Are you a psychological rapist?

taoistguy
reply to post by doubletap

 

it's already beem explained that it's not the words said. but the other things alonside them. :\

The problem is the word is abused. Just cause the word "rape" is added, it should be taken serious as the real rape. Actually, good for people to call everything rape, soon, people will loose sensitiveness to such words and don't even bat an eye for real rape.

I heard giving flowers to girl is also a rape and sexism. Discuss. Lolz

bigfatfurrytexan
reply to post by luciddream

 

It was a response to your statement regarding female pedophiles.

Underage teenage boy is a predator if he has relationship with his teacher? O.o!??

edit: Not the other way around?

luciddream

taoistguy
reply to post by doubletap

 

it's already beem explained that it's not the words said. but the other things alonside them. :

The problem is the word is abused. Just cause the word "rape" is added, it should be taken serious as the real rape. Actually, good for people to call everything rape, soon, people will loose sensitiveness to such words and don't even bat an eye for real rape.

I heard giving flowers to girl is also a rape and sexism. Discuss. Lolz

Just for the record, here is a book authored by a male doctor entitled "The Emotional Rape Syndrome". Does this make him a feminist?

emotional-rape.com...

reply to post by InTheLight


I could not click on the link, my work Browser labelled it as "Pornography" and blocked it.

Anyway, who says there can't be male feminist, they, imo, are worse than the female feminist.

I heard giving flowers to girl is also a rape and sexism. Discuss. Lolz

reply to post by luciddream


Well, if she has repeatedly told you to eff off and you camp out at her doorstep for days at a time, while she is cowering behind a locked door, it is definitely implied.

luciddream
reply to post by InTheLight

 

I could not click on the link, my work Browser labelled it as "Pornography" and blocked it.

Anyway, who says there can't be male feminist, they, imo, are worse than the female feminist.

Who says people who advocate against rape in any form are likely feminists?

reply to post by calstorm

Well, if she has repeatedly told you to eff off and you camp out at her doorstep for days at a time, while she is cowering behind a locked door, it is definitely implied.

I understand it is a harassment.

You "definitely imply" it as a rape? where there is no physical interaction(violence) or a sexual interaction(rape)?

Interesting why people don't even take these things seriously anymore.

More this word is used, the faster people take it less seriously.

If people want to dig their own grave.. sure why not.

reply to post by luciddream


Sorry, I should have been more clear, I meant the threat of rape was implied.

reply to post by InTheLight

Who says people who advocate against rape in any form are likely feminists?

Who says that anyway? anyone can be raped, Tho the feminist would like to focus on one sex of course(equality eh?).

Like i mentioned earlier i could not open the link.. since you mentioned a "male doctors" with a typical title like that..., i picked up from there.

reply to post by calstorm

...threat of rape....

...How? im can't how a annoying person giving flowers, repeatedly when refused, or bothering someone.... is a Threat of Rape?

Do you actually know what is a threat of rape is?


edit: i'll reply tomorrow! work shift done!

luciddream
reply to post by calstorm

 

...threat of rape....

...How? im can't how a annoying person giving flowers, repeatedly when refused, or bothering someone.... is a Threat of Rape?

Do you actually know what is a threat of rape is?


edit: i'll reply tomorrow! work shift done!

edit on 3/6/2014 by luciddream because: (no reason given)

Edit: NVM if you don't see that as threatening then I don't know what to tell you. I gave scenario of when giving flowers is more than just giving flowers.

InTheLight
Just for the record, here is a book authored by a male doctor entitled "The Emotional Rape Syndrome". Does this make him a feminist?

emotional-rape.com...

edit on 6-3-2014 by InTheLight because: (no reason given)

Michael Fox PhD identifies narcissism as the greatest telltale sign of an emotional rapist. Perhaps we should investigate the approaches taken in persecuting others due to perceived slights or offenses in contrast to the actual studies done on narcissism?

dictionary.reference.com...

1. inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity. Synonyms: self-centeredness, smugness, egocentrism.
2. Psychoanalysis . erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development.

How to Spot a Narcissist
www.psychologytoday.com...

Because control is so important to narcissists, they can abruptly lose their charm if destabilized or threatened. This two-faced behavior is often the first clue to their true character. They get angry when rejected, overreacting to small slights and punishing those who do not support their grandiose image of themselves. One study even found that when spurned, highly narcissistic individuals "punished" other research participants who had nothing to do with the rejection itself.

This is very similar to the approach being taken by organizations with similar views to the author of the original article. They seek to punish the entire group due to the actions of a few and their perceived intent in those actions. I have yet to see any reports on whether the "assailants" were questioned on their intents so this likely is an area that needs to be fleshed out further.

In the realm of friendship, Jonason and his colleagues find that narcissistic women seek out higher-status opposite-sex friends whereas narcissistic men tend to have other male friends, sometimes called "wingmen," who also have a short-term mating strategy and can help each other exploit women. "Women are looking to get something from the guys, and guys are looking for a teammate to take advantage of the world," notes Jonason.

Getting something from others is not limited to physical things, it can include attention, praise, or merely a response. It is often the power of getting others to agree to things they would not normally do which provides the satisfaction.

