
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tothetenthpower
Yes yes, the ongoing culture of teaching women to be afraid of EVERY SINGLE Man they meet that they don't know, or sometimes even know for that matter.


Well I haven't usually been frightened by cat calls I'll admit. If I am there is something else going on. Context and other nuances of communication are important.

However...


tothetenthpower

How sad that the ridicule of men's culture has come so far in just a few short decades.



"Hey baby come sit on my face" is worthy of ridicule, but if you want to defend crap like that as part of "men's culture" then to each their own I suppose; by that same token I'll keep my contempt for men who consider behavior like that as something they are entitled to be allowed to do. Those are not men I want any where near me or my daughter.



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 08:58 AM
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reply to post by ketsuko
 



Women are taught to behave like men when it comes to sex. Hook up as many times as you want with whomever you want. Dress as skimpily as you want, and they even hold slut walks. Why keep drawing it back to sex if the point is that you aren't inviting sex and objectifying yourself by dressing/behaving that way?


Would it be fair to say that some women are taught that way? Yes, some of us are. But the overwhelming majority of women don't fit in that category. I personally was not, and only know a handful of women who were. Obviously, if a woman is openly engaging the advances of strange men and have overtly put themselves into that type of situation, the dynamic is completely different. For instance, if I were a stripper I really couldn't complain about being leered at while at work...that would be silly. And I know strippers who do complain about it, odd as that is. However, if it's my night off and i am in the grocery store doing my shopping and wearing regular clothing, minding my own business (which is the type of scenario they are talking about in that article), I shouldn't have to be subjected to that kind of harassment even though I take my clothes off for a living. The behavior described in the article would not seem out of the ordinary in a strip club. But in a grocery store?

Are we to believe that by your logic, all women should have to endure that kind of harassing and degrading behavior because some women take their clothes off for money? Are you saying that since my next door neighbor is a stripper that it's not a problem that i get hit on and stalked by creepers in the grocery store simply because I know her? That somehow we are all deserving of being treated with disrespect because other women on the planet are strippers or porn stars or prostitutes? That makes about as much sense as saying that a relative few men out there are sexual predators, therefore all men are rapists just waiting to happen. Do you condone mistreating women simply because that's what people expect from all men by proxy? I don't care how many women out there take their clothes off...that is no kind justification for the rest of us to be treated this way.



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 08:58 AM
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reply to post by ketsuko
 



And of course, there is always the truth that when a woman sleeps around a lot, everyone knows, and that carries its own reputation. People will say that's making sex dirty or bad, but that's not true. What makes sex dirty or bad is when you cheapen it and sleeping around with multiple partners at the drop of hat tends to do that. It's a risky behavior that shows a lack of respect for both you and your partners


That's a myth too. Plenty of girls have their fare share of escapades at the bar, they simply make sure when they do it they are in control. Don't end up in a bad spot.

Where it gets hazy is when a girl lets a guys demean them for their actions. Soon as that happens it sets them into this weird thing where they start feeling shame, and some ass guy will think whatever they get from them should be mandatory.

Communication skills are key for women.



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 08:58 AM
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WilsonWilson
No it feeds the image that a man following her in the dark could be a rapist. That's nor a looney feminist notion it's just the truth.


Yep, the man following you in the dark could be a rapist. And the person knocking at your door could be a home invasion. And the person sitting next to you in the bus could be a pickpocket. It could be.

But you know, most of the time, when a man is following you in the dark parking lot, he really is just getting to his car, and you happen to be there. I don't want to get pepper spray in the face because someone watched too many movies.



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 08:58 AM
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2nd mod note/warning

Keep it clean or there shall be consequences.

Do not reply to this post



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 09:00 AM
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WilsonWilson
reply to post by ketsuko
 


Sex does not mean lack of respect. You can meet someone have fun have sex and part never to meet again in an entirely respectful way.
I would suggest alcohol is probably the main cause of bad sexual encounters.
So while I would agree lack of respect is an issue, it because we view sex a dirty. Not because sex is bad.


