My Dad has 3 months to a year to live

I am so sorry for the pain your family is, and will endure. You have a little time left to make memories, so do the best you can.
I imagine your dad would take comfort in being reassured that you will be there for your mom, too.
Death can strike at any moment, any age....you are fortunate in a way to know you have a little time.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but doctors are trained to 'lesson the blow' whenever they can. They will project an unrealistic date, and family will have some time to accept and adjust- then they watch their loved one slip away much faster than they thought.
If you make the most of every moment you have, then there will be no regrets.

As far as grieving; we all grieve differently and for different time periods. Time heals nothing, but the pain does recede as months and years go by. Most hospitals have grief support groups, and I think that it could be helpful sharing with others in similar situations.

Death has the ability to teach us more about life than living ever could.I wish you all best on your difficult journey.

Ms. Nugget

reply to post by DeadSeraph


comforting other family, denial, realization, tears, memories and you go on. Life doesnt give you any other choice.

Im sorry for your fathers health. I hate cancer. Its about one of the only things I actually do hate.

I have not lost my parents yet either. While it does scare me like it would anyone else, I have prepared myself mentally in a way with my belief in God. Whatever happens to our souls when we pass, I take comfort in knowing we will either.. 1. Be together, 2. Be somewhere else without conscious memory of any of it. 3. Be nowhere with nothing in a state of sleep. All 3 possibilities seem to reap comfort in there own ways.

I hope you can be strong for yourself and surviving members of your family. This will give you strength to carry on. Then remind yourself that death is in everyone's future. We start dying the minute we are born. I believe we shouldn't fear something that is so natural and part of a Universal code. We are for a reason, We die for a reason, It's all part of a much bigger plan. We don't understand it but I would like to think we can try not fear it.

Good Luck. and God Bless you and your family!

Sorry to hear of this. I lost my dad to brain cancer back in the seventies. They took a big chunk of his brain out when they operated but did not stop the cancer. It's not easy to watch someone you love get sicker and sicker.

reply to post by DeadSeraph

Sorry to hear about your father. Don't let the medical community put a number on how long your Dad has to live. Every person and every situation is different. Please check into the book Outsmart your cancer by Tanya Pierce The chapter on Protocel is very interesting. Intention and prayer are powerful tools in recovery. all the best ..

I guess what I'm wondering, is for those of you who have lost a parent, how do you deal with it? What was the grieving process like for you and when did you finally start to feel somewhat normal? What should I expect and what should I try to prepare for now?

reply to post by DeadSeraph


First, let me start by saying how very sorry I am to hear about your father. My heart goes out to you. I lost my father to lukemia more than 20 years ago now. I vividly remember the day he drew his last breath....I was right there with him holding his hand. It was devastating, and even now writing this it is hard to see the screen through the tears.....it brings back difficult memories. I still miss him and always will.

How did I deal with it? To be honest I was numb at first, shock I guess......and I was very worried about my mother as you are...I kept telling myself I needed to be strong for her and my brothers and sisters (I'm the oldest). Looking back now I'm sorry I denied myself the grieving process...in the immediate aftermath I was so busy making arrangements, and worrying about everyone else, it was somewhat easy not to think too deeply about it. It took more than a year before it fully hit me...happened when I was cleaning out the garage of his tools and things. I just broke down and finally grieved for him. It was a process and it got better from that point on...I finally let him go.

I wish I could tell you the road ahead is an easy one...but it is not. What I can tell you is that at some point, I'm sure it's different for everyone...the pain will lessen and you will be left with the love and memories that you shared with him. As for your mother....be there for her and comfort her as best you can. It's really all you can do. But I will tell you one thing....the strength of women never ceases to amaze me. As for your father...same goes. Be with him as much as you can. Tell him how much you love him...let him know what he means to you. As for preparing....I don't think you can be...I'm sorry if thats not what you wanted to hear. Like I said...cherish the time you have....every day is precious...treat it as such.

Again....I'm so sorry. I wish you and your family all the love and strength possible.

reply to post by DeadSeraph


I do share your pain - been there myself.

There are some hope of light, which at the time I was not aware of.

One of the very interesting cures, which seems to work, is this one: www.viewzone.com...

Have strength.

I am more sorry than I can say. I sent you a U2U. If you need an ear... I am on all hours of the night when most houses fall quiet and there is too much time to think alone.

I wish you strength to deal with everything you need to.

reply to post by DeadSeraph


I'm sorry to hear the bad news about your Dad.
I lost my Dad to lung cancer many years ago....and it still makes me a bit sad.

As others have said, enjoy his company as much as you can, be glad you have time with him and that you have already gotten on good terms.

Also, good to hear they will not make him suffer more by giving more chemo drugs.
I wish they had stopped the drugs much earlier with my Dad.

Prayers and good thoughts for you and your family.

reply to post by DeadSeraph


There was this guy I read about who basically mixed vinegar, molasses and water together and drank it I believe 2 times daily. Basically by raising the ph in your body kills the cancer. Look into it. I'm sorry your dad has cancer. My dad died of cancer in 95 so I know how it feels. Look into that and give it a try and maybe it will help.