The approach of trying to get all men to shame themselves, because of course all men are rapists, is very in line with the power plays associated with emotional rapists.

5 Signs of a Stealth Narcissist

. . .

Bragging about one's perfect family (no one's family is perfect).

Hypergenerosity in public to demonstrate that one has power, but coldness once the camera is off.

Hypersensitive and insecure. This includes imagining criticism where it doesn't exist and getting depressed by perceived criticism."Vulnerable" narcissists are self-centered and overly defensive.

Prone to a vast array of negative emotions including depression, anxiety, self-consciousness, and shame owing to not being given their "due." Such feelings can be an indication of egocentricity and self-absorption.

Repeatedly puts down other people, especially inferiors and strangers. Loves to talk about him or herself and mentions others mainly to name-drop.

Hmm imagining criticisms and perceptions of "rapey" intent that are assumed to be true without question? Extremely self conscious and prone to a vast array of negative emotions? Repeatedly putting down strangers as "animals" or "cave men?"

It seems those arguing in support of the language used in this article display strikingly similar traits to the emotional rapists they claim to oppose.

How about instead of calling others rapists for staring (though it may be impolite under the current social structure which feminists fantasize of destroying), we all work on gaining a bit of security in ourselves?

-FBB

But I assume this will only garner an emotional boohoo "men make feel bad about myself" so they need to be taught how to avoid looking in my direction in a way I could possibly perceive as being given a "rapey" look.

well, i'm outta this thread. there seems to be some who just don't understand the political, social, cultural and historical issues and some who don't want to. nothing more can be said.

reply to post by boncho


Honestly I'm sick and tired of listening to human beings pretend they aren't animals. The only thing that "I think there for I am" gave us is a huge ego that makes us think we are better than everything else on this planet.

It has become so corrupt that our own warped adventure into what really amounts to God-status ends with dribble like this.

This has got to be the biggest mindf^@k on the human population - creating victims and evil doers out of human behavior that has probably been going on for thousands of years (if not more).

InTheLight

luciddream
reply to post by InTheLight

 

I could not click on the link, my work Browser labelled it as "Pornography" and blocked it.

Anyway, who says there can't be male feminist, they, imo, are worse than the female feminist.

Who says people who advocate against rape in any form are likely feminists?

Nobody.

What is more the "wacky feminist extremist camp" is the propensity to call pretty much anything rape. I know they think it shows how severe they think their concerns are but in reality it really demeans whom who were actually raped.

What makes that book consistent with the wacky feminist extremist types (and I use that term to differentiate from feminism that is about equal rights vs the wacky types who are more about hating men and women who do not fit in their agenda rather than actual liberation) is the same type of language "emotional rape" and some psychobabble.

taoistguy
well, i'm outta this thread. there seems to be some who just don't understand the political, social, cultural and historical issues and some who don't want to. nothing more can be said.

Actually, I think I've provided some very coherent and informed discussion. You seem the one with comprehension issues.

reply to post by boncho

This is the first post you made that makes sense to me. Because you are finally distinguishing the differences. The problem with the college page is that it doesn't.

If you had taken the time to read all of the posts, you would have seen that I have been distinguishing the differences all along, and so have several other people on this thread. I personally have stated numerous times that the word "rape" was a poor choice in the context of this article. Not only because it has nothing to do with the legal definition of "rape", but it also diminishes the seriousness of actual rape when the lines become blurred like that. As a rape victim myself, I worry about things like this abetting rapists to commit more crimes while making it easier for people to look the other way. That is a very real and very serious problem in our legal system.

I am aware that the college page doesn't distinguish. They purposely did not. That is called "sensationlism" and it worked very well. They wanted attention. You came on ATS and gave it to them. So they got plenty of lip service before they were told to take down the article, which they have. Your OP:

Amazing what an edumication gets you these days. Make sure not to breath heavy or show interest in women, because you might be a rapist. Oddly enough, if you're at a bar, and a girl likes you, she might be mad you're not doing one or two of these… Must be the alcohol.

Sorry, but I call BS on your concern that the college newsletter wasn't distingushing the difference. If that was your reason for posting, why didn't you address the topic from that standpoint? The responses likely would have been quite a bit different, had you done so. Instead, you post an obscure article that would never have even been more than a blip on the radar if you hadn't brought it to attention, purposely mock education to imply that the writers of the article are intellectually lacking, and then proceed to further inflame things by insinuating that all women believe and live by the words that were written in said article. Also sensationalizing. And because it's such a sensitive subject, your OP pretty much guaranteed that the feedback would be volatile...presenting it from a "male" point of view and drawing a line in the sand by doing so. Had you presented it another way, that invited discussion about the validity of the article instead of finger-pointing and mockery, everyone might have actually learned something from this. But you did not, and you purposely did not. You created a divisive and hostile dynamic and then proceeded to egg that hostility on with impunity.