Is it that we view sex as dirty or that we have a culture that makes it dirty?

How can you watch much of what goes on in the music industry, for example, and claim that makes sex anything other than dirty? I certainly don't see anything there that makes sex anything to be proud of in any way. It's all cheap and tawdry, no better than porn in a lot of cases. That's the culture and our kids pump that stuff in like candy. And just like too much candy, it poisons.

You want to make sex something worth respect? Then build a culture that respects it, and by that I mean that more is not always better. We have lots now and look what it's getting us.



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 09:02 AM
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TheWetCoast
reply to post by boncho
 

In my opinion this thread is designed to promote anger and hostility.


in my opinion, a lot of threads here on ATS are designed to promote anger and hostility. as well as confusion, frustration, fear, and paranoia.



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 09:03 AM
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reply to post by boncho
 


Actually, I was talking about both men and women on the lack of respect and multiple partners thing.

Given the risk of disease and unwanted pregnancy, picking up multiple mostly anonymous partners shows a lack of respect both for yourself and for them when you get right down to it. If you actually cared, you wouldn't want to go there without more care on your part at least.



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 09:05 AM
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jimmyx

TheWetCoast
reply to post by boncho
 

In my opinion this thread is designed to promote anger and hostility.


in my opinion, a lot of threads here on ATS are designed to promote anger and hostility. as well as confusion, frustration, fear, and paranoia.


It really wasn't. I thought it was absurd to call something like this psychological rape. Harassment if unwanted (and personally I think warned.), but nonetheless, not what the article describes it as.

The same thing happens to guys to. Try working in a cougar bar when you're in your 20s. The thick of it is, this stuff is easily brushed off. Unless it is intended to be creepy, and the persons actions are going to go beyond the words, or they don't lay off after you show disinterest, it's just human behaviour.



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 09:07 AM
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boncho

Don’t allow psychological rape or commit it yourself. Psychological rape consists of verbal harassment, whistles, kissing noises, heavy breathing, sly comments or stares. These are all assaults on any woman’s sense of well-being. The underlying intention is to intimidate the woman. They are power plays couched in the language of sex.


Courtesy of Goshen College.

Amazing what an edumication gets you these days. Make sure not to breath heavy or show interest in women, because you might be a rapist.

Oddly enough, if you're at a bar, and a girl likes you, she might be mad you're not doing one or two of these… Must be the alcohol.
edit on 1-3-2014 by boncho because: (no reason given)


Well, now, it depends on what the type of interest you have in the woman in question and vice versa.

Of course it's the alcohol and/or drugs in that and other partying or sexually-charged environments; judgements are impaired.

Quote from the study: "Don’t rape. This may seem obvious or offensive, but rape can be an elusive subject. In a recent national survey on college campuses, one out of 12 men admitted to fulfilling the legal definition of rape, but did not admit raping someone."

Huh, national survey on college campuses! Well, let us be thankful for self-control being the main driver and if college-aged men have issues with the legal definition of rape and/or sexual harassment, then do something to change it. In the meantime, learn how to be courteous and respectful to each other, whatever sexual inclination or gender. Just one more thing to add to your edumication!

ca.askmen.com...



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 09:09 AM
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reply to post by tigertatzen
 


You are missing the point I am trying to make.

It's a cultural thing now. The overriding culture teaches us this. Sex and the City, Girls are two examples of shows that show us this behavior directly and are wildly popular (well Girls is wildly popular with critics at least). There are other examples in other shows. The Daily Beast article I linked to showed an example from another show from just one episode of that type of behavior.

As a parent and as a someone who was raised, no, I was never taught this was acceptable behavior, but it's in the culture that this is how empowered women behave.

That's my point, and when your daughter gets to college and runs into a feminist prof, that may be what she'll get in the classroom, too. I did in my one feminist class I took to fulfill an elective requirement.

And if you and I aren't good as parents, mass culture fills in the gaps.



