Are you a psychological rapist?

taoistguy
reply to post by FriedBabelBroccoli

 

i too have overheard women making comments to their friends about men.
but the difference is they generally keep it between themselves and do not directly threaten the male. also, the difference is that not that men are "more open" as you say, but that men are more aggressive, abusive and threatning. the 'hardcore' words and physical body language they use is also so very extreme.

You should hang around with some of the rougher crowd. I've been groped a few times in my life.

FriedBabelBroccoli

InTheLight
Part of the original article on the college website (now taken off due to letters claiming discrimination):

www.avoiceformalestudents.com...

"Don’t allow psychological rape or commit it yourself. Psychological rape consists of verbal harassment, whistles, kissing noises, heavy breathing, sly comments or stares. These are all assaults on any woman’s sense of well-being. The underlying intention is to intimidate the woman. They are power plays couched in the language of sex."

It appears to me that the above-mentioned certain behaviours fall into the category of sexual coersion, so perhaps the writers of the article (who are they?) should consider changing the term of 'psychological rape' to 'psychological sexual coersion' - for the purpose of manipulating an individual into intimidation and compliance for their own sexual gratification.

Article on sexual violence on campuses and male perpetrators problematic attitudes on this subject:

cfsontario.ca...

edit on 6-3-2014 by InTheLight because: (no reason given)

edit on 6-3-2014 by InTheLight because: (no reason given)

edit on 6-3-2014 by InTheLight because: found good article

edit on 6-3-2014 by InTheLight because: (no reason given)

edit on 6-3-2014 by InTheLight because: (no reason given)

The statement which I have here in bold is a very telling hint at what organization the author associates with. Only the feminist movement thinks that the goal of whistling, sly comments, and stares are attempts at intimidation.

Your guessing at what organization the author associates with is just that, guesswork. Considering the source, Goshem College, why dismiss the author coming from a religious viewpoint? Do I need to link the Bible's teachings on lustful thoughts = adultery? If you research a little bit, sexual violence in campuses in North America is a problem, and the statistics report that 4 out of 5 women who are raped do not report it.

I asked Taoist guy a question which it seems they absolutely refuse to acknowledge, so I will pose it to you instead since you seem to be in a far more rational state of mind.

Every single day women stare at men and make comments about them of a sexual nature but usually the man does not hear it or is unaware of the stares. I know this is true from first hand experience and catching other women do it.

What will you have me say? Suck it up like we women have to? - or - What's good for the goose is good for the gander? Some women may say that, but I agree with most of the other posters on this thread, that any type of unwanted behaviour that makes anyone feel uncomfortable or fearful, should be addressed and stopped.

Do you think there is a difference just because the "victim" is aware or unaware? It is an undeniable fact that women engage in sexual talk about men (or women) they see just the same as men, but men tend to be more open about it.

Also do you think the standard gender role enforcement placed upon women keeps them from being forward rather than stealthy in their "psychological sexual coersion?"

That's a very interesting question re: gender role. From the little bit of research on this matter that I have read, researchers have found that women who cling onto traditional feminine roles are more likely to encounter sexual violence and the men who cling onto tradtional feminine role attitudes perpetrate more sexual and other types of violence on these types of women. So, you have opened up a can of worms here and I think that more research should be conducted to delve into this topic. In answer to your question, I believe a woman or a man may be stealthy in their psychological sexual coersion depending upon the many complex psychological, environmental, and social factors, and, of course, as with men, what their end goal needs are.

I am reposting this interesting article for you to peruse:


www.fit.edu...

-FBB

reply to post by InTheLight


You should note that in the article you linked to 'sexual coercion' takes place primarily from those the "victim" is close to.

That would indicate that the problem is NOT strangers (disgusting women/men) staring at you and breathing heavy but those closest to you.

Maybe the next time a hefer sits next to me and starts breathing heavy I should let them know that their "hard-core sexual coercion" is making me uncomfortable and they need to stop.

Basically that article says be afraid of those closest to you, be very afraid.

-FBB

FriedBabelBroccoli
reply to post by InTheLight

 

You should note that in the article you linked to 'sexual coercion' takes place primarily from those the "victim" is close to.

That would indicate that the problem is NOT strangers (disgusting women/men) staring at you and breathing heavy but those closest to you.

Maybe the next time a hefer sits next to me and starts breathing heavy I should let them know that their "hard-core sexual coercion" is making me uncomfortable and they need to stop.

Basically that article says be afraid of those closest to you, be very afraid.

-FBB

Actually, not noted in that article, but in another, is that sexual violence happens within the first eight weeks of campus life, so I would categorize them as acquaintenances that you really don't know.

Some of this stuff is just nuts. Does anyone really do that heavy breathing thing?
Speaking as a "fairly"normal bloke, I can relate to not maybe staring a bit, even saying something corny to get a telephone number or start a conversation, but breathing like I'm having an asthma attack? nah.

I also think there's a double standard at work.
Loads of workplaces run stripper nights for the women to go to, but wouldn't, for a second countenance the men organising one.

Check out this ad from the UK. Then imagine that the sexes are swapped over. Is it still just a bit of fun?

linky

As an aside, one mate reckons it's only sexual harassment if you don't fancy the person, so lock up ugly people and there'll be no harassment.

taoistguy
reply to post by NavyDoc

 

the term is 'pychological rape'. it suggests abuse of the mind and psyche. not physical rape. i guess the use of the word rape in the term has confused some people who are struggling trying to undertand it.