I didn't read all the comments in here yet, but I will catch up tomorrow. I lost my Dad almost 6 yrs ago. He was in his eighties and lived a long and happy life. It is shocking at first and so very sad. You let him know now how much you love him. Be there for him in whatever way that you can. I believe that after this life, we go on to something different, something better. Your Father will know peace and there will be no more worries, no more pain. perhaps he knows all of that and that's why he says he wants to go home.

You have your ATS family here for you every step of the way. Much love to you Honey! I will keep checking in on you.

reply to post by DeadSeraph


Death is inevitable... Sorry.

Just look at it like this all these people here came out to say something good, heart warming and offer their sympathies to you and you're family, so you have people that must care out there. Don't sink into the feeling that death could come at any time, instead focus on life while it's there.

Life's like money it's there to be spent and wasted, borrowed and consumed. So use all of it.

reply to post by DeadSeraph


You know I am so sorry. I lost my dad when I was in my early 20's and it was the hardest thing I had ever faced at the time. I will pray for you...

You have to be by his side, don't have regrets, anything you think you might be giving up now can be made up for later. You have to be close to him in these last days.

The last 6 months of my father's life was spent asking forgiveness and forgiving each other, it was spend with me curled up with him as much as I could, and then sitting beside him as much as I could. It was spent together.... even when he could no longer speak I spoke to him anyway, just talked...

I know it is different with a man and his father than with daughters, but... you will need this too just the same.... and he needs it just as much.

You must know that even after your dad is gone, he will still be with you, and anytime you need him you can still talk to him. Sometimes you will hear him answer you through remembered words and conversations past and it will be as if he is still in the room.

reply to post by DeadSeraph


Everyone grieves differently hon. Everyone. I knew my father was dying but I was unprepared for the day he passed. I cannot remember the week following his death at all...

I started throwing up all the time after that, I mean ALL the time. I would throw up if I ate and throw up if I didn't eat, it didn't matter, I was puking. To get up in the morning meant throwing up about 4 or 5 times before I got out of bed, and I would throw up another 20 - 30 times before the day was out.

I lost 30 pounds in 1 month and my doctor threatened me with hospitalization if I couldn't stop loosing weight. He gave me adavan I think it was called, and told me to take as many as I needed every day in order to calm my nerves enough to eat. I was finally able to keep weight on, and even gained a few pounds after that first year, and it was my daughter who kept me fighting for my own life at one point, because it was literally killing me to loose him. (I am almost 5 foot 8 inches and weighed 130 when daddy died, so you can imagine how anorexic I looked at one point)

Then something weird happened. I started talking to my dad... just like before. If I needed advice I would say hey dad what do I do (he was my confident, my advisor, my everything when he was alive) If I just wanted to talk to him I just started talking to him...

And that is when I began to heal, that is when it became okay for him not to be beside me, because I would hear his words, I found he was still there, even if he wasn't there physically, he was still there.

You are going to be different than me, and you will grieve in your own way... but I do recommend talking to your dad, even after he dies.

You've been given some great advice. I'm so sorry to hear what your going through. I can't add much more, apart from spend more time together and constantly reassure him your going to take care of your mum.

I can only echo the words of previous posts. I lost both parents to cancer. My only advice is leave nothing unsaid,and nothing undone. Tomorrow comes very quickly and sometimes unexpectedly,especially when we have resigned ourself to our own end. The memories you make with your dad right now,will be the ones you carry the rest of your life. Make them good ones.

reply to post by DeadSeraph


I'm so, so sorry to hear your news, and would just like to reiterate what everyone else has said.
Leave nothing unsaid is great advice, and I guess to do it in your own time, and make sure you're taking good care of yourself too.
Having lost family to cancer, I know it's easy to burn yourself out trying to be all things to all people.
I love this poem; hope it helps:

“And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.”

B x

I lost my dad last year two days after I saw him he passed away , unfortunately I didn't get to spend a lot of time with him I was busy with work (single income family) I really didn't have the choice but to work I know he knew it was what I had to do I really didn't give myself time to grieve I went back to work the next day thought if I kept busy it would help and it did . I was happy he got to meet my son before he passed on , kills me that he won't watch his two grand children grow up it really does.

Like you I hadn't lost anyone close before it hurt like a btch it still does I guess it just gets easier with time .

Look up sour sop vs. cancer. Jim kelmun maple syrup recipe. Coconut oil. Marine phytoplankton. Liquid chlorophyll (replenishes hemoglobin). Wasabi targets the protein process of cancer cells. Solay (liquid-light). Make with Himalayan pink salt to recharge and cleanse internal plasma. I don't know you personally friend. But listen to these words : Turn to nature. Conventional medicine is grasping at straws at best. The keys to fighting cancer are simple: Alkalinity and oxygen. Cancer hates both. Cannabis has been shown time and time again to shrink tumors.

Spend time with him, like others have said.

His death was always inevitable, just like your own, and mine.

None of us are getting out of here alive. Only thing left to do is enjoy the time we do have, with those who will have us.