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 09:12 AM
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reply to post by ketsuko
 


It intelligent to be aware at night and be concerned at someone following behind you.
As for myself I don't have to dig too deep for my fear of guys walking behind me, because I was mugged 2 years ago, I was punched in the head and thrown to the ground and had my bag taken from me. I was 4 week pregnant at the time, something I didn't know as a I did struggle for my bag and tried to chase him. Not my brightest moment but in my defence I had just been punched in the head!
I don't fear all men, I don't view all men as rapists, I don't agree with psychological rape as described in the OP. As another person has said it's harassment.
I will add that I was actually mugged during the day, so for a while I was freaked out by men walking behind in the daylight as well.

edit on 2-3-2014 by WilsonWilson because: (no reason given)

edit on 2-3-2014 by WilsonWilson because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 09:12 AM
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reply to post by Cathcart
 





Yes, I have. It even went as far as suggestive touching. And I've seen plenty of men get the same type of attention, and much more, in public spaces. I see it all the time. It is quite annoying and uncomfortable. But no one is calling it "psychological rape" since it was done by women. Because men apparently can't say no or something.


I would think that the discomfort level would be just as bad for men as it is for women. It should not have to happen to men either.

But some folks on this thread are using the strange justification that because it can happen to men, why not women.

People that objectify others tend to be insecure and desperate.



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 09:16 AM
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The whole thing just reminds me of this Simpsons episode...

Guest: I don't know Homer Simpson; I never met Homer Simpson, or had any contact with him, but... [sobbing] I'm sorry; I can't go on. Kent : That's okay. Your tears say more than real evidence ever could. - Homer is accused of sexual harassment



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 09:30 AM
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Whilst I think that anyone who does heavy breathing as some kind of chat up must be a real "mum's basement dweller. " There's a danger of everything spiralling out of control so that anything other than total passivity on a man's part could be taken as harassment.

intent matters more than the act. It should be neither threatening nor belittling to give a compliment or start a conversation with someone who you think is hot.

on a side note, I can well remember being younger and walking home from a club at 2 in the morning with the feeling that I should cross a road just because the girl 20 yds in front might be spooked by being "followed" Not a nice feeling and there's no cure for it. Can you imagine how freaky it would be to have a stranger catch up to you and insist they weren't following you?



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 09:32 AM
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Witness2008
I would think that the discomfort level would be just as bad for men as it is for women. It should not have to happen to men either.

But some folks on this thread are using the strange justification that because it can happen to men, why not women.

People that objectify others tend to be insecure and desperate.


Yep, it should not happen. But it does happen, all the time. That particular form of sexual harassment is practised equally by men and women. So it's kind of funny that male victims weren't brought up in the linked article, nor in most of the posts here. Are we fair game, or do we have less visibility or something? Because right now women are not called out on it, and they're pretty much having a field day...



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 09:33 AM
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reply to post by generik
 





"sexual harassment complaints", she threw at any MALE that she got mad at. you are right it WAS FRIGHTING. especially with the "power" she had over EVERY MALE in the workplace, all due to "sexual harassment laws.


I know a guy that this very thing happened to. He was accused, lost his job, took it to a civil court and won.

When it comes right down to it, men and women share more than we want to admit sometimes. Threads like this that serve only to bait us into arguments and division are just an example of what is out there in the real world. We should stand up for one another instead of finding excuses to continue the assaults.

So sorry that this happened to you too.



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 09:35 AM
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reply to post by WilsonWilson
 


There is a difference between being aware and concerned and being afraid. Being afraid makes you a victim before anything has actually happened to you and predators sense that.



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 09:40 AM
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ketsuko
reply to post by WilsonWilson
 


There is a difference between being aware and concerned and being afraid. Being afraid makes you a victim before anything has actually happened to you and predators sense that.
That's a good point..

If I'm walking at night minding my own business and YOU are afraid, that is clearly YOUR problem, it's not my fault. You make yourself afraid.



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