If someone says they are going to punch me in the nose, it may be harassment, intimidating, rude, and obnoxious but it is still not assault.

NavyDoc

taoistguy
reply to post by NavyDoc

 

the term is 'pychological rape'. it suggests abuse of the mind and psyche. not physical rape. i guess the use of the word rape in the term has confused some people who are struggling trying to undertand it.

If someone says they are going to punch me in the nose, it may be harassment, intimidating, rude, and obnoxious but it is still not assault.

of course not. but would you like to experience that type of thing day in day out?

taoistguy

NavyDoc

taoistguy
reply to post by NavyDoc

 

the term is 'pychological rape'. it suggests abuse of the mind and psyche. not physical rape. i guess the use of the word rape in the term has confused some people who are struggling trying to undertand it.

If someone says they are going to punch me in the nose, it may be harassment, intimidating, rude, and obnoxious but it is still not assault.

of course not. but would you like to experience that type of thing day in day out?

That would fall under harassment. To use the term "rape" is a bit over the top and is demeaning to women who have actually been raped.

psychological rape is a total mind f###.

reply to post by NavyDoc


i've already said...the term is 'pychological rape'. it suggests abuse of the mind and psyche. not physical rape. i guess the use of the word rape in the term has confused some people who are struggling trying to undertand it.

taoistguy
reply to post by NavyDoc

 

i've already said...the term is 'pychological rape'. it suggests abuse of the mind and psyche. not physical rape. i guess the use of the word rape in the term has confused some people who are struggling trying to undertand it.

No, it's not confusion but disagreement with their improper use of a word that is was used to create controversy and making their cause more "extreme." It reads as being very histrionic rather than logical and thoughtful.

RoScoLaz
psychological rape is a total mind f###.

My wife insinuates this about me daily. Either that or it's just rapist.

NavyDoc

taoistguy
reply to post by NavyDoc

 

i've already said...the term is 'pychological rape'. it suggests abuse of the mind and psyche. not physical rape. i guess the use of the word rape in the term has confused some people who are struggling trying to undertand it.

No, it's not confusion but disagreement with their improper use of a word that is was used to create controversy and making their cause more "extreme." It reads as being very histrionic rather than logical and thoughtful.

that's probably cos the situation is gettin extreme and many men just aint listening.

NavyDoc

taoistguy
reply to post by NavyDoc

 

i've already said...the term is 'pychological rape'. it suggests abuse of the mind and psyche. not physical rape. i guess the use of the word rape in the term has confused some people who are struggling trying to undertand it.

No, it's not confusion but disagreement with their improper use of a word that is was used to create controversy and making their cause more "extreme." It reads as being very histrionic rather than logical and thoughtful.

That is a more than fair assessment.

They took a viable and valid concern, and adulterated it with histrionic speech.

taoistguy


of course not. but would you like to experience that type of thing day in day out?

People who get "offended" or "psychologically damaged" by mere words have bigger problems than being "psychologically raped".

Sounds like a hurt feelings report is needed:

[snip]

taoistguy

NavyDoc

taoistguy
reply to post by NavyDoc

 

i've already said...the term is 'pychological rape'. it suggests abuse of the mind and psyche. not physical rape. i guess the use of the word rape in the term has confused some people who are struggling trying to undertand it.

No, it's not confusion but disagreement with their improper use of a word that is was used to create controversy and making their cause more "extreme." It reads as being very histrionic rather than logical and thoughtful.

that's probably cos the situation is gettin extreme and many men just aint listening.

Or, conversely, it is more histrionics from the "all men are rapists crowd."

reply to post by doubletap


ETA: its very large. It can be printed on regular letter sized paper.

This is the one i circulated amongst my peers at work, who all voted it in:

NavyDoc

taoistguy

NavyDoc

taoistguy
reply to post by NavyDoc

 

i've already said...the term is 'pychological rape'. it suggests abuse of the mind and psyche. not physical rape. i guess the use of the word rape in the term has confused some people who are struggling trying to undertand it.

No, it's not confusion but disagreement with their improper use of a word that is was used to create controversy and making their cause more "extreme." It reads as being very histrionic rather than logical and thoughtful.

that's probably cos the situation is gettin extreme and many men just aint listening.

Or, conversely, it is more histrionics from the "all men are rapists crowd."

doh. here we go again. arguing over a word and ignoring the very real problem.

reply to post by doubletap


it's already beem explained that it's not the words said. but the other things alonside them. :\

taoistguy

NavyDoc

taoistguy

NavyDoc

taoistguy
reply to post by NavyDoc

 

i've already said...the term is 'pychological rape'. it suggests abuse of the mind and psyche. not physical rape. i guess the use of the word rape in the term has confused some people who are struggling trying to undertand it.

No, it's not confusion but disagreement with their improper use of a word that is was used to create controversy and making their cause more "extreme." It reads as being very histrionic rather than logical and thoughtful.

that's probably cos the situation is gettin extreme and many men just aint listening.

Or, conversely, it is more histrionics from the "all men are rapists crowd."

doh. here we go again. arguing over a word and ignoring the very real problem.

But that's not a valid criticism of my point. Part of the many problems with gender issues is the opposite side as well--the "man can do no right, all men are rapists" crowd of which, given the very familiar language of the article, is who the author is part of. This histrionics makes the discussion even more difficult and makes real solutions even harder to obtain. This sort of language, part and parcel of a certain viewpoint and very prevalent in academia, is indeed part of the problem and a discussion of it is part of the solution.