What is interesting to me is how quickly those of us who responded and tried explaining how the behaviors cited in the article really do affect women, by giving examples of our own personal experiences were attacked and openly mocked for our efforts. I am not sure I have ever been the object of so much hostility, disdain and ridiculous accusations about my character and personal integrity, all in the same discussion before. Part of the reason that people don't speak out about things like this; and by "people" I mean all people, men and women both, is the fear of being treated badly by others because of it. Even after more than one man shared their experiences with the same behavior by women, the focus remained on attempting to discredit all the females who commented. While the females expressed condolences to the men who spoke out, said we were sorry that happened to them, thanked them for sharing their stories...not once did any of us call those men liars or mock the validity of what happened to them...yet we did not receive the same courtesy.

I have no problem sharing my experiences with other people and I have a very tough skin, but I have to say even I was a little unsettled by the backlash I personally received for simply speaking the truth. I was accused of adopting "feminist" views, being "brainwashed", told that I would be a "spinster" for the rest of my life...and not just any old spinster either, but a bitter one. Because I stated that I feel uncomfortable when men follow me around the grocery store and make lewd gestures and comments. I was accused of "hating all men", told I have a "violent" streak because I carry a weighted bag to protect myself if I need to, while at the same time being mocked and told that I am helpless and need a white knight to come save me...if that is not a shining example of "damned if I do and damned if I don't", then I don't know what is. I was told that if men are acting in a lewd and lascivious manner it must either be my fault, or I am just overreacting. I noticed none of the men who spoke up and said they had much the same thing happen to them (worse even) were being ridiculed and their character impuned for speaking out. So who is stereotyping whom?

The fact is, both men and women behave inappropriately. And it is equally atrocious when they do. If someone causes me to become uncomfortable (such as the behaviors that I personally cited), and are deliberately doing so, that is malicious. That is done with definite intent. And it is wrong. Do I think that all men want to rape me? No, I do not. Did some feminist organization tell me when I should and should not feel threatened by something? No, they did not. My limbic system alerted me to a possible danger...to something that carries with it overtly sexual overtones and makes me take notice so that my eyes and brain can assess the threat level.

Conversely, if a guy passes by and makes friendly eye contact, smiles and says "hi" I do not get that adrenal response because that behavior is not threatening to me. I don't need someone to tell me when something doesn't feel right. Do you need someone to tell you that you should be wary and on guard if you come upon a coiled, hissing snake in your path in case it's poisonous and bites you? Not all snakes are poisonous you know. And not all snakes will strike. By that logic, are you going to ignore your instincts and take a chance on that snake? Or are you going to walk around it and keep out of reach because based on what you know about snakes, there is a good possibility that you will get bitten and poisoned? The snake didn't do anything to you, so why would you lump it in with all the other snakes on the planet? Could a reasonable explanation be made that you are erring on the side of caution, just in case? And if you do ignore your gut feeling, step over the snake and it strikes at you, do you regret not having paid better attention to the possible danger? Take the word "rape" out of the mix and apply the same logic to to a non-sexual scenario and you get a whole different way of approaching it.

reply to post by James1982

A woman walking down the street and some guy looks at her.

Did you happen to read the OP? Or the rest of the thread? Where it is repeatedly mentioned that "looking" at someone is not the issue here, and never was.

Don’t allow psychological rape or commit it yourself. Psychological rape consists of verbal harassment, whistles, kissing noises, heavy breathing, sly comments or stares.

How did any of you who posted the same thing somehow arrive at the conclusion that simply glancing at another person equates to any of the behaviors described in that article? It is very specific and says nothing about people simply looking at another person. I cannot believe how many people keep saying that if they look at a woman, they will be accused of rape.

What they are describing is not rape. It is obnoxious, unwelcome, bothersome and frightening to some people as well, but it is not rape. And they were erroneous in labeling it as such. But they did happen to get the list of behaviors pretty accurately...actually left a few more out...and nowhere was simply looking at a woman included in that list.

taoistguy
what do you feeln is wrong with that title? you do realise how astronomical the figure is of men who rape women?
if we want to stop systematic greed in this world, should we write articles entitled 'how bankers rip us off', or should we instead title them 'how people rip us off, including those poor people'?

Your logic does not add up.

Financial greed is mainly exercised by bankers and the vast majority of bankers are greedy.

Rape is predominantly committed by men, but the vast majority of men don't commit rape.

Understand the difference?

reply to post by James1982

I know exactly what you mean with that last statement. It sucks. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. I have to do everything in my power to prove I'm not a rapist just because I'm a big scary looking man. That's messed up, I don't care how you look at it.

Really? Do tell...when was the last time you had to do "everything in your power" to prove you are not a rapist? Do you get accused of being a rapist often?

Statements like that are just silly. No one has to "prove" they aren't a rapist just based on being a man, scary and big or otherwise. And stop making it sound as if women are so timid and helpless, walking around trembling in fear that every man out there might want to sexually assault them. Even the blondest of blondes knows that someone looking scary or wolf-whistling or making kissing noises is nowhere remotely close to the same thing as someone holding a woman down and forcibly penetrating her. And it is ridiculous to assume that your physical appearance would be enough to strike fear of sexual assault in a woman as well. Are you Freddy Kruger or something? Do you walk around wearing a striped sweater and a fedora? No? Then quit flattering yourself.